


New York 1988

by December1983



Series: New York 1988 Collection [1]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Call me by your name fix it, Domestic Fluff, Elio is a student at Juilliard, Elio loves Oliver and his boys, M/M, Mild Angst, Oliver is a professor at Columbia, Oliver is divorced and has kids, The opposite of a slow burn, dad!Oliver, reunited five years later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:33:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 67,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25515814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/December1983/pseuds/December1983
Summary: Elio and Oliver reunite in 1988 and start a life together in New York. Oliver is a divorced father of two boys and a professor at Columbia. Elio is starting grad school at Juilliard. Much love and domestic fluff ensues when these two finally get to be together.
Relationships: Oliver & Elio Perlman, Oliver/Elio Perlman
Series: New York 1988 Collection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037139
Comments: 194
Kudos: 374





	1. Reunited in Crema

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio and Oliver reunite in Crema five years later.

They reunited the Summer of 1988. Oliver was on another trip to Italy for research, and Samuel and Annella had invited him to spend a couple days at the villa.

Elio was there, as Oliver had hoped he would be. He was a little taller, shoulders a little broader, hair a little longer, and he seemed a little more sure of himself. He had just graduated from the Milan Conservatory, and Oliver tried to hide his reaction when Elio announced he’d be continuing his education at Juilliard in the Fall. 

He smiled and said, “Congratulations.”

Shortly after they sat down for dinner, Oliver got the question he’d been waiting for. Samuel asked about his wife and the boys. Without missing a beat, he responded, “They’re well, _really_ well. Rachel just moved to a new firm where she’s really happy. But I should tell you . . . we got divorced at the end of last year.”

“Oh, Oliver,” Annella said. “We’re sorry to hear that.” Samuel nodded in agreement and poured Oliver some more wine.

“Thank you. But, really, it was for the best for both of us. And the boys are doing well.” He reached in his back pocket for his wallet and pulled out a picture of his boys. The Perlmans all leaned in to take a look.

“How precious,” Samuel said, a grin on his face.

“Simon is almost four and Noah is 18 months.”

“Oliver, they look just like you.” Annella said.

Oliver put the picture back in his wallet and finally risked a look at Elio who had a small smile on his face. They held eye contact for just a moment, but it was long enough.

After dinner, Elio played the piano as Oliver, Annella, and Samuel stood to watch and listen. Oliver was still trying to accept that he was here in this place that had meant so much to him with these people who had changed his life.

“Perlmans . . ." he said. “I’m so happy to be here with you, but I’m dead on my feet. I’m afraid I won’t last much longer.”

“ _Go_ , sleep, sleep.” Samuel said. “We put you in the room across the hall from Elio’s this time.”

“The storage room?” Oliver asked. Last time he’d been here that room had been full of dusty furniture.

“It’s a guest room now, but you’ll still have to share a bathroom with Elio and our visiting student. She’s spending a few days in Milan, but you might meet her before she goes.”

“Thank you,” Oliver said. “I’ll see you all in the morning.”

He turned and walked toward the stairs and laughed as he heard three distinct voices say, “ _Later_.”

“Later,” he replied through a smile. When he made it to the top of the stairs, everything was exactly as it had been. He found his room with his bags sitting on his bed. He rifled through his duffle to find the cigarettes he had purchased at the airport. He still didn’t smoke, but the rules were different here.

He had been out on the balcony for no more than ten minutes when Elio was suddenly at his side, leaning against the railing. They were silent for a while and then Elio said, “I like your hair shorter.”

“Yeah?” Oliver replied.

Elio nodded and fought his smile. Oliver could not resist saying, “You’re still so beautiful, Elio. I—”

“Oliver . . . ” Elio interrupted. He had already taken a step back toward the door and was scratching at the nape of his neck and avoiding eye contact. “I should . . . . It’s late. I should get to bed.”

“ _Stay_. Please _,_ Elio.” Oliver pleaded.

Elio shook his head and looked down at his feet.

“Are you seeing someone?”

“ _No_.” Elio answered.

“You don’t want me?” Oliver asked. He had no idea where he got the nerve to ask that question. The lack of sleep must have lowered his inhibitions and robbed him of his sense.

Elio looked surprised but he had his answer prepared. “I . . . I can’t do this again. It almost broke me the first time you left.”

“In a month, you’ll be in New York and I’ll be there.” Juilliard was a 20 minute subway ride from his apartment.

“Oliver, you haven’t slept in 24 hours. Get some rest and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

Oliver nodded. He knew he needed to let Elio go, but it was so hard to watch him walk away. He ached to touch him and hold him, tell him he wasn’t going to change his mind. He never would.

Elio disappeared quickly into his room and Oliver stood there on the balcony finishing his cigarette. He was so tired that when he made it to his room, he did no more than remove his pants and button down shirt before falling asleep on top of the covers.

When he opened his eyes, there was light coming through the windows. He walked across the hall and took a quick shower before heading downstairs and outside to the breakfast table.

Oliver ate breakfast with Samuel and Annella. As he had that Summer, Oliver wondered what it would be like if he could sit with his own parents this way. The Perlmans no doubt knew he must be wondering where Elio was and Samuel casually mentioned he’d taken off early on his bike.

If he had to guess, Elio was at his spot. Oliver was tempted to jump on a bike and go find him, but the desperate approach had not worked very well for him the night before. He would not hide how he felt, knowing how much his seeming indifference had hurt Elio before, but he was going to give him space. He would come find Oliver when he was ready to talk.

So Oliver put on his swimsuit, grabbed his manuscript and notes, and got to work in heaven. When he woke up, Elio was sitting in the lounge chair next to him.

“What time is it?” He asked.

“Almost 11.” Elio answered. “Still jet lagged?”

“I felt fine when I woke up.” Oliver said, rubbing his eyes. “How was your morning?”

“It was good. I went to my spot for a while and did some reading and writing.”

Looking at Elio, he couldn’t read his thoughts and he knew that was a bad sign. But he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Are you ready to talk?”

Elio nodded. “Oliver, I . . . what do you want? You didn’t really tell me.”

“I want to be together.” Oliver answered.

“What does that mean?” Elio asked. “I’d be your secret?”

“No, Elio. You’d be my boyfriend.” Oliver replied.

Elio shook his head and Oliver saw tears in his eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay. Elio, what’s wrong?” This time Oliver couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to him, awkwardly leaning over to Elio to take his hands. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and pull him into his lap, but he knew that wasn’t the right thing to do.

“Oliver . . . ." He started. “I want . . . I want that, but I didn’t expect this. I can’t . . . .”

Even though his heart was breaking, Oliver knew he had to be strong. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“Do you hate me?” Elio asked quietly.

Oliver laughed. “No, I don’t hate you. I’m your friend and I’ll be here.”

“You’re going to leave again,” Elio said.

“I’ll be in Italy for another week and a half, and then in less than a month, we’ll both be in New York.”

“Can we talk again then? In New York?” Elio asked.

“Of course.” Oliver said and smiled at him. He squeezed his hands a final time and let go. “I need to grab another book from my room. You need anything?”

Elio shook his head and wiped away his tears. Oliver gave him a quick nod and made his way into the house. He prayed he wouldn’t run into anyone on the way to his room. He was barely holding it together.

In the privacy of his room, he sat on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. Elio had given him some hope to hold onto, but he still felt the sting of loss. It was so hard to finally have Elio so close and have him feel so far away.

Oliver took several deep breaths and then stood up, wiped his eyes, put on his sun glasses, grabbed his book, and walked back outside. He smiled when he saw Elio still sitting in heaven, now with two glasses of apricot juice.

Both of them put on a happy face and enjoyed the afternoon together. Even if he couldn’t have Elio the way he wanted, it was still a dream to sit in the sun with him like they had so often that Summer. This was a place he’d gone to in his mind many times over the last five years.

After lunch, they returned to heaven for their afternoon naps and then went for a swim to cool down. In the late afternoon, Oliver walked through the orchard with Annella to help her pick fruit. It had been their little tradition that Summer.

She asked about his boys and Oliver was so delighted to talk about them. Simon’s birthday was only a few days after he’d get back to New York. “I can’t believe my baby is going to be 4!”

“They grow up so fast. I remember when my baby was 4 and now he’s 22 and moving to America.”

“You raised him well.” Oliver said. “I think he’ll like it in New York.”

“He will. It was a hard decision for him, but I think the right one.” Annella said.

“I’ll be there. If he needs anything.”

Annella smiled at him and patted his arm. “You’re a good man, Oliver. And still our favorite student. Be patient with him.”

“Thank you. I will.” Oliver said. “Pro— _Samuel_ ,” he corrected, “seems pretty impressed with your student this year.”

“She could give you a run for your money in the classroom, but you still have our hearts, Oliver.”

“Thank you,” he said. “Things with my family aren’t great right now, with the divorce and everything, so it’s nice to be here with you all.”

“You are always very welcome and we are never more than a phone call away.”

Oliver nodded and opened his eyes wide to keep any tears from running down. He knew he couldn’t hide anything from Annella, but it had already been an emotional day, and he didn’t want to lose it again. She patted him on the back and they made their way back through the rows of fruit trees.

When they reached the house, Samuel was sitting outside with a cigar and he offered Oliver one. They sat in the chairs where they’d often met to discuss Oliver’s book. This time they discussed Oliver’s children and his divorce before they got to the subject of the _new_ book he was working on.

Their dinner guests that night were two professors from Berkeley. Quite fascinating, but Oliver appreciated their presence more so that he could hide in plain sight. The day’s events had caught up with him and he needed some time to wallow.

He hadn’t known for sure that Elio would be here. He didn’t know he’d be moving to New York. That they could have a second chance. He did not understand how it was possible to experience such a profound sense of loss for something he didn’t even know was possible 24 hours before.

It had always been more comfortable to be alone with his pain, but he didn’t want to waste this time with the Perlmans or be a bad houseguest, so he responded with a smile whenever anyone addressed him and when he had been quiet too long, he’d jump into the conversation with as much charm as he could manage.

He could feel Elio watching him, and when Oliver dared to make eye contact, it was always a concerned look he found on Elio’s face. Oliver did his best to smile back.

When they walked back inside after waving goodbye to the guests, Oliver could see he was witnessing a little ritual of the Perlmans. The three of them sitting in the living room for one last drink before bed. But when Samuel asked him what he was drinking, he could not stand to intrude on this moment, to be treated like part of the family when he wasn’t, so he made his excuses about needing another night to catch up on sleep and quickly excused himself.

Oliver did not have the energy or courage or whatever else he was lacking to do anything but strip down to his boxers, climb under the covers of his bed, and turn off the bedside lamp.

He must have fallen asleep, because he was aware that time had passed and he hadn’t been conscious for it, but he was instantly awake when he heard the door open and saw Elio slip through the slightest opening, trying not to let too much light in.

He was still wearing loose jean shorts, but had removed his shirt. And Oliver had no time to think before Elio had climbed under the covers and was cuddling up to his left side.

“Elio.” Oliver said. “What . . . what are you doing?”

“You know what I’m doing” Elio replied, moving around a little to get comfortable at Oliver’s side.

“Don’t do this unless you mean it, because I can’t . . . . I learned today that I can’t . . . . You have to mean it.”

He felt Elio’s lips on his shoulder as he said. “Of course I mean it.”

“What changed?” He asked.

“I can’t stand this any better than you can.” Elio said. “Oliver . . . ."

Elio spoke in this soothing, nurturing voice he’d never used with Oliver before, and Oliver reacted by turning into him, burying his face in the crook between Elio’s neck and shoulder.

Elio did not seem surprised by this sudden movement at all and quickly wrapped one arm securely around Oliver’s back and smoothed down the hair at Oliver’s nape with the other.

“It’s okay,” he heard Elio say. “I’m sorry about today. I thought I needed more time to be sure this was right. But I know now.”

Oliver couldn’t bring himself to respond. He kept his eyes closed tight and breathed Elio in. He felt a hand in his hair and another running up and down his back. He felt Elio mouth at the side of his face and then place a single kiss on his cheek.

He thought he might get whiplash from the sudden reversal of fate and needed a moment to process it, to believe it was really Elio holding him. It took several minutes and then all at once he realized this was real and there was no reason to hold onto any of the pain. In another sudden movement, Oliver flipped onto his back and pulled Elio on top of him, his long limbs flying around and the most beautiful little laugh coming from his mouth.

When they settled like that, Elio securely on top of him, Oliver smiled up at him and said, “Hi.”

Elio’s face broke open, but instead of answering, he hid his smile in Oliver’s chest as if this was all too much.

Oliver laughed. “Oh, is that all I get? Not even a kiss?” This already felt too comfortable, too easy.

He heard Elio sigh and watched as he slowly lifted his head and scooted forward, so his face was in line with Oliver’s. Oliver quickly cupped his face and smiled before pulling Elio in close for a gentle kiss. When Oliver pulled back, Elio whined and chased his lips for another kiss.

When they finally did separate, Oliver asked: “Did you all start talking about me the minute I came upstairs?”

Elio blushed and hid his face again in Oliver’s chest for a moment before lifting it and replying, “They asked what happened. If you were okay.”

“What did you tell them?” Oliver asked.

“I told them what happened.” Elio answered. “That you said you wanted to be with me and I didn’t know what . . . I, I asked if we could talk in New York. Was that okay? They already knew about us from before and I—“

“It’s okay.” Oliver interrupted. “Of course. I know they know. Your mother told me to be patient with you.”

“Of course she did,” Elio said. “I didn’t realize until later that she knew that whole Summer what was going on.”

“I saw her looking at us over her newspaper a couple times.” Oliver said. “Did you ask for their advice?”

“Yeah. I just . . . maybe I should have just talked to you, but I didn’t trust myself to make the right decision. They saw what I went through. Most of it, anyway. I wanted to be sure I wasn’t stupid for trying again.”

“It will be different this time,” Oliver promised.

“I know.” Elio smiled.

“I do . . .” Oliver started. “I do have children, you know.”

“I know.” Elio said. “Noah and Simon.”

Oliver nodded. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“What? Oliver, yes. I want all of you. Your whole life.”

“That includes my ex-wife too. Because of the boys, she’s always going to be in our lives.”

“I know, Oliver.” Elio said, a concerned look on his face. “Are you trying to scare me away already?”

“ _No_ ,” Oliver said. “I just want you to know what you’re getting yourself into. I don’t want there to be any surprises when you get to New York.”

“I know as well as I can know, and I hope you will be patient with me.” He went from completely earnest to smirking within one sentence, as he echoed his mother’s advice to Oliver.

Oliver reached up quickly and tickled Elio’s sides until he was giggling and pleading breathlessly for mercy. “Oh, I’ll be patient all right!” Oliver said as he relented.

“They’re sweet boys. And as far as ex-wives go, I got very lucky.” Oliver said.

“Why . . . ?” Elio started. “Can I ask why you got divorced.

“You can ask me anything, baby. I’m an open book to you.”

Elio hummed and quietly murmured, “ _baby_.”

“You’re so cute,” Oliver said, gripping Elio’s chin. Elio let his mouth fall open and they got distracted kissing for a moment.

When they separated, Oliver picked up the conversation where they had left off. “I always hoped you saw the birth announcement and did the math. We got married because Rachel was pregnant. We weren’t even really together at the time.”

“You said you were off and on?”

“Yeah, a couple times in college, but we’d been broken up for a long time. We started talking again after I got back, and it was just something . . . familiar.”

“Were you in love?” Elio asked quietly.

“I love Rachel. She’s a good person and clever, smart, funny. But we were never _in_ love.” Oliver said.

“How could she not be in love with you?” Elio asked.

Oliver laughed. “Quite easily, I think.”

“So you got married just because she was pregnant?” Elio asked.

“I know it’s hard to understand, but we both have . . . _difficult_ parents. I was realizing I could never have what I wanted and Rachel had her own reasons. We tried to make it work, but I think we realized at a certain point that we didn’t have to compromise anymore.”

“What did you want, Oliver?”

“You know,” Oliver said.

“Say it.”

“ _You_.”

“Yeah?” Elio asked and Oliver nodded. “I thought there was no way you felt the way I did.”

“Elio, five years ago I didn’t see any way we could be together. I didn’t know what to do and—.”

“I know,” Elio interrupted. “I know.”

“I’m sorry.” Oliver said, closing his eyes.

“I know,” Elio said again. “Look at me.”

Oliver took a deep breath and opened his eyes.

“Elio, Elio, Elio.” He said. “Why did you ask me to call you by name?”

“In that moment, I wanted to be closer to you any way I could be, make what was happening feel not so fleeting.” Oliver answered. “But if you asked me back then, I’m sure I said something far more pretentious.”

Elio laughed.

“Come here,” Oliver said, opening his arms. Elio collapsed against him and Oliver wrapped his arms around him. “Ol-i-ver.” he murmured in Elio’s ear.

Oliver was sure they were both thinking about sex. He could feel that Elio was at least half hard. But aside from occasional breaks to kiss, they only talked that night.

The next morning, Oliver woke up to find Elio asleep on top of him. At least he seemed to be asleep, but he was making small little movements thrusting his hips into Oliver.

“Morning,” Oliver said, running his fingers up and down Elio’s back, finally letting them dip under the waistband of his denim shorts.

“ _Want_ you.” Elio murmured, increasing the intensity of his thrusts. He lifted his head and searched for Oliver’s lips.

Oliver smiled into the kiss and pulled Elio into a better position, which made Elio whimper into his mouth and start rolling his hips.

“Let’s get these off,” Oliver said, pulling at the waistband of Elio’s shorts. He moved a hand to the front to undo the button and then pushed them down with Elio’s boxers.

Oliver then started turning to set Elio down on his back. Elio gripped his biceps and said, “Oliver, no. I want . . . .” He trailed off.

Oliver set him down gently on his back, kissed his cheek, and asked, “What do you want?”

“I want to be on top.” Elio answered. “ _No_ , I mean . . . I want to ride you.”

Oliver leaned down to kiss his lips. “Okay,” he said, pulling away. “Let me grab what we need.” He got up off the bed and went to his bag sitting in the corner. As quickly as he could, Oliver returned with a condom and small bottle of lube.

Elio looked at what he had in his hands. “Did you know this would happen?”

Oliver laughed. “No, I had no idea what to expect, but I thought I should be prepared this time.”

Elio smiled and watched as Oliver tossed the lube and condom on the bed next to him and then pulled Elio’s shorts and boxers the rest of the way off, removed his own boxers, and climbed on the bed. “I think it will be easier for me to get you ready like this.”

Elio nodded and pulled his knees up while Oliver put lube on his fingers. Elio moaned at the first touch and seemed almost completely gone within minutes. It wasn’t long before he was pleading with Oliver.

“A little bit longer, baby. I don’t want to hurt you.” Oliver said.

“You won’t, you won’t. I’m ready.” Elio said, arching his back as Oliver added a third finger. He didn’t want to argue with Elio, but he wanted to be sure his body was prepared to take him. After another minute, Elio pleaded again, “Oliv _errrrr_.”

“Okay, okay,” Oliver said, flipping their positions, so his back was on the bed and Elio was on top of him again. Elio was out of it enough that he seemed to be surprised to find himself in a new position, even though it was what he’d wanted. Oliver reached for the lube again and the condom.

In that time, Elio seemed to have come back to himself and he took both items from Oliver and then stroked Oliver’s cock until it was fully hard. He then rolled the condom on him and stroked him again, this time with lube.

Oliver just watched as this happened. Elio had taken to things quickly that first Summer, but they’d had so little time together that he never got to see him act with this level of experience and self-assurance, knowing exactly what to do to bring pleasure to both himself and Oliver.

When they were both ready, Oliver held up his hand to help Elio balance as he lined them up and slowly sunk down on Oliver’s cock. The feeling was unbelievable, but Oliver was mesmerized watching Elio who took things very slowly, but aside from a couple winces of pain, seemed gone again, lost in pleasure. He took Oliver by complete surprise when moments after he was fully seated, he looked right into his eyes and smiled.

“Elio,” Oliver said, breathless. “I’m not going to last.”

Elio leaned down and ghosted his lips across Oliver’s. “Me neither,” he said. “Are you ready?”

Oliver closed his eyes, but nodded, and Elio started rolling his hips slowly and then lifted himself up a bit before sliding back down. Oliver thought about planting his feet on the bed and thrusting up, but this was already going to be over too quickly, so he just held Elio around his hips and let him do the work.

Minutes later when Oliver knew he was about to come, he wrapped a hand around Elio’s cock and started stroking him up and down. Elio’s moans increased and then he was coming. Oliver let go then and followed.

They held their positions for a minute as they both came down from their orgasms, but before things could get uncomfortable, Oliver held the base of the condom while Elio pulled off of him and collapsed on the bed.

Oliver picked his boxers up off the floor and cleaned them up a bit before collapsing on the bed next to Elio and pulling the younger man into his arms. They didn’t talk right away, but eventually Elio sighed and nuzzled against Oliver’s shoulder.

“Does this make you happy?” Oliver asked.

Elio nodded into him and was quiet for a moment longer until he said, “I love you, Oliver.”

Oliver turned his head to look at him and grinned. “I love you too.” He kissed Elio’s forehead and they relaxed into that moment together.

It had been true for a long time, but it was the first time they had ever exchanged those words, and Oliver was grateful, as he always was, for Elio’s courage. Despite the implied promises in everything they had talked about the night before, this felt like commitment in a way that had not. He loved Elio and it was a relief to say it.

After several long minutes of peaceful silence, Oliver asked, “Are you going to fall back to sleep?” Elio’s eyes were half closed already, but he shook his head. Oliver laughed and asked, “Do you want to go down for breakfast then? I know you need your regular Nutella fix.”

At that, Elio giggled and opened his eyes wide. “I need a shower first.” He trailed a finger down Oliver’s chest and said, “You do too.”

Quickly, they showered together, which was ridiculous given the size of the shower, but after so many years apart, they didn’t mind things being ridiculous or inconvenient if it meant they could be together.

They then made their way downstairs and Oliver confessed, “The first morning I was here, I got lost in the house trying to find you guys.”

Elio laughed. “You know your way now,” he said, taking Oliver’s hand as they walked outside to the breakfast table.


	2. Elio in New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio arrives in New York and Oliver is waiting for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments and kudos on the first chapter. This is not the first fic I've written, but it's the first I've ever posted, so I was nervous. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

It was harder than Elio expected to say goodbye to his parents. Despite their frequent guests, it had just been the three of them all his life. He’d lived on his own while at the conservatory, but he was still close enough to come over for dinner or stop by his father’s office at the university when he wanted to talk.

Moving to New York was something Elio had been dreaming about since he was a kid, but now he felt that if there wasn’t someone waiting for him there, he might be second guessing his decision to leave Italy.

He’d had just over a week with Oliver, most of it spent at the villa and a few days in Rome where he helped Oliver with his research. They had spoken on the phone almost every day that had passed since, and Elio had asked a lot of questions, but he still had no idea what to expect when he arrived in New York.

Oliver had given every indication that he was serious about their relationship and Elio believed him. Oliver might have broken his heart five years ago, but he had never given him any reason not to trust him. Looking back, Elio could see how careful Oliver had been that Summer not to make him any promises.

Things were different this time. But the self-protective part of Elio he’d developed since he was 17 and reckless with his heart had been working hard to manage his expectations, to save himself future pain and disappointment.

A long flight spent trying not to think of what or who was waiting for him in New York had left Elio unprepared for the reality of Oliver standing there, visible above everyone else, when he got off the plane. He was grinning at Elio as he worked his way through the crowd. When there was only a few feet separating them, Oliver opened his arms and Elio walked straight into his chest, burying his face to hide his emotion.

“Elio,” Oliver said as he steadied them both and wrapped his arms tight around Elio’s shoulders. He could feel Oliver speaking before he could comprehend what he was saying. He only made out, “I’ve got you.”

Elio wasn’t sure if they’d been standing there 20 seconds or 20 minutes, but when he pulled back to look at Oliver, he found he was still smiling at him. Oliver grabbed his hand and asked, “You ready?”

Elio could only smile and nod, suddenly feeling quite shy. Oliver always overwhelmed his senses and his blinding smile wasn’t helping. Elio had never seen Oliver look so happy.

“Come on, let’s go!” Oliver said, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the flow of traffic. Elio followed behind for a moment, letting himself be dragged, and then skipped forward so he was walking next to Oliver. “Are you tired? Hungry? We’ll get your bags and then go to your new place. You’re supposed to be there by noon, right?”

It took Elio a moment to process enough of what was happening to answer Oliver’s questions. “Tired, yes. A little hungry, but I ate on the plane. I can move in any time this afternoon.”

“It’s this way,” Oliver said, pulling him down a long corridor to the left. Now that his instincts were coming back to him, Elio looked around to see if anyone had noticed Oliver was holding his hand, but no one seemed to be paying them any attention.

By the time they had completed the long walk to baggage claim, there were already bags spinning around the carousel. Elio spotted one of his large duffel bags right away and ran to pull it off the conveyer. He struggled for a moment and just as it became much easier, he noticed that Oliver was behind him doing most of the lifting.

“Is this it?” Oliver asked.

“No, I have one more.” Elio replied, scanning for his other bag.

Once they were each carrying a big bag, they slowly made their way to the taxi line. There was only one man in front of them, so they were soon loading Elio’s stuff into the trunk and sliding into the back seat of a cab.

As they took off, Oliver looked at him and said, “I’m so glad you’re here” and then leaned close to Elio’s ear to whisper, “I would kiss you if I could.” Elio blushed, but this time didn’t shy away from looking straight into Oliver’s eyes as he pulled away. He hoped they conveyed everything he was feeling.

They were quiet on the drive into the city except for Oliver pointing out major landmarks. As they got closer, Elio gave the cab driver the exact address of his new place. He was renting a room from a woman named Edna who he had spoken to on the phone a couple times now. Oliver carried Elio’s two large bags as he hit the buzzer outside the door. It was only a moment before the door opened and a small elderly woman stood in front of him. “Edna?” he asked.

The place was mostly what Elio had imagined. A narrow three-story building. Inside the front door was another door to the left that led to Edna’s apartment and a steep staircase to the right.

Edna led Elio and Oliver into her place to sign the lease and go through some additional details. “You’ve already paid through the end of the year. I’ll need you to notify me by December 1st if you plan to continue renting. There are five of you total. The rooms are private, but you’ll be sharing a kitchen and the two bathrooms, one on the second floor and one on the third. The communal spaces will be cleaned weekly. You can use the laundry room after 6pm any day or you can pay an additional fee to have your laundry done weekly. Come and go as you please, of course, but it’s typically a quiet place and overnight guests are infrequent.”

Elio nodded and thought about what that meant for his time with Oliver.

Edna motioned toward the stairs, “Why don’t you and your friend go take a look and let me know if you have any questions? I have trouble with my knees or I’d show you the room myself. Here are your keys. The big one is for the front door and the smaller one is your room. Room #3, which is straight back once you reach the top of the stairs.”

Edna handed Elio the key and he looked at Oliver who smiled, picked up the bags, and started toward the stairs. Elio followed him before turning around to thank Edna.

“Of course, darling. I’m always here if you need anything. Just knock on my door or slip a note through the mail slot.”

Elio nodded again and caught up with Oliver on the stairs. “I can carry one of those,” he said.

“I’ve got it. You go ahead of me and unlock the door.” When they reached the top of the stairs, Elio quickly moved around Oliver and unlocked the door to room #3. Oliver followed him inside and set down his bags next to a large trunk at the foot of the bed. They then both took a moment to look around the room, which consisted of a bed, night table, and desk with a chair.

There was a bathroom right outside his room and a small galley kitchen as well. Another steep staircase led up to the third floor. They didn’t see any other tenants, but there was a small phone table with a bulletin board above it that included some notes and a couple pictures.

“This is a nice place.” Oliver said. “Do you think it will work for you?”

Elio turned to look at him. “Yeah, I think so.”

“I hope you’ll be staying with me a lot of the time, but it’s good to have your own place and it’s close to school.”

Elio nodded.

“So what do you need to get settled? Do you have sheets and towels?”

“Yeah, Mafalda packed some for me.” He kicked the trunk at the foot of the bed. “We sent this ahead of time for my books and all the things she thought I’d need.” It was still so strange to him that Oliver was there, that he was here with Oliver, and they were talking about something as mundane as towels.

“Do you want to start unpacking now or . . . ?” Oliver trailed off and grinned at him.

“Or?” Elio asked. He couldn’t hide his own smile.

Oliver reached a long arm toward the bedroom door and pushed it mostly closed before walking toward Elio. Watching him closely, Elio stood still as Oliver brought his large hands up to cup his face. Oliver just looked at him for a moment, running a thumb along Elio’s bottom lip until he let out a little whine.

“Oliver . . . .” Elio begged. Oliver grinned and leaned in to kiss him. When he pulled away, Elio tried to chase his lips, but Oliver held him firmly in place. “I want . . . .“ Elio started. “I want to be alone with you.”

Oliver laughed at his desperation. “I was hoping you would say that.”

“What do I tell Edna?” Elio asked.

“I’ll take care of it,” Oliver said, letting him go. “Pack what you need, at least for tonight.”

Elio picked up the backpack he had carried on the plane and quickly filled it with clothes and his toiletries.”

As Elio finished packing and locked the door to his room, Oliver started down the stairs. Elio found him leaning into Edna’s apartment and heard him say, “Elio is pretty exhausted from the flight, so he’s going to stay with me and we’ll get him all moved in later this week.”

“Oh, of course.” She said as Elio leaned in next to Oliver. “I’m sure it was a long journey. You take care of yourself, Elio, and I’ll see you boys later.”

“Thank you for everything, Edna.” Elio said.

“Of course. Welcome to New York!”

They said their final goodbyes to Edna before making it out to the street. Elio had been to New York a few times before and had always been fascinated by the energy of the city, but today he could think of little more than Oliver, who had grabbed his hand again and was pulling him toward the subway.

Elio could not say how long they were on the train. Oliver had let go of his hand, but they were seated close, so that the whole left side of his body was touching Oliver. When they made it to the right stop, Oliver grabbed him again and pulled him out of the train and up the stairs to the street.

They walked for another block and then Oliver let go of him again to pull keys from his pocket and open the door to a large building. They rode an old elevator up to the fifth floor and walked down a narrow hallway until Oliver stopped in front of a door and pulled out his keys again.

Once he got the door open, he let Elio pass in front of him. He had planned to jump into Oliver’s arms the minute they were behind a closed door, but Elio found himself fascinated to be in Oliver’s space for the first time. He walked into the apartment and looked around.

It was a narrow apartment with large windows. The front door led into the living room and he could see the kitchen and a small alcove with a desk. Books and papers were stacked neatly on the desk and Elio could not help but walk toward them and run his fingers lightly over the books. He turned back to find Oliver watching him.

“I’ve only ever seen you in my space.” Elio said.

“And now you’re in mine.” Oliver smiled. “Well, _ours_. Hold on.”

Elio watched as Oliver walked around him to his desk and pulled something out of the top drawer. When Oliver walked back to him, Elio saw that it was a keychain. Oliver held the keys up in front of him. “I’m going to sound like Edna, but this one,” he said, pointing to the large key “is for the building. And this one is for the apartment.”

“For me?” Elio asked.

“Yes. I want you to feel at home here. You can come and go as you want.”

“Oliver . . . .”

“Too much?” Oliver asked.

“No. I . . . .” Elio shook his head and looked down at his feet. “I can’t believe I get to have this. It’s a little overwhelming. But, good. Perfect.”

Oliver nodded and then gently pulled Elio’s backpack from his shoulders. He forgot he was still wearing it. Oliver opened up the front pocket and dropped the keys in. He then moved to set the backpack under the small table by the door before returning to Elio.

Oliver cupped his face again and said. “It’s still just you and me. Like before.”

Elio turned his head to kiss Oliver’s palm and then lunged desperately for his lips. He caught Oliver off guard, but he quickly caught up and held Elio’s kiss, simultaneously pulling him tight against his body.

Elio whined and wrapped his arms around Oliver’s neck, jumping up and trying to get some friction as he slid back down Oliver’s body.

“This way.” Oliver said. He started walking Elio backwards down the hall. His was the room at the very end. They didn’t stop until they were standing next to Oliver’s bed. Elio could not spare a moment to look around. He quickly pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor.

Oliver pushed him down on the bed and Elio scooted back as Oliver climbed over him. Oliver was supporting his own weight but he dipped down and kissed Elio’s lips and neck and chest. “What do you want, baby?”

“ _You_.” Elio replied, already breathless.

“How do you want me?” Oliver asked.

“Right _now_. Oliver, don’t tease me.” Elio whined.

That seemed to launch Oliver into motion. He started kissing down Elio’s chest until he reached the top of his jeans. Elio was already whimpering and trying to hold himself together as Oliver unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the zipper. Elio lifted his hips to allow Oliver to pull down his jeans and boxers.

He thought he would lose it the moment he felt Oliver’s mouth on him. Within a minute Elio was writhing on the bed, but Oliver was not letting up.

“Oliver . . . ." Elio said, finally understanding the simple question Oliver had asked him. “I want you in me.”

Oliver, who had clearly been trying very hard to follow directions and not tease him could not seem to stop himself from smiling up at Elio before placing one last kiss to his cock. It was so playful and sweet that Elio had to close his eyes tight to keep from letting go.

He could hear Oliver open a drawer to what must be his night stand. And he cooperated as Oliver moved him into a better position with his head resting on a pillow. When he finally opened his eyes he found that Oliver was still fully dressed in a t-shirt and khaki shorts. He reached for Oliver’s shirt and pulled it over his head. Oliver then stood next to the bed to remove his shorts and boxers.

When Oliver laid down on him, covering his body, Elio sighed. “Wait,” he said when he felt Oliver starting to move away.

“What, baby?”

“Just stay here for a second.” Elio said.

“Okay,” Oliver replied, kissing Elio’s ear, his neck.

“I want to be just like this all the time.”

“Yeah?” Oliver smiled. “That might make it hard for you to start school next week.”

“I don’t care.” Elio said. “This is all I’ve wanted for so long.”

“You can have it whenever you want.” Oliver said. “There are no limits anymore.”

Elio nodded and a tear fell from his left eye.

“Oh, Elio.” Oliver kissed the tear away.

“No, _no_. Don’t say, ‘Oh, Elio’ or I’ll keep crying. I’m happy, really. So happy.”

Oliver laughed. “Me too, baby. I’ll take care of you, okay?”

Elio nodded and watched Oliver as he sat back on his heels, put lube on his fingers, lifted Elio’s legs, and then started opening him up. He kept his eyes on Oliver for as long as he could, but it quickly became impossible to concentrate.

The next thing he was aware of was the slight pain of Oliver pushing in, which slowly gave way to pleasure once he was fully seated. He heard Oliver sigh and it brought him back to the moment. He was here in New York with _Oliver_.

Elio knew what Oliver liked. He liked to take Elio apart slowly, piece by piece. But Elio did not have the self-control or patience for that right now, and as Oliver started moving within him, starting slowly and then quickly picking up the pace, he realized Oliver didn’t either.

As Oliver rocked into him, Elio wrapped his legs around him, trying to pull him in even closer, so there was no space between them. Each time Oliver pulled back, Elio was desperate to have him close again. He wasn’t going to last long, but based on the sounds Oliver was making, he seemed to be right there with him.

Elio was close to coming untouched, so the second Oliver started stroking his cock, he was coming. With a few more thrusts, his boyfriend followed. His _boyfriend_.

Oliver collapsed on top of him, finally letting Elio take the full weight of his body. He was heavy, but Elio felt safe and comforted by the weight. He could feel Oliver’s deep breaths against his neck.

It was a long moment before Oliver raised his head from Elio’s neck and looked up at him. He wasn’t smiling. He had a more thoughtful look on his face. But Elio could still tell he was happy. Maybe more at ease than he had ever seen him. He raised his head from the pillow just enough to give Oliver a quick kiss.

Oliver then got up quickly and tied the condom off and left his room. He returned a short time later with a towel and cleaned Elio up. After disappearing down the hall again, he returned shortly, and climbed back into bed, snuggling against Elio’s side. Elio propped himself up a little on the pillows and freed an arm to wrap around Oliver’s shoulder.With the other, he gently skimmed his fingers up and down Oliver’s arms.

The secret that Elio knew and selfishly hoped no one else had ever discovered was that Oliver liked to snuggle after sex. He’d learned that after their very first time together.

Elio kissed the side of his head and said, “I love you.”

“Love you,” Oliver replied, speaking right into Elio’s shoulder where his face was pressed.

Elio woke up some time later to the feeling of Oliver placing kisses to that same shoulder and periodically whispering his name. It was obvious he was trying to wake him up, but as gently as possible.

Elio squirmed a little, feeling where Oliver had been inside of him, and lifted his arms above his head to stretch.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” Oliver said. “And I thought it might be better for you to be a little tired now and go to sleep at a normal time tonight. That’s the best way I know how to fight jet lag.”

Elio laughed. “The best way you know how to fight jet lag is to fall asleep face first on a twin bed half your size.”

Without warning, Oliver reached out and started tickling him, starting with his arm pits and then going for his sides. “Oh, I see. The niceties are over and the mocking begins.”

“Stop, stop,” Elio pleaded. “I’ll get up!”

“Good,” Oliver said, standing up and reaching out a hand to pull Elio up. “I got some bagels from my favorite place. Maybe we can have that as a light lunch and then order dinner later?”

“Sounds good,” Elio said. They each pulled their boxers on and then Elio followed Oliver down the hall to the kitchen. The kitchen itself was quite small, but right next to it was a large round wooden table that included a high chair and a plastic booster seat. “Are the boys with their mom this week?”

“Yeah. Rachel actually has them until next Friday. With you moving and school starting, that seemed easiest.” Oliver had a paper bag with bagels in his left hand and was rummaging through the fridge with his right.

“Well, I don’t want to change your plans.”

“No, no. We’re just continuing our Summer rotation a little later. I’m all yours this week except for Simon’s preschool orientation on Wednesday and I was planning to take the boys out for ice cream on Thursday afternoon. But I’m sure you’ll be busy getting ready for school.”

Elio smiled and nodded while Oliver brought food to the table where he was sitting. There was something a little strange about the way Oliver was talking. He didn’t seem as calm and confident as usual. He seemed kind of nervous and Elio wanted to reassure him, but he didn’t know what to say and whatever had come over Oliver quickly passed.

They ate their bagels with cream cheese. Elio hadn’t realized how hungry he was and he ate quickly. Oliver did too and then moved their dishes to the sink. When he came back to the table, he held out his hand to Elio again. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”

Elio took his hand and stood up.

“This is the kitchen,” Oliver said, motioning toward it. “Feel free to use anything or eat anything. We can go grocery shopping tomorrow and get some stuff you like. I tried to get some things before you got here, but then I realized everything I know you like is a Mafalda specialty.”

He turned and motioned back towards the table. “You saw the dining room. It’s usually either messy from the boys or with my papers, because I work here more often than at my desk. You can use the desk if you prefer.”

Elio didn’t know what to say to that. The way Oliver was making space for him in his life was more than he had ever dreamed of. He just swallowed and nodded.

“Living room . . . phone . . . TV.” He pointed at each quickly and then pulled Elio down the hall, stopping at the first doorway on the left. “This is the boys’ room.”

Elio let go of Oliver’s hand and walked in. There was a changing table right inside the door and then a small bed to the left and a crib on the right. There was a big window, as in the living room, and a rocking chair and toy chest under it. He had only seen pictures of the boys, but he could imagine them in this room.

Oliver stood in the door watching him and after he was done looking around, he followed him back to the hall. They stopped at the next door on the left, which was the bathroom. It was nondescript, aside from the basket of brightly colored toys sitting next to the large bathtub.

They then made it to Oliver’s room at the end of the hall. Elio looked around, taking in Oliver’s space. He was about to turn back to Oliver when he spotted the Juilliard sweatshirt hanging over a chair by the window. “What is this?” Elio asked.

“Oh,” Oliver smiled. “When I saw you’d stolen my Columbia sweatshirt, I stopped by the Juilliard bookstore. I was going to get one just for you, but I decided to get a larger size, so we can share it. They had some baby stuff, too, and it was all so adorable that I got Simon a sweatshirt and a onesie for Noah.”

Elio walked quickly to Oliver, leaned into him and rested his forehead on Oliver’s chest.

“I want everyone to know how proud we are of you.” Oliver said, wrapping his arms around Elio’s body.

“Thank you," Elio said. "And I didn’t _steal_ your Columbia sweatshirt. I simply borrowed it without asking, but I brought it with me. It’s in one of my duffel bags.”

“Well, maybe you’ll share it with me.” Oliver said.


	3. Meet My Friend Elio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio meets Oliver's sons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished this one faster than expected and wanted to share. Hope you enjoy it!

Oliver’s life had changed so dramatically in the last month he hardly recognized it. He returned from Italy with a boyfriend and a future that hadn’t been there before. Back in New York, he had set about keeping the promise he had made to Elio. Their relationship would not be a secret.

He had wasted no time, stopping at Rachel’s on the way home from the airport. He arrived in time to hug his boys tight, give them both a bath, and put them to bed. He then walked slowly back to the living room to talk to Rachel.

Ending their marriage had been a mutual decision, and they had remained friendly throughout the process, but it was only now, many months later, that they were returning to something that resembled real friendship. She’d known something was up from the first time he called from Italy to talk to the boys and she teased him now for the smile he couldn’t hide.

When he told her about Elio, she wasn’t altogether surprised. She knew he had slept with men in college. She was happy for him and immediately started asking when she could meet Elio. He laughed with relief. “He’s not even here yet and I’m not having you scare him away instantly!”

The conversation then turned to the other people in Oliver’s life, especially his parents. They weren’t really speaking to him anyway, not that they had made much of an effort to see their grandchildren before the divorce. It felt ridiculous to call them up now only to give them a reason to never talk to him again.

Rachel’s advice, which he didn’t ask for but gratefully accepted, was to tell the people who needed to know and then live his life. He told the friends he spoke to most often and asked them to tell other friends.

At work, where he and his colleagues were coming in to their offices more and more to prepare for a new academic year, he told the younger cohort of professors he was friendly with. He’d never talked to the old guard about Rachel, so it would be weird to talk to them about Elio, but everyone knew the chair of the department had been living with his partner for 30 years, so Oliver was not concerned about anyone finding out he had a boyfriend.

The time between when Oliver returned home from Italy and Elio arrived in New York was busy. Simon turned 4 and they had a party for him in the park. Oliver’s proposal had been accepted to teach a new class this Fall called _Heraclitus and His Influence_ , which required all new lectures. This was his first time designing his own course and he needed it to be a success. He called the villa almost every afternoon to talk to Elio before he went to bed.

The nights, after he finished his work and the boys were asleep, felt lonely in a way they hadn’t before Oliver had gone back to Italy. Elio belonged here with him now and he couldn’t wait until he arrived. He was almost giddy by the time he was on his way to the airport to pick him up. He couldn’t hide his smile and he saw no reason to.

The week he had with Elio before they both started school was perfect. They spent a good portion of it, especially the first few days, alone in Oliver’s apartment, but slowly they made their way out into the world and Oliver took Elio to all his favorite restaurants, museums, and bookstores.

They didn’t get Elio unpacked and settled into his own space until the end of that week. Oliver didn’t like the idea of Elio sleeping there when he could be with him, but when Elio suggested he stay at his own place the night before his first day at Juilliard, Oliver had held his tongue. Thankfully, Elio stayed with him all the nights that followed.

As they ate dinner together that Thursday, Oliver reminded Elio that he was picking up the boys after work the next day and he’d have them for the week.

He wanted to give Elio time to really get settled in New York before he introduced two toddlers to his life. They’d had so much time together just the two of them, but the boys were a 24-hour responsibility and . . . . And _every_ time he brought them up it seemed to make things a little awkward between him and Elio. Oliver knew _he_ was probably the one making it awkward, but he couldn’t read Elio’s reaction and it was making him nervous.

Rachel had warned him not to overthink this when he asked how he should talk to the boys about Elio. Noah was too young to understand, but he’d talked to Simon about his friend Elio who they would be spending a lot of time with.

Elio had seemed surprised at the sudden realization that he would be spending every night at his own place while Oliver had the boys. He asked when he would see him and they made plans to get lunch a couple times that week. Elio did not seem satisfied with this, but he didn’t argue.

When Oliver called Saturday night after he had put the boys to bed, Elio couldn’t talk long because he was meeting classmates at a bar. When Oliver called Sunday, Elio seemed pretty cheerful, but the conversation took a turn near the end when he said, “I miss you, Oliver.” Oliver tried to comfort him, but Elio was very quiet after that.

They met for lunch on Monday. Elio still seemed down. He smiled, but at some effort. Oliver couldn’t bring himself to ask what was wrong. He _knew_ what was wrong. They hugged before rushing off to their separate campuses, but they didn’t have the time or space for any kind of real intimacy. Oliver didn’t call that night. It was late before he could get Simon to sleep, and he used that as his excuse.

They spoke daily after that and met again for lunch on Wednesday, but everything felt off and there was a distance between them. Oliver couldn’t tell whether Elio was sad or angry at him. Every conversation ended with promises about Friday. Elio would come over as soon as he was finished with school and they would have the entire weekend together.

On Thursday they met for drinks before Oliver went to pick up his boys from daycare. By the time Elio was able to reach the bar near Columbia where Oliver was waiting, they only had 45 minutes together. They talked about everything except how they felt getting so little time together, having barely been able to touch all week. It was harder seeing Elio, having him so close and not even being able to kiss him.

But Elio seemed okay until they were saying goodbye in front of the bar. When Oliver hugged him, he buried his face in Oliver’s chest and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt.

When Oliver moved to pull away, Elio clung to him. “ _Oliver_ ,” he said.

Oliver froze. He didn’t move and he didn’t know what to say. He felt as helpless as he had that day at the train station and he thought he’d never have to feel that way again.

When Elio finally let go, Oliver could see that his eyes were red, but he wouldn’t make direct eye contact. He was trying not to cry and it broke Oliver’s heart.

“I’m sorry.” Oliver said. “I’m so sorry, baby. I have to go.”

Elio just nodded.

Oliver barely slept that night. He didn’t understand what was happening or how things seemed to have fallen apart so quickly when he’d been so confident in everything before. What was worse was that they weren’t talking about it. Not really. And he’d never wanted to do that to Elio again.

He woke up the next morning after a few hours of sleep determined to make everything right with Elio that night. He was nervous, but his mood steadily improved as he got closer to the end of his work day.

Oliver was done with his classes and meetings and office hours by 4pm, and sitting at his desk grading papers when his office phone rang. He was expecting it to be the department secretary, but it was Rachel.

“Oliver, I’m stuck at work. Is there any way you can pick up the boys? I tried my sister and Julie and Megan. No one can get to daycare before it closes and you know how Simon gets when we’re late. I can ask my assistant, but I really don’t want to send a stranger.”

Oliver’s heart sunk as the Friday night he had promised Elio slipped away. But there was only one answer. “I’ll get them,” he said.

“You will? Thank you, Oliver. I’m sure you have plans with Elio and I wouldn’t ask if there was anyone else—.”

“I know,” he said.

“Well, thank you. I owe you.” She said. “I don’t know when I’ll be out of here. I can call you when I know more.”

“Okay,” Oliver said. His mind raced as he hung up the phone. Elio was at school and there was no way to reach him before he would arrive at Oliver’s apartment. He didn’t have the heart to tell Elio he couldn’t see him anyway.

Oliver grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair, packed the books and papers he needed, and left his office in a hurry. He picked the boys up from daycare and stopped quickly at the bodega on the corner. He had been planning to shop for everything he needed to cook Elio dinner, but instead he bought only beer and ice cream. He would order pizza for dinner.

Oliver knew his agitation was obvious, because he could see it reflected in his oldest son. Oliver could feel Simon watching him, being careful with the questions he asked. He tried to project calm, but he couldn’t fool a four year old.

He and Simon both jumped when they heard the key in the door. Oliver had encouraged Elio to let himself into the apartment when he had first knocked even though he had a key.

Oliver froze in front of the door, Noah playing on the floor in the living room behind him and Simon hugging his leg.

Elio’s smile only faltered for a second when he walked in and saw Oliver standing there and then noticed his sons. “Hi” he said.

“Hey,” Oliver replied, trying to hide his nerves. “Slight change of plans.” He lifted Simon into his arms. “This is my friend Elio I told you about. Can you say hi?”

"Hi," Simon said.

“Hello,” Elio said with a smile. “What’s your name?”

“Simon! I’m four. I just had my birthday. I _was_ three.”

Elio laughed and it made something snap in Oliver’s chest. He set Simon down on the floor.

“Did you have fun at your birthday party?” Elio asked Simon.

“Yes! All my friends were there and daddy and mommy and Nohy. It was at the park with the _big_ slide. It’s too big for Nohy, but now I’m big, so I can go on it. I wasn’t scared.”

“I’m sure you weren’t.” Elio said. “That sounds like a lot of fun!

Oliver was lost in this surreal moment of watching Elio talk to his son. When he came back to reality, he saw the door was still partially open and Elio was still wearing his backpack. Oliver moved quickly to shut and lock the door and then pulled the backpack from Elio’s shoulders. “Do you want a drink?” He asked.

“If you’re having one,” Elio answered.

Oliver nodded and went to the kitchen to grab a beer for each of them. If his senses were functioning normally, he could have anticipated what was going to happen the minute he heard Simon ask Elio, “Want to see how fast I can run?”

Before Elio even answered, Oliver heard Simon moving around the living room and then the predictable thump of Noah hitting the floor and the immediate cry. By the time Oliver made it back to the living room, Elio was picking Noah up.

“I’m sorry, Nohy.” Simon said, reaching for his little brother.

Elio crouched down to Simon with Noah in his arms. Noah had already calmed down, but there were tears on his face. “He’s okay. I think you just startled him.”

“Startled?” Simon said.

“Yes, he didn’t see you coming.”

“Everything okay?” Oliver asked, though he could see it was.

“Yes,” Elio smiled. “Just a few tears.” He bounced Noah in his arms and made a face at him. Noah smiled and reached for Elio’s curls.

Oliver set the beers down on the coffee table. “Pizza’s on the way,” he said.

“Pizza!” Simon yelled and ran another lap around the living room.

Oliver sat down on the couch. Elio gently worked to release the fistful of curls that Noah was now holding and then sat down next to Oliver with Noah in his lap.

“Want me to take him?” Oliver asked.

Elio smiled and shook his head.

“Rachel got stuck at work, so we have the boys for at least a couple hours. I would have called you, but it was too late when I found out and I didn’t know how to reach—.”

“Oliver, it’s okay,” Elio said. “Are you okay?”

Oliver didn’t know how to answer. He was feeling too much to make sense of any of it and now his baby boy was on Elio’s lap. He just nodded and relaxed a bit more into the couch.

The pizza arrived and they ate at the dining room table. Simon was chewing his pizza slowly while he watched Elio closely. Elio didn’t seem to be aware he was being studied, but tried to keep up a steady stream of conversation with Simon. He asked about his new preschool, his friends, and his favorite playgrounds.

Rachel called right as they were moving on to ice cream. She was still stuck at the office, so Oliver suggested they keep the boys overnight and bring them to her place in the morning. She honed in on his use of _we_ immediately and asked if Elio was there. “Yes,” Oliver answered. “Turns out I overthought it. Who could have guessed that would happen? Night. See you tomorrow, probably about 10.” He hung up the phone before Rachel could say anything more.

“Simon, mommy has to work tonight, so you’re going to stay here. You’ll see her tomorrow morning, okay?”

“Okay!” Simon said, digging into his ice cream.

Once they were done, Elio helped him clear the dishes and then lifted Noah out of his high chair. He fussed for a moment and then rested his little head on Elio’s shoulder. He was tired. Oliver finished cleaning up the kitchen, but he could hear as Simon ran back and forth between his room and the living room, bringing his favorite toys to show Elio.

Noah was nearly asleep on Elio’s shoulder when Oliver joined them a few minutes later. “I need to get them ready for bed,” he said.

“I can help.”

Oliver nodded. “Time for jammies, Simon.”

They all went into the boys’ room and Oliver instructed Elio to set Noah down on the changing table and remove his clothes. He pulled the Juilliard onesie out of the drawer and grabbed a fresh diaper. Noah fussed at being put down, but was mostly still as Elio removed his overalls and shirt.

“You ready to change a diaper?” Oliver asked. “It’s an easy one. I think he only peed.”

“Yes.” Elio answered.

“Okay.” Oliver said, pointing to the new diaper. “Be careful. Sometimes he goes as soon as you take the diaper off.” Elio seemed to take that warning seriously and quickly removed the diaper Noah was wearing and replaced it. He looked to Oliver for confirmation as he put the new one on. “Yeah, that’s right.”

While Elio got Noah dressed, Oliver helped Simon change into his dinosaur pajamas. He then took him down the hall to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth. When they got back he said. “Simon, can you show Elio the stories you want to read while I put Noah to sleep?”

Simon lit up at that. Elio passed Noah to Oliver. While Oliver paced around the room with Noah, he could hear Simon in the living room telling Elio all about his books. Noah was asleep within minutes and Oliver put him down in the crib and turned off the lights.

He found Elio and Simon on the couch, Elio already reading one of the stories. Oliver turned off some of the lights and joined them on the couch. Simon climbed into his lap and he held him while Elio read. They made it through two and a half stories before Simon was asleep. Oliver carried him into his room and put him down on his bed.

When he returned to the living room, he found Elio in the kitchen drinking a glass of water. He offered the glass to Oliver and he took a long drink. “Let’s sit down,” Elio said. He went back to the couch and waited for Oliver to sit down next to him.

When he did, Elio asked again: “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Oliver answered. “This is just not how any of this was supposed to happen.”

“Me meeting your sons?” Elio asked. “How did you want it to happen? Or did you not want it to?”

“I wanted you to meet them, Elio. It’s something I’ve thought about since they were born.”

“Really?” Elio asked. That seemed to shatter the composure with which he’d been asking his questions.

“Yes,” Oliver said. “I didn’t mean to fuck everything up. I’m sorry.”

“Oliver,” Elio said. He opened his arms and Oliver fell into him, his face landing against Elio’s chest. Elio draped his arms around Oliver’s shoulders. “You didn’t fuck it up. I hated this week, but we’ll be okay.”

“Oliver huffed a breath of relief into Elio’s chest and wrapped his arms around his small torso.

They were silent for a while and then Oliver said, “I love seeing you with my boys.”

“I loved meeting them, Oliver. They’re adorable. I don’t know how you stand it. I hope to spend a lot of time with you and your boys.”

Oliver lifted his face to look up at Elio. “Yeah?” he said.

Elio held his face and ran his thumbs gently across Oliver’s cheeks. “Of course. I love you. There’s no part of your life I don’t want to be part of.”

“I wanted to give you that, but I panicked about what I was asking when you’re already getting used to a new city and starting a new program.”

Elio skimmed his thumbs under Oliver’s eyes. “You look exhausted.”

“I couldn’t sleep last night. I felt like everything was falling apart.”

“Everything’s okay. We’ll talk more tomorrow. For now, I just want to kiss you.”

Oliver sat up a little at that. He let Elio bring their lips together and sighed with relief as Elio deepened the kiss. When Oliver tried to pull back a few seconds later, Elio whined, “Oliver, _no_.”

Oliver took hold of Elio’s wrists. “Simon is a light sleeper. It’s okay if he sees us kiss, but he doesn’t need to see his dad making out with _anyone_. We’ll go to my room.”

Elio nodded and stood up. He grabbed his backpack from where it was sitting by the door and quietly headed down the hall. Oliver turned off the rest of the lights in the living room and followed.

They performed the short nighttime routine they’d developed since Elio had arrived in New York, each taking their turn in the bathroom. Elio was already in bed when Oliver closed the door and joined him. He had removed his jeans, but was still wearing boxers and a t-shirt. Oliver took off his khakis and draped them over a chair, along with his button down. He hesitated for a second and then removed his t-shirt and joined Elio in bed.

As soon as he stretched out on the bed, Elio climbed on top of him, swinging one thigh over Oliver’s hips to straddle him. “Off, off, off, off, off,” Oliver said, lifting the hem of Elio’s t-shirt. Elio laughed softly and lifted his arms so Oliver could pull the t-shirt over his head. “Is this mine?” He asked.

“No, I have my own collection of Harvard t-shirts that are two sizes too big.”

Oliver tickled his sides and watched as Elio gasped breathlessly. He gave in before Elio could beg for mercy and cupped his face, pulling him down into a kiss. “We have to,” kiss, “be very,” kiss, “quiet,” kiss.

Elio grinned. “Let’s see how quiet you can be,” he said, kissing Oliver’s lips one last time before working his way down his neck, his chest. He stopped for a second at his nipples and Oliver controlled his voice, but couldn’t stop his hips from bucking.

Elio looked up at him and smirked before continuing down his body, kissing his stomach, and then pausing at the waistband of his boxers. Oliver moved his hands to Elio’s hair. He could feel Elio’s breath so close to his cock and he didn’t know how he was going to stay quiet.

Then he heard a small voice outside the door. “Daddy?”

Elio froze and looked up at Oliver. Oliver let go of Elio’s hair and covered his face with his hands. He just needed one second and then he was in motion again. He sat up, gave Elio a quick kiss, and moved him to the other side of the bed. He adjusted himself and then went to the door.

He opened it to find his oldest son standing there with his favorite stuffed animal, a teddy bear dressed as a fireman. “What’s wrong, buddy?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Do you want me to read you another story?”

“Can I sleep in here with you?” Simon asked.

He hesitated just for a moment and then picked Simon up in his arms. “Elio will be here with us, okay?”

Simon nodded. Despite being unable to sleep, he looked very tired. Oliver carried him to the bed and set him down. “Hi, Ewio,” Simon said.

Elio had put on the Juilliard sweatshirt and the only sign that anything was amiss was the way his curls stuck out in every direction. “Hi Simon. You couldn’t sleep?”

Simon shook his head dramatically and climbed under the covers Elio held up for him.

It was less than a minute later that Oliver thought he heard whimpering from the other room and then there was a loud cry. “I was worried that would happen,” he said.

“I’ll get him.” Elio jumped up. Disappearing down the hall, he returned quickly with Noah in his arms. He had stopped crying, but was gripping tightly to Elio’s neck.

Elio sat down on the bed and hugged the little boy close. He looked over at Oliver.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Oliver asked. He meant it as a joke, but sounded serious. Maybe he _was_ serious.

Elio smiled at him and nodded.


	4. Can I Hold Elio's Hand?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio wakes up to life with Oliver and his boys.

Elio woke up alone in Oliver’s bed. It took him a moment to remember where he was, but then he heard the sound of Oliver’s voice carrying down the hall. Even from a distance, that voice got to him. He smiled into his pillow for a moment and then stretched before getting up.

“Hi, baby,” Oliver said as Elio made his way out into the main part of the apartment. He was standing in front of the stove, holding Noah in his left arm and a spatula in his right. “Take a seat and I’ll bring you some coffee.”

Elio grinned at the sight. His boyfriend was dressed in boxers and a t-shirt, his hair sticking up, his son on his arm, and he was cooking breakfast. When Elio noticed Simon watching him from his seat at the table, he sunk into a chair and tried to control his face.

“How did you sleep?” Elio asked. He had no idea how to talk to kids, but so far Simon had made it pretty easy. Any question could get him talking.

“Good! When I woke up, daddy said ‘ _shhhhh,_ Ewio is still _sleeping_.’” Simon held a finger up to his lips to make the shushing sign.

Elio laughed. “And were you quiet?”

“Yes! I sneaked out very quietly. Daddy said Nohy was attached to you like a barkle. What’s a barkle?”

“A _barn-a-cle_ , bud.” Oliver said, bringing Elio his coffee.

“Oh, hey. I can take him,” Elio gestured to Noah.

“Thanks,” Oliver replied, transferring his youngest to Elio. “Pour some Cheerios on the table and he’ll eat them.”

Elio got Noah settled in his lap and then picked up the large box of Cheerios to pour some on the table. Noah reached for them instantly, picking up Cheerios with both hands and shoving them into his mouth. Elio wondered if he’d get used to these adorable things.

Looking back up at Simon, who was still watching him closely, Elio said, “A barnacle is an organism that lives on rocks and I think some sea life. It attaches to something else and doesn’t let go.”

“What’s an orgamism?” Simon asked.

“A living thing?” Elio said, uncertain. He’d have to see how Oliver answered these questions. He knew his own dad would know what to say.

Thankfully, he was saved from having to answer any more questions about sea life by Oliver setting a plate of pancakes down in front of Simon. “Wait a minute and I’ll cut them for you.” Oliver returned to the table with a plate for Elio and one for himself.

“Finish your banana before pancakes,” Oliver said.

“But daddy, I don’t like it.”

“Two more pieces.” Oliver replied. “I’ll eat the rest.”

Simon picked up the banana slices, closed his eyes tight, and swallowed them down with a grimace. Elio tried not to laugh at the dramatics. He hid his smile behind Noah’s head of blond hair.

By the time breakfast was over, everything seemed to be covered in syrup, including the two boys. Oliver picked up both of them and carried them to the bathtub, saying, “I can’t return them to Rachel like this.”

They got the boys dressed and finally made it out of the apartment forty minutes later. Oliver held Noah in his arms and Simon walked on his own with an adorable little backpack on his back. Once they were out of the building and Simon started hopping down the steps, Oliver said, “Simon, you know the rules. You need to hold my hand when we’re on the street.”

“Can I hold Ewio’s hand?” Simon asked.

“You’ll have to ask him, buddy.” Oliver answered.

“Ewio,” Simon said, looking up at Elio. “Can I hold your hand? Daddy says it’s okay.”

Elio tried to hide his smile again by biting his lips. He nodded and held his hand out to Simon.

Rachel lived only a few blocks away, but it was slow going. Finally, Oliver handed Elio the baby and picked up Simon to walk the last block. By the time they made it into the elevator of Rachel’s building, Elio noticed a change in Simon. He’d become quiet and was resting his head on his dad’s shoulder, Oliver talking quietly to him. “You’ll spend the week with mommy, and then I’ll pick you up from daycare on Friday, okay?”

“Can I sleep in your bed then?” Simon asked. When Oliver hesitated, he said, “ _Please_ , daddy.”

“Okay, okay,” Oliver said, kissing the top of Simon’s head. “Be good for mommy, okay?

Simon nodded and hid his face against Oliver’s shoulder.

Elio had always tried to avoid thinking about Oliver’s wife. It made him feel bad to do so and then he always felt worse, because it wasn’t her fault she got what he wanted. She’d only started to become a real person to him since they had reunited, but he was confused by Oliver’s warnings.

The minute she opened the door and said enthusiastically, “My babies!” and then “Oh, Elio! So great to meet you!” even though Elio knew she had been up all night working, he started to understand. It was probably a good thing he’d never seen a picture of her, because she was stunning. Tall and thin with long wavy light-brown hair. Gold-rimmed reading glasses that she had clearly pushed up from her face were now holding back her hair.

Noah let go of Elio’s shirt and reached for his mom. She pulled him into her arms and then gave Elio a one-armed hug. “Come in, come in. Elio, how are you liking New York?”

“I like it!” He said, trying to return some of her enthusiasm.

“And how’s Juilliard?” She asked. “Do you guys want anything to drink? I just made coffee.”

“No, I’m okay. Thank you.” Elio replied. “Um . . . it’s intense. But, I like it.”

“I’d love to hear you play some day. I’m sure you’re amazing!”

“He is,” Oliver said.

“What’s amazing?” Simon asked from Oliver’s arms.

“Elio is an amazing piano player. Remember, I told you he plays piano?”

“Yeah,” Simon said. “I want to see.”

Elio didn’t know what to say, but thankfully Oliver answered. “You will, buddy.”

“Rachel,” Elio said. “Um . . . is everything okay at work?” He was just trying to say _something_.

“Yes,” Rachel said. “Thank you for asking. A new client my boss wanted me to take on. We inherited the case from another firm, so there’s a lot to do in getting up to speed. I’m so sorry I interfered with your plans last night. I’m sure you guys wanted to spend some time together.”

“No, it’s okay.” Elio said. “I was happy to meet the boys finally!”

“Well, thank you. You both were lifesavers.”

It happened so quickly that Elio almost missed it. Oliver silently caught Rachel’s attention and motioned towards Simon in his arms. Rachel quickly went to set Noah down in the living room, pulling out a bin of large blocks that he instantly reached for. She then went back to Oliver and reached for Simon. “Hi, baby. I missed you.” Simon went willingly into his mother’s arms. She supported his weight with one arm and gently smoothed down his hair with her other hand.

“We should get going,” Oliver said. He walked over to where Noah was playing, bent down, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He then returned to Rachel and kissed the top of Simon’s head. “I’ll see you Friday, okay buddy?”

“Bye daddy.” Simon said quietly.

“Bye. I love you.” Oliver made a move towards the door.

“Wuv you.”

“Can you say goodbye to Elio?” Rachel asked Simon.

“Bye Ewio.”

“Goodbye,” Elio said, looking from Simon to Rachel to Noah and then to Oliver. Oliver grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the door.

“Bye, Elio. So great to meeting you!” Rachel said.

“Nice to meet you too. Thank you!” By the time he got the words out, Oliver had pulled him out the door.

Oliver said over his shoulder to Rachel, “Call if you need anything,” and then closed the door behind himself.

“That’s the worst part,” He said, taking Elio’s hand as he walked toward the elevator.

“Was Simon upset?” Elio asked.

“He has a hard time with the transitions. The way we normally do it, where one of us drops them off at daycare on Friday and the other picks them up, seems to work better for him. We just try to make sure he knows what’s going to happen.”

“I’m sorry,” Elio said.

“It’s okay,” Oliver replied, but he was quiet on the elevator ride down and for at least the first block of their walk. Finally, he broke the silence by saying, “Hey, I was thinking . . . I want to stop by the grocery store, so I can cook you the dinner I was planning on cooking you last night. And then let’s go home. Unless . . . is there anything you need to do today?”

Elio shook his head. “No. I have homework, but it can wait until tomorrow.”

“Okay, we’ll work tomorrow and take today for ourselves.” Oliver said, pulling Elio into the grocery store. Oliver quickly grabbed everything they needed, including another jar of Nutella for Elio. “It can be hard to find here,” he said. “But this store always has it.”

“Do you think the boys would like it?” Elio asked.

“I don’t know. If Simon knows you like it, then probably.”

“Why do you say that?” Elio asked.

“He was studying you closely. Last night you picked some of the pepperoni off your pizza, so he did too. This morning, I think he didn’t want the banana anymore, because you weren’t having any.”

“Oh, god. What will I do with all this power?”

“Don’t let it go to your head!” Oliver laughed. “Are sandwiches okay for lunch? I was thinking BLTs. I’ve got some bacon at home, tomato and lettuce here, and we’ll grab some bread on the way to the register.”

“Sounds good.” Elio followed behind as they worked their way through the store. He wanted to reach out and touch Oliver, but knew that would only increase his desire to be alone with him, and he was already desperate.

They each carried a grocery bag the remaining blocks, dutifully putting the groceries away in the kitchen, before Oliver grabbed Elio’s hand again and pulled him toward the couch. He sat down and pulled Elio into his lap. “ _Finally_ ,” he said in a low voice, speaking directly into Elio’s left ear.

Elio shivered as Oliver wrapped his arms around him. He settled himself more fully, straddling Oliver and resting his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, baby. I know I put you through a lot this week.”

“It’s okay,” Elio said. “I mean, it’s okay _now_. I hope you won’t . . . that I can see you when you have the boys. And see them too?”

“Of course. I want you here all the time. I was just being an idiot.” They’d started this conversation the night before, but there was obviously more to be said. Maybe it could wait a little bit longer though.

Elio started kissing up Oliver’s neck. When he reached his mouth, Oliver brought his hands up to Elio’s neck. They made out for several minutes. When Oliver stared moaning into his mouth,Elio slid backwards off his lap and stood in front of him, holding out a hand to pull Oliver up from the couch. He then led him down the hall to the bedroom.

He wanted to pick up where they had left off the night before, so he quickly removed his own shirt and jeans, and then pulled Oliver’s shirt over his head and unbuttoned his shorts. Oliver watched him closely, but let Elio take the lead, stepping out of his shorts as Elio pulled them off.

Elio then pushed Oliver until he was laying on the bed and Elio was straddling him again. He kissed his lips briefly and then his jaw, neck, collarbone, chest, and stomach. Elio felt the speed of Oliver’s breaths increase as he moved down. But Oliver was quiet until Elio was teasing at the waistband of his boxers. Then he said only, “ _Elio_ ,” which was the closest he got to begging.

With a quick kiss through the fabric of his boxers, Elio then started pulling them down. Oliver cooperated by lifting his hips to make it easier. With such long legs, it was an effort to pull the boxers all the way off.

Elio decided to take Oliver by surprise by quickly moving back into position and taking as much of him in his mouth as he could. “Oh, God. _Fuck_.” Oliver responded, moving his hands quickly to Elio’s curls. Oliver gripped his hair firmly, but gently, not directing Elio’s actions, but grounding himself.

It was a pleasure to feel Oliver lose control and know that he was causing it. Elio skimmed his fingers up and down the outside of Oliver’s thighs and felt them shake. He pulled off him for a moment to kiss the inside of his thighs and nuzzle him, before he took his cock back in his mouth. Despite being far more experienced now, he still couldn’t take all of Oliver, so he held the rest in his hand.

He had to pull back a second when Oliver bucked his hips. “Sorry, _sorry_. Oh, _fuck_.” Elio placed a quick kiss to Oliver’s inner thigh again and then took him back in his mouth. He could soon tell by the sounds Oliver made that he was getting close. When he came, Elio swallowed as much as he could, but quickly found himself being pulled on top of his boyfriend. Oliver was still panting as he came down from his orgasm, but he held on tight to Elio.

Oliver was strong and fast enough that he could switch their positions without Elio doing a thing. That’s how he found himself on his back with Oliver pulling down his boxers. He soon felt the scruff on Oliver’s face rub against his inner thigh and a shock wave went through his body.

It seemed at first that he was taking his time, placing kisses to Elio’s knees, his thighs, the under side of his cock. But then Oliver took him in his mouth and Elio grabbed his boyfriend’s shoulders to try to steady himself and then his hair to try to slow him down.

“Oliver, _Oliver, wait_.”

At that, Oliver pulled back and looked at him. Elio was panting so hard he couldn’t speak right away. Finally, he said, “slow down. I almost . . . .”

Oliver kissed his knee again and skimmed his fingers in a soothing motion over his thighs. “Relax, baby. Just enjoy how it feels. This is not the only time you’re going to come today.”

“It’s not?” It wasn’t a completely innocent question.

Oliver simply shook his head. When Elio gave a slight nod of approval, he continued his work, making Elio come within minutes.

Still coming down from his high, Elio wrapped his arms around Oliver’s shoulder as Oliver snuggled into him. He loved the satisfied little smile on his face. Oliver had been smiling a lot lately, but this smile he only saw when they were intimate.

Elio wanted to talk, but he gave Oliver several minutes to enjoy being held.

“Go ahead, baby.”

“What?” Elio asked.

“You have a particularly loud way of thinking. Go ahead and say it.”

“I see,” Elio said. “You used to compliment my openness and now I’m a _loud thinker._ That’s sweet.”

Oliver laughed. “I love my loud thinking boyfriend. Let me hear what he has to say?”

“I just want you to know . . .” Elio started. “You don’t need to protect me from your real life. I want to know your boys and Rachel. Your family, too, if that’s ever possible.”

“I know. I just want your life with me to be easy, and I know that won’t always be possible, but I wanted to ease you into things and not go straight to Noah barfing on you and Rachel asking you personal questions.”

Elio smiled. “Noah didn’t barf on me. Is that something he does? And Rachel was very nice.”

I wasn’t worried about her being nice. I was worried about her being _too_ nice.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

“She can just be a lot, and she was very excited to meet you.” Oliver answered.

“Why?”

“That’s just her personality and I think . . . I think she . . . . Well, she keeps commenting that she’s never seen me this happy. I think she likes _me_ better since I told her about you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. We remained cordial through the divorce, but it’s been hard rebuilding our friendship since then and without knowing it, you’ve helped.”

“Good,” Elio said. “I want to make your life easier too.”

“You make it so much _better_.”

Elio smiled and was silent for a moment, but there was more he wanted to say. “I love you and I want to be a partner to you, so you can depend on me and trust me to handle whatever happens.”

Oliver pulled himself up to look at Elio. “You think I don’t trust you?”

“I think you’re worried I can’t handle everything, so you’re trying to protect me from it.”

“ _Fuck_. I’m sorry, baby.” Oliver rested his head on Elio again and wrapped his arms around him tighter.

“I know, I know.” Elio soothed.

“I love you, Elio Perlman.”

Elio laughed. “Well, you must mean it if you used my full name.”

After snuggling for a bit longer, Oliver pulled Elio out of bed and led him to the kitchen for lunch. They’d put their boxers back on, but there was no need for anything else. Elio jumped up on the counter while Oliver went about preparing the BLTs. Between each task, he went back to Elio for a kiss.

Elio could hardly believe this was his life now. Not just these moments with Oliver, but this small apartment in New York where he had a future with Oliver and his boys.

After lunch, they lay in bed reading for hours. Oliver remained mostly in the same place while Elio found multiple creative positions, snuggled up to Oliver’s side, laying perpendicular with his head on Oliver’s stomach, asleep on top of Oliver as he continued to read. What he loved most was that there was no rush, no clock, no need to make the most of every precious second. Each time he drifted off, Oliver was there when he woke up.

They had sex again in the late afternoon and then Oliver got started preparing dinner. He gave Elio the important task of opening and pouring the wine. Elio felt bad just watching as Oliver did all the work, but he loved seeing as his boyfriend moved gracefully around the kitchen.

When he asked again if he could help, Oliver said, “Just keep me company. Tell me what I don’t already know about your week.”

“Oh, I met more of the tenants at Edna’s. Jeff is in Room #1. His family is in Connecticut, so he goes home on the weekends. Seems nice, but mostly keeps to himself. Dan lives on the third floor and I listened to some records with him and his girlfriend one night.”

“Was it fun?”

Elio shrugged. “They seemed nice, but I wasn’t really in the mood.”

“How’s school?”

“I didn’t get as much work done as I hoped this week, but Erin and Joey and I are working on a project together for our composition class, so I’m excited about that.”

“Erin plays clarinet and Joey?” Oliver asked.

“He plays everything. Really well, too. It’s kind of annoying.”

Oliver laughed. “You like them?”

“Yeah. There’s a larger group of us that are pretty friendly, but I talk to them the most.”

“Are they . . . together?”

“No, no. I think Joey is straight, but I’m not so sure about Erin.”

“Are you guys going out again soon?” Oliver asked.

“We don’t have any plans to. I mean, a group of them goes out every night it seems, but I don’t have any plans to go with them.” Elio said.

“Why not?”

Elio just stared at Oliver until the silence finally prompted him to turn away from the stove and look at his boyfriend, at which point Elio rolled his eyes.

“What?”

“I haven’t seen you all _week_ , Oliver!”

“Okay, okay,” Oliver said, holding up his hands. “I just want to make sure you have time with your friends.”

“I spend plenty of time with them. Thank you. You sound like my dad.”

“Is that bad? I love your dad.”

“I love him too, but when I was a teenager, he was always trying to get me to spend more time with people my age.”

“And you didn’t want to?” Oliver asked.

“I had a hard time finding people I could relate to.”

“You had a lot of friends in Crema.”

Elio shrugged. “Not really.”

“Well, they all liked you. They were always asking me where you were. That day I asked you to go swimming with me, I’d just been at the lake and multiple people asked me about you.”

Elio blushed. “They were . . . they probably just wanted to talk to you.”

Oliver gave him a weird look. “Listen, I’m sure I’m going to sound exactly like your dad, but I think people like you and are interested in you more than you realize. And I think the fact that you barely give them the time of day only makes them _more_ intrigued.”

He thought about that and he must have been quiet too long, because Oliver said, “Tell me.”

“My father has never said exactly that, but I’ve heard it from friends and . . . people I’ve dated.”

“Yeah?” Oliver said. “Are you ever going to tell me about these people?” He had asked at least twice already and Elio had usually said there was nothing to tell. There wasn’t much.

Elio looked down as he put one foot on top of the other and then looked up at the ceiling for a second before looking back at Oliver. “What do you want to know?”

“Anyone serious?”

“A couple that looked that way at the time, but ultimately . . . no.” He answered.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we acted like it was serious, we went through the motions, but I didn’t _feel_ . . . it wasn’t serious.”

“Men or women?” Oliver asked.

“Mostly men. A couple classmates and then some people I met in the clubs in Milan.”

“Anyone break your heart?”

Elio shook his head.

“Did you break any hearts?”

Elio nodded. “Do we have to talk about this right now?”

“No. Come here, baby. I have to keep stirring this sauce or it will break.” He motioned for Elio to join him in front of the stove. He shuffled towards Oliver until he was close enough for Oliver to wrap an arm around him and kiss the top of his head. “I’d like to know more, but only when you’re ready to tell me, okay? And I meant what I said. I’m an open book to you. If you want to know something, just ask.”

Elio nodded and walked back to where he’d left his wine. Oliver quickly moved the conversation to safer ground and soon he was serving dinner: pork chops, baked potatoes, and broccoli with a sauce of his own recipe drizzled on top. Elio had liked everything Oliver had made him, but this was particularly delicious.

After they finished dinner, they did the dishes, and then settled in on the couch for the Saturday night movie, which they had committed to watching no matter how awful it was. It was cheesy, but they enjoyed it enough to watch the second one as well.

Elio suspected Oliver had fallen asleep when the arm he had draped over his waist grew heavy, but he wasn’t sure until the last movie ended and he sat up and turned around to find his boyfriend’s eyes closed and his mouth slightly open.

“Oliver . . . .” He said quietly, resting a hand on Oliver’s neck and gently skimming his thumb over his cheek. He was so beautiful and it was rare that Elio got to see him at rest like this. He wished he could carry him to bed the way Oliver would for him. “Oliver, baby,” he said and kissed the tip of his boyfriend’s nose.

Oliver blinked his eyes open, struggling against the light of the living room. “Is the movie over?”

“Yes, it’s time for bed. You go get ready and I’ll turn everything off in here.”

Oliver got up slowly and started walking toward the kitchen. “I’ll get your glass of water,” Elio said, jumping up and steering a sleepy Oliver toward the hall. He always liked to have a glass of water on his bedside table.

Elio checked to be sure the front door was locked, turned off the lights in the living room, grabbed a glass of water for Oliver, and followed his boyfriend down the hall. By the time they settled in bed, Oliver was a little more awake. Elio cuddled up to him and Oliver reached a long arm to turn off the only remaining light.

“What work do you have tomorrow?” Elio asked.

“I need to finish grading papers and go over my notes for my lectures this week, and then I’m working on an article that would be like a preview of the new book. I’m hoping it will work as the first chapter too. What about you?”

“Mostly a lot of reading and then I should probably book some practice time in the afternoon.”

“I wish we had a piano here for you.”

Elio smiles into the dark. “I don’t know. You might distract me.”

“I would be very good,” Oliver said.

Elio laughed and a comfortable silence stretched between them before he asked: “Did you . . . were you with many people after the divorce?”

“Two,” Oliver answered. “Nothing serious. I didn’t want anything serious.”

“Men?” Elio asked.

“Yes. One I met at a conference and another I met at a bar.”

“When was this?”

“Earlier this year after the divorce was final.” Oliver answered.

“Was there anyone after me? Before you got married?”

“No.”

“No?” Elio asked. “Why not?”

“I didn’t want anyone else.” Oliver answered.

Elio nodded. “I wasn’t with anyone for a year. Not until I started at the conservatory.” Oliver didn’t say anything, but Elio felt his hand on his back. “Then I . . . made up for lost time.”

Oliver laughed and pulled him closer.

“I kept trying to have something casual, but then it would always turn into a relationship, and it seemed that . . . .” Elio trailed off.

“What?”

“I would always end up in these situations where _they_ felt things that I didn’t feel. They were good people and interesting and good looking. I just . . . I didn’t feel it. I started to think I was broken.”

“No, no, no,” Oliver said.

“There was a violinist at the conservatory. We dated for a couple months and then I broke up with him when he told me he loved me. Later I dated one of my dad’s students. That lasted a year.”

“Another of the Summer students?”

“ _No_. An undergraduate at the university in Milan. But he did come to the villa with us a couple times, including most of a Summer. We said that we loved each other, and if I had never met you, I would have believed it. I did try, but he was very angry with me when I ended things.

“When was this?” Oliver asked.

“About a year ago. Last Fall. I decided after that not to date for a while. There was no one for me in Italy.”

“Oh,” Oliver said, his hands quickly tickling Elio’s sides. “But you’re going to keep looking in New York?”

Elio gasped with surprise and laughter. “No, I love you. I love you.”

Oliver relented. “Good. I love you too. And you’re not broken. Don’t try to debate me on that.”

Elio smiled into his pillow and twisted his body so that he was positioned as Oliver’s little spoon. Oliver pulled the covers up to their shoulders, repositioned his arm around Elio, and pulled him back against his chest. “Do you have what you need to stay here this week?”

“No. I'll stop by Edna’s on Monday.”

Oliver nodded and placed a kiss at the exposed nape of Elio’s neck. “I want you right here every night from now on.”


	5. Oliver's Rules and Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio gets to know Oliver's rules and habits.

Elio woke up Sunday morning to the sun streaming through the large windows and Oliver leaning over him, saying “Keep sleeping. I’m going for a quick run.”

“ _Oliver_ ,” He whined, reaching up for his boyfriend. “Come back to bed.”

Oliver took hold of his right wrist, kissed his palm, and said. “Go back to sleep and I’ll be back before you know it.”

Elio pouted a little more and then turned his face into his pillow. He looked up in time to see Oliver leaving the room in his short running shorts and a t-shirt. He intended to get up himself in protest, but the next thing he knew, Oliver was leaning over him again, sweaty this time. He kissed his lips and said, “I’m going to take a shower.”

He didn’t say _join me_ , but he started stripping off his clothes as he walked toward the door and by the time Elio heard the water start, he was following Oliver into the bathroom.

Oliver made them eggs for breakfast and then they got to work at the kitchen table. Elio struggled to focus and forget about Oliver who seemed to dive straight into his work, impervious to distraction.

Elio was coming to realize that his own work ethic, for which he had been praised since he was a child, was not the result of discipline like Oliver’s, but finding nothing as fascinating as the books he read and the music he transcribed and performed.Now in a vibrant new city with Oliver, he was finding it difficult not only to focus on his work, but to care about it the way he always had.

Elio was fascinated by Oliver’s habits and the rules he had for himself. The first time he’d heard him say, “I know myself . . .” it had struck him as very American. Now it struck him as very _Oliver_.

He already knew Oliver liked to run first thing in the morning, but over the last few weeks, Elio had also learned that he didn’t eat between meals, wouldn’t drink before 5pm (except when in Italy), and kept to business hours in his office at Columbia, even when he didn’t have meetings or classes.

Much of this seemed needlessly restrictive to Elio, especially because Oliver always implied that if he broke one of these rules, there would be nothing to stop him from never keeping another of them again. One more egg and they’d have to roll him out of there.

Elio was so distracted by Oliver and his own thoughts that he journaled for a bit before starting his reading. Once he finally got into it, he found himself absorbed and lost track of time until lunch. Oliver made them BLTs again.

“Are you still planning to practice today?” Oliver asked.

Elio looked up, confused for a moment. “Oh, yeah, I should.”

“Can I come with you? Hear you play?” Oliver asked. “Or maybe another time if today won’t work?”

Elio should take Oliver up on the offer of finding another time. He had been too distracted by his feelings last week to get enough practice and he needed that focused time, but he was simply unable to say no to the opportunity of bringing Oliver with him to Juilliard to hear him play.

As they made their way to campus in the late afternoon, they talked about the week ahead. Though they had established some routines during Elio's first two weeks in New York, it felt a little like starting over now that Simon and Noah were part of the equation.

“Do you want to get lunch tomorrow?” Elio asked.

Oliver hesitated. “I usually work through lunch. What if we meet for dinner instead?”

“Okay . . . .” Elio said.

“I just . . . I try to get as much done during the workday as I can. When I have the boys, that’s the only time I have to work, and when I don’t have them, I need to get ahead or I’ll never make any progress on my research. I’m not established yet, like your dad. I don’t have tenure and—.”

“Oliver, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to question you. I understand. _Really_ , I admire how hard you work. You’re very disciplined.”

“I have to be disciplined. It doesn’t come easily to me like it does to you.”

“What do you mean?” Elio asked.

“I don’t get lost in the work the way that you do. I don’t have the same level of passion.” Oliver answered.

“Then how do you stay motivated to work so hard?”

“Well . . . I mean, I _do_ care about what I study. I’m trying with my research and this new class to get back to the pre-Socratic stuff instead of teaching intro classes to hundreds of freshman, but I have children to support and a boyfriend who eats a lot of Nutella.”

Elio turned sharply to look at Oliver.

“I’m kidding. I can afford Nutella. I just would eventually like the boys to have their own rooms and I’d like to have some security, so I don’t have to worry all the time.”

“I can help out.” Elio said.

“You’re in school, Elio.”

“My school is paid for. It’s all handled by a trust my grandfather left me. The same one who left my mother the villa. My parents . . . they’ve been smart with the money left to them. They live off of investments, not my father’s salary.”

“I assumed as much,” Oliver said. “At least based off of what I made on my first book.”

Elio huffed a laugh. “I do want to contribute. Obviously I’m not making anything right now, but I do have some money and I’ll gain access to what is left in the trust when I turn 25.”

“Elio . . . I don’t want you to be worried about this now. We can talk when you move in.”

“At least let me pay for groceries sometimes and when we go out.”

“You don’t . . . .” Oliver started and then he must have noticed the look on Elio’s face and course corrected. “Okay, okay. But don’t feel obligated. I’m doing okay and Rachel and I split the cost of daycare and anything else the boys need. The divorce was expensive, but I make enough for everything we need right now.”

Elio nodded. He felt naive. Of course Oliver was concerned about money. He had children to support and without any help from his own family. Some of Oliver’s habits were starting to make a lot more sense. Elio could see that there _were_ consequences to them, even if he still thought Oliver was too hard on himself.

“I don’t . . . .” Elio started, going back to an earlier point in the conversation. “It’s not easy for me, you know. Not at this level. Everyone in my program is as good or better than me. I’m going to have to work hard. I could learn a lot from you.”

“I’m not worried about you,” Oliver said, wrapping his arm around Elio’s back as they walked.

Elio did his best impression of Oliver that week, working diligently during the day, even during short breaks between classes, so he could spend his nights with Oliver. Sometimes they would work more in the evening, Oliver at the kitchen table and Elio reading on the couch or listening to his headphones as he made notes on the music.

They went to bed early most nights, so that Oliver could wake up in time to run before work. Elio used that time to continue sleeping or sometimes he would sit up in bed reading a novel as he waited for Oliver to return.

He was eager to see the boys again. The Friday they had planned was much the same as the last one, but this time Elio knew what was waiting for him on the other side of the apartment door.

When he walked in, he heard Oliver in the kitchen. Noah immediately toddled toward him and held up his arms, which warmed Elio’s heart. He picked him up and bounced him on his hip. Simon watched him silently from the couch where he was sitting with one of his books until Elio said _hi_ and that seemed to open the floodgates. Simon had given him a full update of everything that had happened that week before Oliver even came to greet him.

“Hi, baby.” Oliver said, kissing his cheek. “Welcome home.”

“Thank you.”

“Daddy, why do you call Ewio _baby_? He’s not a baby.”

“He’s _my_ baby. I love him and I waited a long time to have him here with us.” Oliver kissed Elio’s cheek again. Elio felt himself blush and watched Simon as he took in this information.

“Pizza’s on the way!” Oliver said. He had already warned Elio they’d be eating a lot of pizza when the boys were with them, which is why there was a _no pizza_ rule when they didn’t have the boys. _That_ was a rule that made sense to him.

Elio began to really understand that weekend what it was like when they had the boys with them. They required almost 100% of their attention until they went to bed, at which point Elio and Oliver were too tired to do much more than drink a glass of wine before going to bed themselves.

Oliver had given him an opportunity to slip away on Sunday and go practice or study, but he hadn’t wanted to miss out on time with Oliver and the boys. The result was that it was suddenly Monday and Elio was not prepared for the week. His group project was due Friday and he hadn’t completed his portion, which he needed Erin and Joey’s feedback on.

After they put the boys to sleep, he set himself up at Oliver’s desk in the small alcove off the living room and started to work on his composition. Erin had submitted a recording of her portion that he listened to on his headphones as he worked. The headphones helped him focus.

Elio hadn’t been working long when he felt Oliver wrap his arms around him from behind. Elio pulled his headphones off. “You going to bed?”

“Yeah,” Oliver answered in his deep voice. “Sure you don’t want to come with me?” He kissed his favorite spot under Elio’s ear and let one hand drift down to Elio’s stomach.

“I really need to work on this.” Elio said, regretfully.

“Okay.” Oliver relented. “Love you. Wake me up when you come to bed.”

“Not if you’re sleeping. I don’t want to disturb you.”

“I want you to, little spoon.”

Elio laughed. “New nickname?”

“I think it fits. Night, baby. Don’t stay up too late.”

Elio continued working. He felt like he was spinning his wheels for a while, but he finally landed on something he liked. He still had his headphones on, though he wasn’t listening to anything, and he was facing the wall, so he wasn’t aware of anyone standing there until he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He looked and saw Simon standing next to him in his red pajamas.

Elio jumped and pulled his headphones off. His reaction seemed to startle Simon, who jumped back a little. “Sorry, buddy.” Elio said. “I didn’t see you there.”

“What are you doing?” Simon asked. His dark blonde hair was messy from sleep and he still looked very tired.

“I’m writing music.” Elio answered.

“How do you do that?”

“It’s kind of complicated, but I’m working with some classmates on this piece, so I was listening to what my friend Erin wrote and trying to write an accompanying portion.” He wasn’t sure if any of this made sense to a 4 year old, especially a tired one.

“I want to hear you play,” Simon said.

“I don’t have anything for you to listen to right now, but I can take you with me to a practice room at school sometime and play for you.”

Simon nodded and rubbed his eyes. “‘kay.”

“You couldn’t sleep again?” Elio asked.

“I woke up and I was thirsty.” Simon answered.

“Want some water?” Simon nodded. Elio made his way to the kitchen as Simon followed.

“I want the blue cup.”

“Okay,” Elio said, pulling the cup from the cupboard. He filled it a little ways and handed the cup to Simon, who drank it down quickly and handed the cup back to Elio.

“More?” Simon shook his head.

“Ready to go back to bed?” Simon nodded.

Elio held out his hand and they walked down the hall. Before they made it to the boys’ room, Simon squeezed Elio’s hand to get his attention. He held one finger up in front of his lips to indicate they should be quiet. Elio nodded and they walked into the dark room.

Simon climbed into his bed and Elio helped him get settled, pulling up the covers to his neck. “Are you going to stay until I fall asleep?” Simon whispered.

Elio had not known to do that, but he nodded again and said, “Of course.”

Noah fussed a little and Elio stood up quickly and walked to the crib. He wasn’t awake, but his face looked a little pained and he was squirming around. Elio placed a hand on his tummy and he settled down again quickly, his face relaxing into sleep.

Elio then moved silently back to Simon. “You can sleep here,” Simon said, pointing to the other side of his small bed before Elio could settle himself on the floor. “Daddy is too big, but you fit.”

The bed was small, but Elio figured it had to be more comfortable than the floor, and he was touched that Simon wanted to share with him. As quietly and gingerly as he could, he climbed onto the bed, his back resting against the wall and his feet dangling over the end.

“You’ll stay until I fall asleep?” Simon confirmed again.

Elio nodded.

“Will you be there in the morning?”

“Of course,” Elio whispered.

“I didn’t see you this morning.” Simon said.

Elio had still been sleeping when Oliver got the boys up and off to school and daycare. Oliver had kissed him on the cheek before he left, but he hadn’t said goodbye to the boys.

“I’m sorry,” Elio said. “I’ll see you in the morning before you go to preschool.”

Simon seemed satisfied enough with that to stop fighting his heavy eyelids.

Elio wasn’t sure how long it took Simon to fall back asleep, because he wasn’t aware of anything until he woke up to the still-dark bedroom and found both boys sleeping. He silently pulled himself up and made it out into the hallway without making a sound.

Looking at his watch, he saw it was just after 2am. He returned to the desk where everything was as he had left it. He was too tired to continue working, so he turned off the lights and quietly made his way to the bedroom at the end of the hall.

Oliver was asleep, but he seemed to wake up the instant Elio slid into the bed. He opened his arms and Elio cuddled up next to him. “What time is it?” He asked in a gruff sleepy voice.

“2:08am.” Elio answered.

“So late. Did you get your work done?”

“Most of it. Simon woke up, so I put him back to sleep.”

“You should have woken me up. I would have handled it.” Oliver said.

“I know, but it was no big deal. He just wanted some water. Then I fell asleep in the boys’ room for a while.”

“Bed or rocking chair?” Oliver asked.

“Bed.” Elio answered.

“I thought that thing was going to break last time I was on it, so now I go for the rocking chair.”

Elio giggled into Oliver’s chest. “Wake me up before you go in the morning, so I can say goodbye to the boys.”

He expected Oliver to fight him on that, but he seemed too tired. He just nodded into Elio and they were soon both asleep.

“Baby,” he heard faintly. “Elio, baby. We’re getting ready to go. You don’t have to get up. I’ll bring the boys in here.”

Elio opened his eyes to the faint light in the room. There was just a crack in the curtains where the sun was coming through. Next thing he knew, he heard Simon giggling and Noah shrieking as Oliver placed them on the bed.

“Say goodbye to Elio. You’ll see him tonight.” Oliver said.

Little arms wrapped around his neck and Simon practically yelled in his here. “Bye Ewio!”

That woke him up quickly and he hugged Simon back and said. “Bye. Have fun at school.”

“I will! We’re drawing fish today!!”

As Simon let go and started jumping on the bed, Noah crawled toward him and Elio pulled him into his arms. He didn’t seem to have the same morning energy as Simon and rested his head on Elio’s chest.

Oliver must have noticed him getting too comfortable and went to pull Noah off of Elio, but he held on tight to his shirt and whined. “He’s attached to you like a barnacle again.”

“I’ll get up,” Elio said. He sat up with Noah in his arms, an act the little boy tolerated, though it seemed he would prefer to go back to sleep on Elio’s chest.

They walked out into the living room where Oliver got Simon to calm down enough to sit still while he put on his shoes. Elio still held Noah as Oliver put on his shoes as well.

“Okay, time to go!” Oliver said. “Simon, get your backpack.”

Oliver pulled Noah from Elio’s arms and then leaned in to kiss Elio. “See you tonight, baby.”

“Love you,” Elio said to Oliver. And then louder to all of them, “Have a good day!” He helped Simon get his backpack on and waved as Oliver made it out the door with both boys.

The apartment seemed very quiet when he was alone again. He went to the kitchen to find the coffee Oliver had left for him and then returned to the desk to finish his work from the night before.


	6. Oliver Has Everything He Needs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week in Oliver's new life.

Fridays when Oliver dropped his boys off at preschool and daycare, knowing he wouldn’t see them again for another week, were always hard. He would get used to the quiet and take advantage of the time alone to work as hard as he could, but that first night he always missed them terribly.

Simon ran off with a friend as soon as they got to the preschool and Oliver had to call him back to hug and kiss him goodbye. He then walked next door to the daycare to drop off Noah. He hugged him tight and breathed him in for a moment before handing him over.

It was hard, but he would not go home to an empty apartment tonight. Elio would be with him. They were meeting after work at an Italian restaurant. It was the first attempt in what Oliver expected to be the impossible mission of finding food in New York half as good as Mafalda’s. The next time he was at the villa, he would beg her to teach him everything.

Oliver worked diligently until just after 5 and then went to meet Elio. He felt butterflies in his stomach when he spotted him standing outside the restaurant. It had been weeks now and Oliver was growing used to home life with Elio, but taking him out on a date on a Friday night was still very new.

He had no idea how he had ever gone years without seeing and touching and holding Elio, because now he felt starved for it by the end of the day. Enough to risk giving Elio a quick kiss in the middle of the sidewalk and wrapping an arm around his back as they walked into the restaurant.

“You’re in a good mood,” Elio said once they were seated.

“I’m always in a good mood,” Oliver replied playfully.

Elio just smiled and shook his head. Oliver was distracted by the way his dark curls fell in front of his face as he began to study the menu. Clearly sensing he was being watched, Elio looked up, “Already know what you’re getting?”

“Let me know your second choice and I’ll get that. We can share!”

Oliver grinned at Elio who smiled back at him and shook his head again. “You’re too much.”

It was getting to be cooler in the evenings and not so muggy, so they walked home instead of taking the subway. He held Elio’s hand the whole way.

They settled in front of the TV once they got home and Oliver struggled to keep his eyes open. The week had gone quickly, but he’d been up early with the boys every day.

“Oliver . . . ?” He heard Elio say, but his eyelids were so heavy. “Okay, time for bed.” Elio stood up and pulled Oliver’s arm. “Come on.”

He let Elio pull him up and push him down the hall to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, removed his clothes, and collapsed in bed. Elio followed a few minutes behind, turned off the lights, and got them both positioned in the bed to his liking.

Oliver hummed and then turned to look at Elio in the dark. “Sorry I’m so old and boring.”

“It’s okay. You’re very good looking, so it makes up for it.”

Oliver laughed into Elio’s shoulder.

“You’re not old, Oliver. And you’ll never be boring to me. But you are ridiculously good looking. I wasn’t lying about that.”

“Baby, I couldn’t take my eyes off you all night.”

“I know,” Elio said.

“I love you, Elio Perlman.”

“Love you too.” Elio kissed his cheek. “Sleep now. You’re tired.”

Oliver’s curse since he had become a father was that he struggled to stay awake past 11pm or sleep in past 6am. The sun was still rising when he was suddenly wide awake. He’d been sleeping on his back and Elio had an arm across his body and his head resting on Oliver’s shoulder. After a moment, he started to gently pull himself away from Elio, so that he could climb out of bed.

But Elio was not willing to let him go. “ _Oliver_ ,” was all he said at first, replacing the arm thatOliver had removed and holding on tight.

“Keep sleeping, baby. I’m just going to go for a quick run.”

“ _Nooooo_.” Elio whined, his eyes still closed.

“Elio, I’ll be back before you’re ready to get up. I haven’t had a chance to run all week and if I don’t go first thing, I never will.”

“Yes you _will_.”

“Elio . . . .”

He finally looked up at him. “What’s the point of having a boyfriend if he won’t even snuggle with me on Saturday morning?”

“Okay, okay. I’ll stay.” Oliver resettled himself and began running his right hand up and down Elio’s back in a soothing motion. Elio had been asking questions lately about a number of Oliver’s habits, and it was obvious he found some of them odd, but this was the first time he objected. Oliver was anxious to go for a run, but what could he really say in his defense?

Elio drifted in and out of sleep over the next hour. Oliver considered reaching for the book on his nightstand, but he knew that would be missing the point and did he really need to be distracted from cuddling Elio, who he not long ago would have done anything to have in his bed again? He was so used to always focusing on the _next thing_ , but now he had what he wanted in his arms.

Oliver slid down a bit on the bed and repositioned Elio, who seemed agitated for a second when he thought Oliver was trying to leave again, and then quickly snuggled back in when he realized that wasn’t the case.

When Elio finally opened his eyes for good, it seemed to take him a minute to make sense of everything. He noticed Oliver watching him and quickly hid his face in Oliver’s chest, a small smile barely visible. Oliver gave him a moment and then pulled Elio further up his body, so he could see his face. The smile was still there and it melted Oliver.

“Morning, baby.”

“Morning.” Elio replied in his raspy voice.

“Did you sleep well?” Oliver asked.

Elio nodded and nuzzled his face in Oliver’s neck.

Oliver laughed. “Does this make you happy?”

Elio nodded again and hummed.

Oliver kissed the top of his head and wrapped his arms around Elio. They were like that for a long time and then a number of other positions as the morning went on. Sometimes they talked and sometimes they were quiet.

Finally, Oliver was on his back and Elio was tucked under his arm, head on his chest, and fingers playing with his chest hair. “Can I ask you something?”

“ _Anything_ ,” Oliver replied, as he always did.

“The day we went with my dad to the lake, why were you so annoyed with me?” Oliver smiled at the question. Elio had slowly been getting used to asking what he wanted to know and in only the last week, Oliver had answered at least a dozen questions, ranging from queries about his family to the smallest details about their first Summer together.

“I don’t know exactly—.”

Elio quickly lifted his head and looked up at him. “You don’t remember?”

“No, I didn’t even know at the time. You touched a nerve and I felt like I needed to shut you down or that was the way our conversations would go from then on.”

“You didn’t like me talking about Chiara?” Elio asked.

“I felt like you were testing me.”

“I was.” Elio said. “That trip was when I realized . . . .”

“That you were hopelessly in love with me?” Oliver asked with a smirk.

“That I didn’t hate you,” Elio corrected. “That I couldn’t stand the thought of _you_ hating _me_.”

“I never hated you.” Oliver said. “Not even when you ran off to meet Marzia the second we got home.”

Elio studied his face at that. Oliver had never admitted before to feeling anything about Elio’s relationship with Marzia. It was something that bothered him more in retrospect than it did in the moment.

“I apologized to her for that, but never to you.”

“You don’t need to apologize, goose. I got exactly what I wanted.”

“Yeah?” Elio asked, biting his lips.

“Yeah,” Oliver said, slowly pushing Elio onto his back and climbing over him. He placed a single kiss to the center of his chest and then started working his way up, kissing his shoulders, his collarbone. “All of this skin. How does someone so small have so much skin?”

Elio laughed. “I’m really quite tall, not that you would ever notice.”

“I’ve noticed.” He started kissing down Elio’s body, listening for his reactions. Oliver heard a small gasp when he reached Elio’s stomach and felt him trying to control his breathing while Oliver kissed one hip bone and then the other. His boxers were sitting very low and not concealing much at this point.

Oliver liked to take his time with Elio, but they hadn’t had a lot of time lately and when they did, they lacked patience. Today, finally, there was no rush. He kissed back up his boyfriend’s chest, ignoring for now Elio’s tiny whine of protest as Oliver moved away from where he wanted him.

He finally reached his lips and they kissed for a while until Elio pulled back, panting, and said, “Fuck me, Elio.”

Oliver grinned and Elio returned his smile. He looked so happy that Oliver couldn’t help but laugh. He gave him another quick kiss and did as he was asked.

By the time they were both satisfied, Oliver had well and truly lost track of time in a way that was out of character. The only clear sign that any time had passed, despite the hours of cuddling, sex, and more cuddling was that his stomach was making growling sounds.

Reluctantly, he pulled himself up from the bed. And Elio, who didn’t argue because his stomach was growling too. When they reached the living room, Oliver eyed the clock and saw it was just after noon. “Breakfast for lunch?” He asked.

Elio nodded and they got to work. Oliver loved to see how comfortable Elio now was in his space as he set about making the coffee.

“We need groceries,” Oliver said as he used the last of the eggs and the bread.

“I need to do laundry,” Elio replied. “Unless I go pick up more stuff from Edna’s, but all of my favorite clothes are dirty.”

“I do too. The sheets won’t make it another night.” Oliver winked and Elio blushed slightly. It delighted Oliver that he could still do that to his young boyfriend.

They ate quickly and then went first for the groceries. Oliver enjoyed cooking. When he was married, he shared those responsibilities with Rachel, but he hadn’t been very inspired since his divorce to cook for himself or picky toddlers. But now there was Elio. He picked up almost more than they could reasonably carry home, buying ingredients for several meals he wanted to make that week.

Oliver did not see it coming. He was unloading items from their cart onto the conveyer belt and somehow Elio was up near the register, the cart separating them. When the cashier announced the total, Elio pulled several bills from his wallet and Oliver could not stop him.

It seemed Elio had learned from his first attempt earlier in the week when he’d told Oliver he’d pay for the groceries and Oliver had proceeded to choose the less expensive wine, a sad cut of steak, and potatoes.

Once they were home, Oliver showed Elio the laundry room in the basement of his apartment building. There were enough machines to do several loads at once. Then they set about cleaning the apartment.

When they finished their chores, Elio pushed Oliver to go for his run. He tried to put him off, but Elio insisted. When he returned, they showered.

“I can get the boys up some mornings,” Elio said. “So you can go for a run.”

Oliver could tell by the way Elio was watching him that he’d already prepared his rebuttal to any objection Oliver might make. In his hesitation, Elio continued: “Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have most of the morning free, so I can get them up and dressed and fed while you go for a run and get yourself ready. Then you can take them to school and daycare.”

“Thank you, baby.” Oliver said. “If you don’t always have the time, it’s okay. Just let me know and I’ll handle it.”

Elio seemed to accept that, nodding and going back to folding the laundry.

Oliver cooked dinner for them and then they went for a long walk as it got dark. They read in bed for a while and fell asleep early.

When Oliver opened his eyes, it was still dark in the room. He didn’t know what had woken him up, but he knew something wasn’t right. Then he heard Elio somewhere next to him struggling to breathe.

“ _Elio_?” He could see that Elio was sitting up, his back to Oliver and feet hanging over the side of the bed.

He didn’t respond. He couldn’t. He was hunched over and breathing shallowly.Oliver was next to him in a second. “What’s wrong. Are you hurt?” He placed his hand on Elio’s back and leaned down to see his face. He could see tears glistening on his cheeks, but it was too dark to see anything else.

Oliver placed his other hand on Elio’s chest and gently positioned him so he was sitting upright and had a better chance of getting a deep breath. As far as he could tell, Elio was unhurt. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” He repeated.

Elio brought both of his hands up to grip the hand Oliver had placed on his chest to hold him up. He was still taking quick, short breaths, but slowly he seemed to regain some of his control.

“Did you have a bad dream?” Oliver asked.

Elio nodded and tried to speak. “I . . . was . . . in . . . New . . . York . . . and . . . you . . . were . . . not . . . _here_.”

Oliver scooted closer, wrapping his left arm more firmly around Elio’s back in a half hug and pressing his lips to Elio’s bare shoulder, trying to ground him any way he could. “That wasn’t real, Elio. What’s real is you and me here together.”

He could feel Elio trying to take a deep breath. It took him several attempts, but finally he seemed to fill his lungs.

“You’re okay,” Oliver repeated. He lifted his head to kiss Elio’s temple, but Elio quickly turned and met his lips with his own. When they pulled apart, Oliver brought his hands up to cup Elio’s face, wiping the tears away with his thumbs, and then pulled him into another grounding kiss.

They were sitting at odd angles, so Oliver put an arm under Elio’s legs and pulled him into his lap. Elio rested his head on his shoulder and just breathed for a moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet, but steady. “What if you never came back to Italy? What if you didn’t want me?”

“I’ll _always_ want you.” Oliver said, wrapping his arms tight around Elio. “And I wasn’t going to go on living without you. For once, things worked out easily for us, but if it hadn’t been easy, I still would have found you and convinced you to come live here with me.”

“Really?”

“Yes. The only thing that was ever up to chance was you all picking me to spend the Summer of 1983 with you. And now there is no chance I am ever letting you go again unless you decide at some point that’s what you want.”

“ _No_.” Elio shook his head.

“Okay. Then you’re stuck with me.” Oliver smiled, but it seemed Elio wasn’t ready for that yet. “Is this something you’ve been worried about?”

“A little.” Elio shrugged. “Today because it was so perfect that I started to think _what if this never happened?_ ”

“You can always tell me how you feel, even if you think it’s something little. Or even if you’re sad at the end of a perfect day.”

Elio nodded into him.

“Wait, we did laundry, cleaned, did the grocery shopping . . . you liked that?”

“Yeah,” Elio said into his neck. “I like doing mundane things with you. I never thought I’d get the chance.”

“I loved it too,” Oliver said. “Think you can sleep?”

“Yeah,” Elio repeated.

Oliver stood up with Elio in his arms. He pretended it was of no effort, which was true once he was standing, but it took some strength to get to his feet. It was worth it and a relief when he heard Elio laugh.

Oliver walked to his own side of the bed, set Elio down, and climbed in beside him. He kissed under his ear and at the nape of his neck, pulling Elio back against his chest.

+++

When Oliver got to daycare early Friday evening, Noah was the first to spot him. “Dada,” he said quietly as Oliver reached over the low barricade to pick him up. Simon spotted him then and ran to the gate held open for him and hugged Oliver’s legs.

“Hi buddy.” Oliver said, patting his head. “I missed you.”

“Missed you,” Simon mumbled.

Oliver leaned down to kiss Simon’s cheek. “Let’s go get pizza, okay? Elio is waiting.” Simon grabbed his hand and they walked down the street to meet Elio, who was already sitting in a booth at the pizza parlor when they arrived. Simon was shy for a moment in Elio’s presence, but quickly warmed up as Elio asked him about school.

By the time they arrived home a few hours later, Simon was telling Elio excitedly about his friend Naomi (who he called _Nomi_ ) and Noah was falling asleep in Oliver’s arms.

They gave the boys a bath, all four of them crowding into the bathroom, and then got them dressed in their pajamas. This time Oliver did not hesitate when Simon begged to sleep in their bed.

Noah was soon asleep on Elio’s chest and Simon was starting to drift, alternating between enthusiasm for the story they were reading and quiet as his eyes drooped. Oliver and Elio laughed quietly as Simon fought sleep and finally succumbed. “That’s what you look like when you’re tired,” Elio said.

Oliver laughed. He saw no reason to suppress his smile as he took in the scene of the four of them together in his large bed.

Elio looked at him curiously and whispered, “What?”

Oliver shook his head. “You’ll just tease me.”

“I can’t make any promises about that.” Elio said. “ _Tell_ me.”

“I was thinking that I have everything I need right here.” The realization brought with it more love and contentment than Oliver had ever suspected himself capable of. He really didn’t need anything outside of this room, outside of this _bed_.

Elio grinned at him. He was trapped under a sleeping Noah, so he reached out a free hand toward Oliver, beckoning him to lean in for a kiss. Oliver did not hesitate. “I love you,” Elio said against his lips.

“Love you too,” Oliver said.

“You know my father. You really think I’d scoff at a little sincerity?”

“This is more than a little.” Oliver replied.

Elio laughed and then quickly quieted down when Noah started to wake up. “Doesn’t scare me.” He whispered to Oliver.


	7. Breakfast by Elio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio wakes up early and makes breakfast for Oliver and his sons.

Elio woke up with the drool of a sleeping toddler running down his neck. Noah was passed out on top of him and when he looked over to Oliver’s side of the bed, he found Simon squished between the two of them, his arms above his head and mouth open like he fell asleep mid-stretch. Oliver was on his side facing the rest of them and he had his left arm extended across Simon and holding on loosely to Elio’s wrist.

This seemed to be a Saturday tradition when they had the boys. They were good about sleeping in their own room most nights, but after a full week away from Oliver, they wanted to be close to their dad, so it had become routine that they’d all sleep together in the big bed on Friday nights.

Elio didn’t mind. As his parents often teased, he could fall asleep anywhere. He loved his alone time with Oliver, but they had that most nights.

He’d loved the boys before he’d ever met them, because they were part of Oliver, but over the last several weeks, he had come to know and love them for who they were. At home, Simon almost never stopped talking until he passed out each night from exhaustion. He was learning to read and had started to read parts of his own bedtime stories with Oliver helping him through difficult words.

Noah was slowly starting to talk more and more. Elio wasn’t sure exactly what he understood, but the way he seemed to quietly take everything in with his big blue eyes, Elio suspected it was more than they knew. Noah liked to be held by Oliver or Elio (or, really, _anyone_ , Elio suspected) and watch as the world went on around him.

Oliver usually woke up before Elio and then woke him with the smell of coffee coming from the kitchen or gentle kisses to his shoulder or the sound of him getting the boys ready for the day.Elio wanted to take this rare opportunity of being the first one awake by starting breakfast for all of them.

When he tried to get up from the bed and place Noah down next to Simon, the toddler was immediately awake and making a face that Elio knew was the one second warning that tears were coming. He picked him up again and hugged him to his chest, which seemed to calm him down instantly.

Making his way out to the kitchen with Noah still in his arms, he worked on getting the coffee started with just one hand. He talked to Noah as he worked, telling him about Mafalda and how ashamed she’d be to see him using a plastic coffee maker. Noah giggled when he imitated Mafalda’s voice.

Once he thought it was safe to try again, he put the toddler down in his high chair, pulled it into position so Noah could see everything he was doing, and distracted him with Cheerios, which he tried to eat by the fistful. Elio then got to work making pancakes as Oliver had taught him. He heated up some frozen sausages and made a fresh batch of orange juice from concentrate. Mafalda would not approve of _any_ of this, he knew.

Oliver woke up as soon as the smell of coffee started to permeate the apartment. He came up behind Elio and wrapped his arms around him as Elio was getting ready to flip a pancake.“Good morning.” He placed a quick kiss on Elio’s cheek, which made Noah giggle, so Oliver turned to him and kissed his cheek too. Noah giggled again and reached up to Oliver to be picked up. Oliver indulged and pulled Noah from his high chair and held him on his hip as he surveyed Elio’s work. “Oh, sausage too? This _is_ a good morning.”

“Daddy!” Came Simon’s voice from the bedroom.

Elio put down the spatula, so Oliver could hand him Noah. Oliver then went back to the bedroom and emerged shortly with a sleepy looking Simon. Elio could tell Simon was having a hard time waking up as he watched Oliver walk around the living room with him in his arms, talking quietly. He was such a good father and watching him with his sons only made Elio fall more in love with him.

When he smelled burning pancake, Elio quickly returned to the stove and finished preparing breakfast. By the time they all made it to the table, Simon was his normal talkative self, begging to go to his favorite park. Oliver told him they’d talk about it later.

The weeks they had the boys, they came first, but Saturdays in particular were dedicated to them. Oliver made it clear that if Elio had other plans or needed some time on his own, he didn’t expect him to be there every moment.

Elio wasn’t as disciplined as Oliver in getting his work done when the boys were with Rachel or at daycare, but he tried to be there whenever he could. There was never a time when he wanted to be away from Oliver and he missed the boys when they were with Rachel.

Elio did worry about how the boys felt with him always being around. They used to have Oliver to themselves and he had changed that. Noah might be too young to care, but Simon was old enough to register the difference.

The boys played in the living room as Elio and Oliver cleaned up the kitchen. “What if Noah and I stay here this morning while you and Simon go to the park?” Elio said.

“You don’t want to go?” Oliver asked, his hands in soapy dishwater.

“No. I just think Simon might like some time alone with you. Noah and I can entertain ourselves here or go on a walk or something.

“Has he said something that—?”

“No,” Elio interrupted. “Seeing you two together this morning, I just think he might like some time alone with his dad.”

“That’s very sweet. Thank you, baby. He loves you, you know. He talks about you nonstop when you’re not here.”

“Really?” Elio asked.

“Yes. He tells me everything you’ve told him about your music and he asks a lot of questions about you.”

“Questions?”

“He’s asked me multiple times how old you are. He’s a little confused that you’re still in school and he’s trying to understanding what it means that you grew up in Italy.”

Elio could not stop the grin on his face. “Is there anything I can do to make him comfortable asking me those questions?”

“No, baby. Just give him time. He’s been through a lot with the divorce and everything.”

Elio nodded. “I think it would still be good for him to have some time with you.”

“Okay,” Oliver said. “Can you get him ready while I finish the dishes?”

Elio was happy to see Oliver getting more comfortable not only accepting his help with the boys, but asking for it. He nodded again.

“Simon,” Oliver called. “Elio is going to help you get your shoes on, so we can go to the park, okay?”

“The one with the big kid toys?” Simon asked.

“Yeah. Your favorite!” Elio answered. “Come on, let’s get your shoes on!”

“What about Nohy? Doesn’t he need his shoes too?” Simon asked, following Elio to the boys’ room.

“No, he’s staying here with me.” Elio said. “Your daddy is going to take you.” Elio grabbed Simon’s shoes and sat down on the floor. Simon followed him.

“You don’t like the park?” Simon asked. “There’s a jungle gym with a big slide.”

“How big?” Elio asked.

“This big!” Simon answered, holding his arms as wide as he could.

Elio laughed. “Sounds like fun. Show me next time, okay?”

“Okay,” Simon said. He was quiet for a moment as Elio got his shoes on and started tying them. And then: “You’re not going to take Nohy to piano, are you? Because you said you’d take me and daddy said he saw you, and I didn’t get to see . . . .”

It wasn’t clear to Elio whether the boy had finished his thought or simply run out of breath, he’d spoken so fast. He was learning something about Simon: he never forgot anything, especially not a promise. And Elio had promised to take him to one of the practice rooms at Juilliard, so he could hear him play piano.

“What if we go this afternoon?” Elio asked. He should run it by Oliver, but he was eager to deliver on his promise.

“Yeah!” Simon yelled.

Elio loved his enthusiasm. He hadn’t been that excited to practice in quite some time.

Oliver just gave him a knowing little smile when he told him about the plan. They decided to meet for lunch at a diner and switch kids.

Once Oliver and Simon had left for the park, Elio pulled out the bin that held all the train pieces, and he and Noah played with them on the living room floor. Elio pointed to different pieces of the train and the tracks, naming each to see if Noah would repeat him. The furthest he got was the _caboose_ , which Noah thought was hilarious. He giggled and said “boose, boose!”

Then Elio pointed to himself and said, “Elio.” Noah stuck out his little hand and reached for Elio, climbing up so he could grab a handful of curls. “El-i-o,” he said again, but Noah did not attempt to mimic him. He was too distracted by Elio’s hair.

Elio picked Noah up and gently loosened his grip on his curls. Once he had his attention, he used Noah’s hand to point at himself and say, “Elio.”

He tried several more times and the best he got was a spitty, breathless “weo.”

When it was time to go meet Oliver and Simon, Elio dressed Noah in a cute little cardigan sweater he had noticed in the boys’ closet. He also noticed a little suit jacket with patch sleeves that looked similar to what Oliver often wore to teach.

If he’d ever thought before the last few months about what it would be like to have children, he’d focused on the things he would teach them, like his father had taught him. All the life lessons he wanted to pass on. He hadn’t thought about the delight he would take in little things like this.

They were early, so outside the diner, Elio held Noah’s hand as he walked around to the different things that interested him: a pigeon, a bench, people. He was steadier on his feet when he was in motion.

“Is that my baby boy or a teenager?” Oliver said, walking up beside Elio. He let go of Simon’s hand and scooped Noah into his arms. “Why does he suddenly look so grown up?” He turned to look at Elio.

Elio shrugged. “Maybe it’s the cardigan? I almost couldn’t resist putting him in that little sport jacket that’s in the closet with the patched sleeves.”

“My friend Jennifer at work gave that to me when he was born. Probably fits now.” Oliver said, still hugging Noah to himself. “They grow up so fast.”

Elio didn’t know what to say to that, so he just gave Oliver a moment.

“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Simon finally said and they walked into the diner.

“Be good for Elio, okay?” Oliver said an hour later after they had finished lunch and were making their way back outside. “Hold his hand and listen to what he says.”

“I will,” Simon said seriously.

“We’ll be back in a couple hours,” Elio told Oliver.

“Okay. I’m going to get my little teenager home for his nap.” Oliver said. And then to Simon, “Have fun, buddy!”

Simon took the hand Elio held out for him and they started towards Juilliard. He still seemed quite serious, like he too was trying to seem more mature and grown up. When the subway was busy, Simon didn’t say anything, but gripped tighter to Elio’s hand.

When they reached campus, Elio pointed out different buildings and areas where he liked to study. Simon took everything in, but Elio couldn’t tell if he was interested or not.

“We’ll see if we can get one of the practice rooms with a piano. They aren’t usually busy on Saturday afternoons, but we might have to wait for a little bit.”

Luckily, someone was leaving a room just as they arrived, so they didn’t have to wait. Elio was holding the heavy door open for Simon when he heard his name and looked up. His friend Jenny was walking toward him.

“Hey, why didn’t you come out with us last night?” She asked. “It was _crazy_. Beth is so hungover she said I couldn’t practice at home. Tequila will do that to you. I should know.”

Elio froze. This seemed like the collision of two worlds and he wasn’t sure how to navigate them. Before he could speak, Simon, who was still holding his hand, poked his head outside of the door to see who was talking.

When Jenny spotted him, she hesitated for only a second and then asked enthusiastically, “Who is _this_?”

“This is Simon,” Elio answered. Jenny knew about his boyfriend Oliver and Elio thought he’d mentioned Oliver had children.

“And how old are you, Simon?”

“Four,” he said, holding up four fingers to Jenny.

“Wow, so grown up!” She said. “Are you going to practice with Elio?”

“He’s going to play for me,” Simon answered proudly. He looked at ease answering Jenny’s questions, but he was squeezing Elio’s hand tightly again.

“Cool,” Jenny responded.

“Jenny plays clarinet.” Elio said.

Jenny held up her clarinet case. “If you guys want, you can come next door and I’ll play something for you.”

“Thanks,” Elio said. “We’ll see if we have time.” He didn’t know what kind of attention span Simon would have.

“Okay,” Jenny said. “Have fun, you two!”

When they were alone in the room, Elio pulled out the bench and helped Simon onto it and then he sat down. He wasn’t sure at first what to play, but then he launched into Bach. To play it as Liszt and Busoni would have was a parlor trick he hadn’t used in many years and he didn’t expect to be impressive to a four year old, but it was a fun little piece to play short variations of and he noticed Simon watching his hands closely as he moved them over the keys.

“I played this for your dad once,” Elio said. “Do you want to try?”

Simon looked up at him nervously and shook his head, so Elio launched into another lively piece, watching Simon for signs of boredom, but he still looked interested. He played for several minutes and then cut to a dramatic end.

“I like that one,” Simon said.

“Yeah? Sure you don’t want to try hitting the keys? It’s fun.”

“How do you know which ones?”

“Well, starting out, you can just hit anything you want. But I can teach you a song.” Elio racked his brain for anything Simon might now. Most of the nursery rhymes he knew were French or Italian. “Oh, do you know this one?” Elio started playing.

Simon’s face lit up. “Happy Birthday?”

“Yeah,” Elio laughed. “Come on, let’s play it together.” He positioned Simon’s fingers on the keys and covered them with his own.

“I’m playing it!” Simon said as they went through the song.

“You are!” Elio replied.

“Can we play Twinkle, Twinkle?” Simon asked.

“I don’t know that one, but we could ask Jenny to play it, if you want.”

Simon nodded enthusiastically.

“Okay, how about I play you one more song. It’s what I’ve been working on. And then we’ll go hear Jenny play before we go home?”

“‘Kay,” Simon said, watching the keys and waiting for Elio to start. It was a longer piece, but Simon seemed to appreciate the drama of it. When Elio finished, he smiled up at him.

“Okay, come on!” Elio said, grabbing his bag from the corner and then holding the door open. Simon slid off the piano seat and held up his hand. Elio was pretty sure Oliver’s hand holding rule did not apply in the hallways of Juilliard’s practice rooms, but took Simon’s hand anyway as he turned off the light and they walked next door.

Jenny played “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” and “The Itsy Bitsy Spider,” all of which were big hits with Simon.

On their way home, they stopped to play at a park that Simon had never been to before. He said the slide was not as big as the one he’d gone on that morning, but it was fun.

When they walked in the apartment, it was Oliver that Elio noticed first. He was asleep on the couch, his impossibly long legs stretched out and his feet dangling off the end. Then he noticed Noah asleep on top of him.

“Shh,” he said quietly to Simon, motioning towards the couch. He then ushered Simon down the hall to Oliver’s room. “Why don’t we read in here for a bit?”

“Can I have some juice?” Simon asked.

“Yes, be right back. Grab your favorite book and jump up on the bed.”

Elio quietly made his way to the kitchen, filling one of Simon’s sip cups with orange juice and grabbing some crackers. When he got back to Oliver’s room, Simon was sitting on the bed with one of his books open in his lap.

They read for almost an hour and still there was no sound coming from the living room. Elio knew Oliver didn’t like Noah to nap after 4pm or he would have trouble sleeping at night, so finally he walked out quietly to see if he could grab Noah without waking Oliver.

As far as Elio was concerned, Oliver almost never got an acceptable amount of sleep, so he wanted him to rest. It melted his heart to see them both sleeping soundly, Noah’s arms and legs sprawled, his little fists gripping Oliver’s shirt. With one hand, Oliver was holding Noah securely in place.

Elio ran his fingers up and down Noah’s back, trying to wake him up gently. Just as he was starting to move his little body, but before Elio could pull him into his arms, Elio felt a hand on his wrist and suddenly he was being pulled down.

“Hey,” Elio laughed as he landed on Oliver and next to Noah, who was just lifting his head trying to figure out what was happening.

With the hand he had used to pull him down, suddenly Oliver started tickling him. That made Noah giggle, so Oliver tickled him for a moment before returning his focus to Elio.

“Simon!” Elio shouted. “Come help me.”

“Ewio?” Simon yelled from the bedroom and then they heard him running down the hall. He paused when he got to the living room and then Elio reached an arm out for him. As soon as he got close enough, Oliver scooped him up and dumped him on top of Elio. Oliver tickled Simon until he was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe.

“Help me get him,” Elio said, trying to retaliate by tickling Oliver. Simon helped him, but they were no match for Oliver, so finally Elio conceded, “Okay, okay.”

They all recovered with deep breaths, but Noah still seemed to find it funny that they were on the couch in one big heap. His giggle was infectious and soon they all started laughing again.

Elio’s two worlds had collided that today and there was no question which he preferred.


	8. Oliver Hates It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver hates it when Elio doesn't come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos. This is a lot of fun to write.

Oliver hates it when Elio doesn’t come home. He tried to hide it for a while, but it became increasingly obvious as he told Elio _again_ in his calm way that he doesn’t care who he goes out with or how late he stays at school practicing, he would simply _prefer_ that Elio come home to him at the end of the night and not to the room he rents. He knows it won’t be long before Oliver begins to openly question why Elio continues to rent the room when he practically lives with Oliver already.

Elio has his reasons, but he doesn’t mind that Oliver questions them. He loves seeing this side of Oliver who is not nearly as cool or indifferent as he once seemed. Elio does believe him when he says he doesn’t care who he spends time with or how late he works. Some nights he really needs to focus or has been out late drinking with classmates, so he does sleep in that small room he rents in the big house, but most nights he comes home to Oliver.

It was just after midnight when Elio let himself into the apartment. Oliver had left the small table lamp on for him, as he always did. After grabbing a drink of water in the kitchen, Elio went to the bathroom to quickly shower the grime of the city off of his body and brush his teeth. He then walked naked down the hall to Oliver’s room. The boys were with Rachel, so he didn’t have to be careful.

Oliver was usually a light sleeper, but on rare occasions when he didn’t wake up when his boyfriend got home, he insisted that Elio wake him. Elio had resisted at first, not wanting to wake Oliver when he was sleeping peacefully. But Oliver insisted he slept better knowing that Elio was home safe and in his arms.

Elio had come to love waking Oliver up, because sleepy Oliver was just as loving as waking Oliver, but far less composed. He said what he wanted and even whined once when Elio wanted to sleep with his head on Oliver’s chest instead of as the little spoon. He had never heard Oliver whine, and it was so adorable that Elio gave in immediately and turned over so Oliver could wrap him up in his arms and pull him back against his chest.

Another time, sleepy Oliver had called Elio his _angel baby_. Oliver blushed when Elio teased him about it the next day. That’s how Elio knew it was something Oliver thought often, even if he didn’t say it.

Tonight Elio found Oliver sleeping with his back to the door, really more on Elio’s side of the bed than his own. Elio couldn’t help but grin. He lifted up the covers and climbed in behind Oliver, wrapping his arm around him and placing kisses on his back until Oliver turned around and said, “Hey, baby.” He settled on his back, so Elio could tuck into his side. “Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah. We went to the bar for a while and then a diner.”

“Late night pancakes?” Oliver asked.

“No, I’m saving myself for your pancakes tomorrow.” Elio said, wiggling a little to make himself comfortable. “I had fries.”

“Mmm.”

“What did you do?” Elio asked, looking up at his boyfriend.

“Grabbed a quick dinner and then went to the library. I was just going to bring some books home, but it was so nice and quiet that I ended up staying for a few hours.”

“You worked on a Friday night?!”

“Don’t say it like that! I haven’t had distraction free time to work on my research in so long.”

“I’m just teasing you.” Elio said, kissing Oliver’s cheek. “But, I was thinking . . .” He trailed off.

“What, baby?”

“Come with me next time?” Elio asked.

“Because you feel sorry for me spending Friday night alone? Sometimes it’s good to have alone ti—.”

“ _No_. I want you to meet my friends and I want them to meet you. I don’t think they believe you’re real.”

“Gonna show me off, baby?” Oliver grinned at him.

Elio giggled. It was the kind of thing only sleepy Oliver would say. “Don’t gloat. Erin and Joey asked me how we met.”

“What did you say?”

“We met in the Summer of 1983 when you came to study with my father. And I seduced you.”

Oliver laughed. “So glaring at me, running away when I touched you, that was all part of your seduction? I thought you hated me.”

“I had to hate you or your indifference would have killed me.” Elio said, turning his face into Oliver’s side.

Oliver kissed the top ofhis head. “I was not indifferent for one second. You know that.”

“Did you know how much I wanted you? You must have felt my yearning through the walls.” This was not the first time they’d had this conversation, but Elio liked to ask these questions and Oliver liked to answer them.

“I couldn’t feel it through the walls.” Oliver poked Elio in the stomach and he squirmed away, but quickly cuddled up next to Oliver again. “But I knew you wanted me. I just didn’t know if you were ready for this.”

“I’m not sure I was,” Elio said.

Oliver quickly pulled Elio on top of him. “Too late. You’re mine now.”

Elio hid his face in the crook of Oliver’s neck and mumbled something.

“What was that?” Oliver asked.

“I like being yours.” Elio said, a little more loudly.

Oliver wrapped his arms tighter around Elio. “I _love_ being yours.”

Elio lifted his head and smiled. “Promise when you meet my friends you won’t tell them how cheesy we are.”

Oliver smiled. “I love you, baby. But I can’t promise that.”

“ _Oliverrrrr_.” He whined. “I need them to think I’m a serious musician.”

“You can be a serious musician in love.” Oliver said.

“You want all your students to know their professor is like this?” Elio asked.

“I don’t want them to know I’m a softie, because they’ll fight me on every grade, but I want the world to know I’m yours.”

Elio hid his face in Oliver’s neck again, but he was smiling. Oliver kissed him on the cheek and ran his fingers up and down his back.

“Do you feel weird at all with your friends that you come home to me and two toddlers?”

Elio was surprised by the question. He lifted his head to look at Oliver. He knew that Oliver had been nervous early on that Elio would be overwhelmed by the reality of his life raising two little boys, but Elio couldn’t see any insecurity in his face. It sounded like a genuine question and he wanted to answer honestly.

“Not with Erin and Joey. I’ve talked a lot about you guys and they kind of called me out tonight for not bringing you with me. They want to meet Simon and Noah too.”

“They could come to the park with us some day? Or come over for pizza?”

“Yeah,” Elio smiled. “I want them to meet just you first, but that would be fun.”

“So it is a little weird with your other friends?” Oliver asked.

“Not weird.” Elio answered. “It just sometimes feels like we’re in different places, you know? Last week Jenny was telling me about being hungover and waking up in bed with a guy she barely remembered meeting. She laughed when I told her I’d fallen asleep at 10:30 in my boyfriend’s arms.”

Oliver chuckled at that.

“I don’t feel like I can really talk to them about the boys, other than the cute things they do. And sometimes they give me a hard time about how little I go out with them.”

“You should go out with them more. Any time you want.”

“I don’t want to,” Elio said. “We spend all day in class together. Nights and weekends are the only time I have with you and the boys. I left early tonight because I wanted to be with you.”

“That’s how I feel too,” Oliver said. “Obviously my time is limited when we have the boys, but when we don’t, I’ve wanted you all to myself.” Oliver hugged Elio tighter to himself and Elio giggled.

“I’ve kind of been ignoring my own friends, but I want them to be your friends too. Some of them have kids now and they’ll understand what you’re going through.”

“That would be nice.” Elio said. “I want to meet them.”

“Maybe we can also take a trip—just us. At least for a weekend?”

“I’d like that.” Elio said.

“I’ve been thinking . . . I don’t know what you’re planning to do next Summer, but I’d like to take the boys to the villa for a couple weeks at least.”

Elio grinned down at him. “Yeah?”

“Of course.” Oliver said. “I want it to be a tradition.”

Elio leaned down and kissed him. “I love you so much, Oliver. My plans next Summer are to be wherever you are.”

“I love you too, Elio.” Oliver said. “We should get to sleep. I have pancakes to make tomorrow morning.”

Elio frowned. “I don’t even get kisses?”

Oliver moved his hands up to hold Elio’s face. “Is that what you want, you poor neglected boy?”

Elio smiled and nodded. Oliver cupped his face, gently running a thumb along Elio’s bottom lip. When Oliver pulled him in, Elio held himself back long enough to lick from Oliver’s bottom lip to his top. Oliver laughed and kissed Elio’s lips.

“The first time you did that, I knew I was in trouble.” Oliver said.

“Yeah?” Elio teased.

“I’d underestimated your courage until that morning and then I realized I’d underestimated your confidence.”

“Why did you kiss me if you didn’t want it to go any further?” Elio asked.

“I knew if you kept after me, I was going to give in, and you showed no signs of stopping. So I thought . . . so I _told_ _myself_ maybe you just needed to get it out of your system. Maybe kissing me wouldn’t really be what you wanted.”

“Baby,” Elio said. It was rare that he called Oliver _baby_. “You are a brilliant man, but that was so stupid.”

Oliver laughed. “I think I just wanted to kiss you and that was the best justification I could come up with between the piazza and the berm. I don’t have your courage.”

“Maybe you didn’t then, but you had it when you came back for me.”

“So kiss me,” Oliver said.

Elio was only so delighted to lean in again and kiss Oliver. They both knew this would be more than a kiss. It always was. But Oliver still feigned surprise at the first small thrust of Elio’s hips.

Elio was already too far gone to say more than, “ _please_ ,” to which Oliver responded by gripping his ass and pulling Elio tighter against him.

“Is this how you want it?” Oliver asked as Elio rutted against him. Elio moaned and nodded into his neck. When Oliver slid one of his long fingers between his cheeks and ran it across his hole, Elio whimpered. He fell apart from there, Oliver doing most of the work of rocking Elio’s hips forward into him and then back against his fingers. He came quickly and then collapsed onto Oliver who held him tight and kissed the top of his head.

It was a minute before Elio could think or move. When he finally came back to himself, still wrapped tight in Oliver’s arms, he moved a hand down between their bodies to grip Oliver’s cock. Oliver was hard and moaned at the touch. Elio moved his face up to kiss Oliver while he stroked him. He knew Oliver liked that. Elio gradually picked up the pace until Oliver’s mouth finally went slack and then he kissed his neck, his collarbone as he continued to work him. “Elio . . . “ was the last thing Oliver said before he came.

Elio collapsed on his boyfriend again, suddenly ready for sleep. Oliver kissed him again and then slid out from under Elio and despite whines of protest, left the room and returned a moment later with a warm cloth. He cleaned up Elio and himself before climbing back under the covers and positioning a pliant Elio as his little spoon.

“Oliver?” Elio said.

“What, baby?”

“I like talking to you in bed at night. It’s my favorite time of day.”

He could feel Oliver smiling into him and then he placed a single kiss to the nape of his neck. “It’s my favorite too.”

Elio smiled into the dark. “Goodnight.”

“Night, baby.” Oliver said in his ear. “Dream of pancakes.”


	9. Meeting the Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio and Oliver meet each other's friends.

“So . . .” Elio started. “There’s a group of us going out after rehearsal on Thursday night for dinner and drinks.”

“Sounds like fun,” Oliver replied with a smile, looking up from his grading. They were sitting on the couch, Oliver upright and Elio lounging with his feet in Oliver’s lap.

“Will you come with me?” Elio asked.

Oliver squeezed his foot. “Of course. Can I hear some of the rehearsal or is it closed?”

“Why do you want to see the rehearsal when you’re coming to the performance?” Elio asked.

“I want to see what you’ve been working on.” Oliver answered. “The concert isn’t until November.”

Elio pulled himself up so that he could kiss Oliver’s cheek. “That’s very sweet. Thank you.”

Oliver smiled down at the stack of papers in his hand and went back to grading.

He had visited the Juilliard campus only a couple times. Once to buy a sweatshirt for Elio and another time to hear Elio practice. So when he arrived Thursday after work, Oliver wasn’t sure he was in the right place until he heard a swell of music. He followed the sound into the dim rehearsal hall and stood in the back.

The stage was chaotic with two pianos and more of every other instrument. People seemed to be coming and going from different areas, and Oliver spotted Elio when he moved from the left wing to take the place of someone at one of the pianos.

Despite the chaos, the result was beautiful, and Oliver tried to remain in the shadows while moving into a place where he could better see Elio as he played. He looked focused, but not as intense as he had sometimes seen him at the villa, playing for a small crowd of dinner guests or playing alone not knowing he was being watched.

Once rehearsal ended, Oliver went back outside to wait for Elio. He was watching the sun set across the campus when suddenly Elio was by his side.

“Hi, baby. Where are your friends?”

“They’ll meet us there.” He said. “I wanted you to myself for a minute.”

Oliver smiled. “You have me to yourself all the time.”

“I know. But now I have to share you for the night.”

“So dramatic.” Oliver said, but he was still smiling.

“Just a reminder . . .” Elio started. “I love them, but my friends are 22 and . . . ridiculous. If any of them say anything stupid to you, just know that they mean well.”

Oliver knocked his shoulder into Elio’s. “I was 22 once too, you know. And I wasn’t as mature as you.”

“You were the oldest 24 year old I’d ever met, so I don’t believe that.”

Oliver laughed. “I had a lot on my mind that Summer.”

“Mmhmm.” Elio replied.

“You guys sounded great. I just caught the end of rehearsal.”

“Thank you.” Elio said. “It’s starting to come together. The quintet I’m in still needs a lot of work, though.”

“I’m sure you’ll be amazing.”

“Okay, come on. They’re going to get suspicious if we take any longer.” Elio grabbed Oliver by the arm and they walked down the street to the bar.

The first thing they heard when they walked in the door was, “Holy shit. He wasn’t lying.” And suddenly there were at least eight sets of eyes on them.

Oliver just smiled and looked down at Elio. “Is that them?”

He nodded and took Oliver’s hand. “Hi guys. This is Oliver.”

There was a chorus of, “Hi,” and then an awkward silence.

“Well, don’t stare at him,” Elio said, pulling Oliver toward the two empty chairs saved for them. That seemed to launch everyone back into whatever conversations they were having before.

As soon as they were seated, a girl with blond hair sitting on the other side of the table leaned forward and said, “Oliver, your son is the cutest! I met him when Elio brought him to the practice rooms.”

Oliver smiled. “Thanks. You must be Jenny?”

“That’s me!” She said. “You guys should have seen him. He was acting really mature, but you could tell he was excited to be there with Elio.”

“He loves Elio,” Oliver replied. “Talks about him all the time.”

“Aww,” Jenny said. “He’s the oldest, right?”

“Yeah, Simon is four and my baby Noah is a year and a half.”

“Do you have any pictures?” Someone asked.

Oliver reached for his wallet and pulled out the pictures. They’re a bit bigger than this now—.”

“But they still look just like Oliver,” Elio interrupted.

Oliver grinned at him and rested his hand on Elio’s thigh. He hadn’t expected Elio’s young friends to be that interested in his sons, but several of them crowded around the pictures.

“I bet they’re going to be tall,” someone said. There were more people here than Elio had ever named specifically, so Oliver wasn’t yet sure who everyone was.

“Simon already is,” Jenny responded. “I was surprised when he said he was four. I have a brother who’s almost six and about the same height.”

As that conversation started to fade, a young guy sitting to Oliver’s left stuck his hand out and said, “I’m Joey. Elio and I have worked on some projects together.”

“Hey, yeah. He’s talked a lot about you.” Oliver said, and then talking to the girl next to him, “Are you Erin?”

“Yes,” Erin said. “Elio’s told us a lot about you too, but we didn’t believe most of it.”

Oliver laughed, which got Elio’s attention. He leaned across Oliver to join the conversation. “What are they saying about me?”

“Only that we thought you were making Oliver up,” Erin said to Elio and then turned back to Oliver, “Whenever he drinks, he talks about how much he loves you.”

“ . . . _and_ how good looking you are.” Joey supplied.

“ _Joey_ ,” Elio said, blushing.

Oliver grinned at Elio and then turned back to his friends. “This is all very good information. Thank you both.”

“Calm down, Elio. I think he knows how you feel.” Joey said. “What do you guys want to drink? I’ll grab you something.”

Oliver pointed at Joey’s half-empty beer and said, “That looks good. But, I can get it.”

Joey jumped up and slapped Oliver on the back. “This one’s on me. We practically dared Elio to bring you, so it’s only right.”

“Thank you,” Oliver said. “Next one’s on me.”

“ _Oliver_ ,” came a voice from the other side of the table. And then a singsongy: “Tell us how you met El-i-ooo.”

Suddenly all eyes were on him again, including Elio’s. “Well,” he started. “When I was working on my doctorate, I applied to spend a Summer in Italy at the family home of a well-known Classics professor. And I fell in love with his brilliant son.” Oliver looked at Elio and squeezed his thigh.

“Aww. _I_ want an Oliver.” Someone said and Oliver blushed.

“When Elio told that story,” Erin said, only loud enough for Oliver and Elio to hear. “It sounded a lot more . . . desperate.”

Oliver laughed. “He said he seduced me?”

“Yeah,” Joey replied, sitting down with their drinks. “We found that doubtful, knowing Elio.”

“ _Hey!_ ” Elio said and Joey shrugged.

“I liked him right away. But he was young, so I was trying to be careful and keep my distance, which Elio would not tolerate.”

“I knew what I wanted.” Elio said.

Oliver talked to Joey and Erin most of the night, and sometimes Jenny too. Elio bounced between them and the other side of the table. Once in a while, he would catch a piece of Elio’s conversations with others. He heard him say, “My mom calls him a movie star.”

Occasionally someone would shout down the table a question for Oliver, usually as a way of playfully teasing Elio. _Does Elio use a special conditioner to get curls like that?_ “Yes. He refuses to use my 2-in-1!” _When did you know Elio was a musical gen-i-usss?_ “The first time I heard him play. And again when I realized he was transcribing music for fun. And _again_ when he played Bach as other musicians would have played him.”

“I was just showing off for you.” Elio said.

“Well it worked.”

Oliver admired the ease with which Elio had established close friendships with classmates he had known for less than two months. He always seemed oblivious to his place in the young social scene of Crema. He certainly didn’t work as hard as Oliver had to charm people. But he had reasoned that everyone there had known Elio most of his life.

Now he had to accept that everyone found his boyfriend as lovable as he did. That filled Oliver with a kind of possessive pride. Not that he was unwilling to share Elio, but that he was proud that out of everyone, Elio chose him.

As happy as that made him and as content as he was with just Elio and his boys, Oliver knew it was important that they both have strong friendships.

“Hey,” Oliver said to Joey and Erin. “Do you guys want to come over for pizza sometime? We can do it when we have the kids, if you want. Or when it’s just us.”

“Yeah,” Erin replied. “That sounds like fun. I’d love to meet your sons.”

“I’ll talk to Elio, so he can arrange a time with you guys.” Oliver said.

“Talk to me about what?” Elio asked.

“Arranging a time for them to come over for pizza when we have the boys.”

Elio grinned at that and then turned back to the conversation he’d been having.

It was somewhere around his fourth beer that Oliver started to really feel it. This was not the light stuff he was used to drinking. Exhaustion was also starting to creep up on him. Elio leaned in and asked quietly, “Are you telling me it’s time to go?”

“What? _No_.” He said, trying to look more alert.

“Oliver, if your hand gets any higher on my leg, we’re going to have to leave immediately.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Oliver said. “Sorry.” His hand wasn’t even really on Elio’s thigh anymore, but resting between Elio’s legs while he absentmindedly thumbed at the inseam of his jeans. He pulled it back and then patted Elio’s knee before clasping his hands in his own lap.

“Come on,” Elio said. “Let’s go. You’re tired.”

“No,” Oliver said. “We can stay as long as you want.”

“We have,” Elio replied. “It’s almost 11 and you have to work tomorrow and then pick up the boys. We’ll both need our energy for that.”

“I can go if you want to stay longer with your friends.”

“ _Oliver_ ,” Elio said. He knew that tone meant the debate was over.

“Okay,” Oliver said. “Let’s go.”

They got a couple jeers as they were the first to leave, but they were all good natured. Oliver paid their tab and they waved goodbye to everyone before walking out into the cool night.

Oliver wrapped his arm around Elio’s back as they walked. “That was a lot of fun. I liked meeting your friends, Joey and Erin especially.”

Elio smiled and nodded. “We should have done this earlier. I just know you’re busy and wasn’t sure if you wanted to hang out with a bunch of grad students.”

“I do if they’re your friends.” Oliver said. “Tonight made me realize how much I want you to meet my friends too. I know it’s kind of last minute, but I might try to set something up for Saturday. Maybe a casual picnic in the park with some of my friends and their kids?”

“Yeah,” Elio nodded. “That would be cool. I want to meet them.”

When they got home, they went straight to the shower where they washed themselves and Oliver took care of Elio with the hand he’d been teasing him with all night.

In bed, Oliver wrapped his arms tight around his little spoon. Elio was still for a moment, but then turned around in Oliver’s arms, so they were facing each other.

“I know you’re tired, but can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course, baby. Is everything okay?” Oliver asked.

“Yes, I just . . . .” Elio started. “I don’t like it when you question whether I would rather spend time with my friends than with you.”

“What do you mean?” Oliver asked.

“You thinking I would want to stay at the bar instead of coming home with you. I know it’s a small thing and you were only being thoughtful, but . . . I had to live without you for five years. And sometimes . . . sometimes it feels like you forget that ever happened.”

“Baby . . . I’m sorry.” he said, pulling Elio tighter against him and silently holding him for a moment.“I just . . . I’m so happy I have you now that I do want to forget we were ever apart. But I don’t mean to deny it or the pain we both experienced. I remember everything and we can talk more about it if you want.”

“I think I just need you to acknowledge it and understand that . . . I love my friends and eventually I might stay at the bar while you go home to sleep, but I’m not ready for that yet. I need you close.”

Oliver smiled and kissed Elio’s forehead. “I can give you that.”

“Thank you,” Elio said. “I’m sorry I—.”

“No apologies.” Oliver interrupted.

“Always so many _rules_ with you,” Elio mumbled.

Oliver laughed at that. “I love you, baby. And I’ll stop pestering you about spending time with your friends. I’m only concerned because I know we both have always enjoyed our solitude and now we spend so much of our time alone together or with the boys. I want this relationship to last forever and always be healthy, and for that we need other people. You need people you can complain to about me.”

“I have my parents for that.” Elio said.

Oliver tickled Elio’s sides. “I’m . . . being . . . serious.”

“Okay, okay,” Elio said and Oliver let up. “You’re always thinking about the future when I’m stuck in the moment. I have friends here and in Italy, you know. Plus, my parents. I understand what you’re saying, but you don’t need to worry about me.”

“Okay,” Oliver said, kissing Elio’s temple.

“Who would you go to to complain about me?” Elio asked.

“Probably your parents.” Oliver said, grabbing Elio’s wrists before he could retaliate.

“You could, you know. They love you.”

“I love them.” Oliver said. “But I think I need to put a little more effort into some of my friendships. It’s not unlike me to occasionally disappear off the face of the earth for a while, but it’s kind of a shitty thing to do to people who have been there for me through a lot.”

“Saturday will be a good start then.” Elio said.

+++

Oliver called around on Friday to see if he could wrangle a few of his friends and their families for Saturday. He debated whether to include his colleagues as well, but decided to go just for a small group of grad school friends to start. It was easier than expected and they quickly dismissed his apologies. They were eager to see Oliver and meet the famous Elio, but equally grateful to have something to do with their kids on a Saturday.

Each family would bring their own lunch and then a side to share, and Oliver imagined packing the perfect picnic with gourmet sandwiches and many sides, but he didn’t even have time to get to the grocery store so they settled for picking up fried chicken on their way to the park. For some reason, Simon insisted on carrying the tub of potato salad they were bringing to share. Elio had a more secure hold on the friend chicken and Oliver was carrying Noah.

“It’s just three families,” Oliver said. “Mark, Jay, and Susie I went to grad school with. Mark has twin daughters a little younger than Simon. He’s divorced too, but he has the girls this weekend. Jay’s wife is very pregnant with their first. He wasn’t sure if she would make it. And then Susie and her husband have a little boy Noah’s age.

Elio nodded. He had been very supportive of Oliver setting this up, but now he seemed nervous.

“Simon, this park has a playground, but you need Elio or I watching if you want to go play. We might be busy chatting with people, but I promise you can play before we go, okay?”

“Okay,” He said, but Oliver wasn’t sure he understood, because he was so focused on holding the potato salad upright and not dropping it.

It had been optimistic to plan a picnic in the park in October, but it was a beautiful, sunny day and warm enough outside. When they arrived, Oliver spotted Susie and her husband laying a blanket out on the grass and waved.

“Hey,” Oliver said.

Susie dropped her side of the blanket and ran to give Oliver a hug. “It’s so good to _see_ you. This little nugget too,” she said, patting Noah’s head. “And you must be Elio!” She let go of Oliver and hugged Elio, who looked surprised, but hugged her back.

“Susie?” He said.

“Yes,” she replied. “So happy to meet you!”

Mark and Jay arrived together with their spouses, and things quickly grew chaotic with all the greetings and introductions, not to mention the kids running around. Oliver lost track of Elio in all the noise, but was relieved to find him engaged in conversation with Mark and Susie’s husband.

Noah squirmed in his arms, wanting to be put down, so Oliver worked with Susie to get the blanket spread out and then put Noah down. He pulled himself up to his feet and was off running. Oliver would have to keep a close eye on him now that he was so mobile.

The potato salad had made it to the table and Jay was giving Simon high fives. He had been the first kid born in Oliver’s friend group, so many of his friends had watched him grow before they were distracted by their own families. Simon often took a while to warm up again, but Jay was good at getting past that.

Oliver went to join Elio, placing a hand on his lower back. The conversation was about classical music, though Susie’s husband seemed more interested in the particulars of Juilliard. Oliver stood silently pleased at seeing Elio interact with his friends.

They all soon sat down to eat, spreading more blankets out on the grass. Simon was playing a game of tag with Mark’s twins, running in circles around the blankets until Oliver could convince him to come eat. Noah, he had to sit in his lap and feed small pieces of chicken.

“Oliver,” Jay said. “You didn’t tell me Elio was Samuel Perlman’s son. I had to find out from Mark!”

“You didn’t put that together?” Susie asked. “Who else would he be visiting in Italy?”

“Are you all familiar with his work?” Elio asked.

“Yes!” Jay said. “I haven’t followed his archaeology research as closely, but I used him a lot in my first couple years of grad school before I narrowed my subject area. And I’m sure we all applied to go to Italy at some point.”

“Oliver was so weird when he came back that I always assumed he had a bad experience, but—.” Mark said.

“The bad part was that I couldn’t bring Elio back with me,” Oliver interrupted, taking Elio’s hand and grinning at him. He knew it was a sensitive subject given their conversation the night before, but he was relieved when Elio grinned back.

“Yeah, it’s all starting to make a lot more sense.” Mark said.

“Elio, what have you done to Oliver? I’ve never seen him like this, smiling like an idiot.” Susie laughed.

“Daddy, what does that mean?” Simon asked. “What did Elio do?”

“He made me fall in love with him, buddy.” Oliver answered. Simon seemed satisfied with that answer and took another bite of chicken.

Elio blushed and shook his head. “So . . .” he said, desperate to change the subject. “Tell me what Oliver was like when you all first met him.”

“Well, we’ll have to get drinks some time if you want the whole story,” Jay said. “But the kid-friendly version is that he hasn’t changed all that much. He’d stay out late partying with us and then still wake up early to go jogging.”

“Of course,” Elio laughed.

“He was always taking all our money until we learned not to play poker with him,” Mark said. "But, he was the only one of us who could cook, so we took advantage of that."

“He always knew what he wanted,” Susie said. “And he was much more savvy than anyone else in our program about playing the academic game.”

“What do you mean?” Elio asked.

“Well, I was just there because I was interested in philosophy and literature, and my undergrad professors had encouraged me to go to grad school. _Some_ people made a point of studying the most obscure philosophers.”

“Hey!” Jay said playfully.

Susie shrugged at him as if to say _you know it’s true_. “Oliver always loved Heraclitus and the pre-Socratics, but he also thought about what someone might actually hire him to teach. We all knew two professors in the department were retiring the year we were set to graduate, but Oliver is the only one who got one of the positions.”

“Smart,” Elio said, patting Oliver on his knee.

“Very,” Susie replied. “And don’t think people didn’t resent him for it.”

“Not me, of course.” Mark joked.

Oliver was feeling embarrassed and tried to shift the attention. “I think there’s at least one retirement coming up.”

“Let us know when they post the position.” Mark asked.

“I will,” Oliver replied.

“Daddy, can I go play now?” Simon asked.

“Yeah, just stay close.”

“But I want to play on the playground.” Simon said.

“Not yet. Elio and I are still eating.” Oliver replied.

“But it’s just right there. You can _see_ me.”

“Simon, we talked about this on the way here. If you listen to me, then I promise you’ll have plenty of time to play before we go.”

“When?” Simon asked.

Oliver took a deep breath to keep from losing his patience. Elio caught his eye and with a look, silently asked if he could interject. Oliver nodded.

“Simon,” Elio said. “I’m just finishing my lunch, but I will take you in ten minutes if you can play around here until then.”

“Okay,” Simon grumbled, sitting down next to Elio.

As promised, ten minutes later, Elio took a still-grumpy Simon to the play area. Noah toddled after them until Elio saw him coming and stopped to wait. Still not steady on his feet, Noah fell and Elio got him right back on his feet before he could cry.

“He’s good with them,” Jay said, looking in the same direction as Oliver.

“He is,” Oliver replied. “You’re great with kids too. You’re going to be a fantastic dad.”

“Thanks,” Jay grinned. “That was the response I was really after.”

Oliver slapped him on the back. “Sorry I’ve been MIA. I’m here if you need anything.”

“It’s all right.” Jay replied. “We figured either things were going really well with Elio or really badly.”

“Really well.” Oliver said. “Really, really well.”

“You’re right, Suze.” Jay said. “I’ve never seen him like this.”

15 minutes later, Simon came running back to the blanket with Elio and Noah following behind him. “How was it?” Oliver asked.

“So fun! I went down the slide on my own, but Ewio and Nohy went together. Ewio said we can _all_ go again before we leave. You too, daddy.”

When Elio put Noah down on the ground, he went straight for Susie’s son, who was pulling up grass, and Elio sat down next to Oliver.

“Thank you,” Oliver said.

Elio smiled. “I promised Simon you’d go down the slide with us.”

Oliver laughed. “Yeah, he told me. Thanks for that.”

Noah grabbed a patch of grass and took off running only to take a hard fall. Elio jumped up, but Susie reached Noah first and picked him up as he was starting to cry. He calmed down quickly and smiled when Susie bounced him on her hip, but when he saw Elio, he reached out for him. Susie handed him over and returned to the blanket.

It was a small moment, but Oliver knew it was significant to Elio, who was now walking around with Noah in his arms, wiping away the toddler’s tears. He had joked a couple times that Noah seemed content to be held by any adult, but he had just reached out to Elio for comfort when he was already being held.

Oliver’s heart soared for Elio and for his son.

After another hour, Noah and Susie’s son were both ready for their naps, so they all went their separate ways, promising to do this again soon. They let Simon play on the playground a little longer and all went down the slide together. Noah used his last bit of energy to giggle at that, and was soon asleep in Oliver’s arms as they walked home.

Simon was holding onto Elio’s hand, but seemed lost in his own world.

“I liked seeing you with your friends,” Elio said. “I know this is weird, but I had the same feeling I did the first time I was in your apartment, _your_ space. It made me realize you didn’t just appear in Italy out of nowhere—there are people who have known you for a long time. Other than Rachel, I hadn’t met any of them before.”

“Huh,” Oliver said. “I hadn’t considered that. So you thought I just appeared out of nowhere in 1983?”

Elio laughed. “Look at you. My seventeen year old brain definitely could have dreamed you up. I mostly lived in my head anyway.”

Oliver smiled. “I’m real.”

“Hey, what are the boys going to be for Halloween? Susie asked me.”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to Rachel about it.”

“Susie’s son is going as the moon, so she has to be a rocket and her husband is going to be Earth.”

“I refuse a group costume.” Oliver said.

Elio laughed. “Could be fun. Maybe Rachel will be up for it.”

“Elio, don’t give her any ideas.”

Elio laughed. “Let’s get drinks with your friends some week we don’t have the boys. I want to hear alllll of Jay’s stories about you.”

“Oh, god.” Oliver joked. “I’m regretting everything right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler: babies in costumes coming soon.


	10. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio celebrates his first Halloween with Oliver and the boys.

When the boys were with Rachel, she would call every few days, so they could speak to their dad. Oliver and Elio would _speak_ to Simon and then mostly listen to Noah babble. They did the same for Rachel when they had the boys, because a week was too long to go without any contact.

That’s how, despite only having met a couple times, Rachel and Elio became phone friends.

He would often answer the phone when she called, and their conversations before she put the boys on grew longer and longer. Rachel was friendly and fun to talk to, but they mostly stuck to light topics. Despite their easy rapport, Elio felt there were some things that Rachel and Oliver had to figure out as parents and that he should stay out of.

Oliver did not burden Elio with any of the major responsibilities of parenthood, but he also didn’t acknowledge these boundaries that Elio danced around. By the third time in a few days that Elio asked Oliver whether he had talked to Rachel about Halloween, Oliver had gently encouraged him to ask her himself.

So when Rachel called on Monday night, Elio answered the phone. After talking a little about the weekend, he casually asked, “Hey, I was wondering what the plan was for Halloween.”

“Are you guys wanting to take the boys out?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah,” Elio said. “Um, I was hoping . . . we could all go together?”

“That would be fun!” She said.

“Have you . . . do you have plans for the boys’ costumes?”

“I saw the cutest little mouse costume for Noah in the window of a children’s store, but didn’t have time to go in.” Rachel said.

“That sounds adorable,” Elio said. “This will be my first American Halloween since I was a little kid, so I’m excited.”

“Well, tell me if this is too much,” Rachel said. “But why don’t we have Oliver watch the kids some night this week and we’ll go shop for costumes?”

“That sounds like fun.” Elio said. “I could do tomorrow or Wednesday.”

“Wednesday works best for me! The store closes pretty early, so we can meet there and then grab some dinner if you want.”

“Perfect!” Elio said. “Okay.”

Rachel put Simon on after that and Elio talked to him for a bit before he passed the phone to Oliver. The conversation was short, but Elio still had enough time to grow nervous about what he had agreed to. He hadn’t asked Oliver if he was okay watching the boys on Wednesday night and he didn’t know how he would feel about Elio hanging out with his ex-wife. Rachel and Oliver were obviously on good terms, but they had been married and gone through a divorce not that long ago.

Elio was in the kitchen making himself a cup of tea when Oliver hung up the phone.

“Do you want some tea?” Elio asked.

“Yeah. Thanks, baby.”

Elio prepared a cup for Oliver and brought it to the living room where he was sitting on the couch reading.

“So . . .” Elio started, sitting down next to Oliver and sipping his own cup of tea. “I talked to Rachel about Halloween.”

“What’d she say?”

“I suggested that we all take the boys trick-or-treating together. Is that okay?” Elio already knew it was. They’d talked about it the second and third time he’d asked Oliver about Halloween.

“Of course.”

“I also agreed to go shopping with Rachel for the costumes. Do you think . . . would you mind watching the boys on Wednesday when we go?”

Oliver looked up from his book. “Do you want to go? You could have said no, you know. You still can.”

“I want to go,” Elio replied. “I just didn’t know how you would feel about it.”

“Whatever you want, baby.” Oliver said, watching him closely. “Just don’t feel like you need to be friendly with Rachel if you’re not ready for that. You don’t need to . . . .”

“What?” Elio asked when Oliver trailed off.

“You don’t need to prove anything to me or her.” Oliver said. “You don’t need to be okay with everything.”

Elio thought about that and considered his own feelings. “The only thing I want to prove to either of you is that I love the boys and I want the best for them.”

“I know that, Elio. Come here.” Oliver lifted up his arm, so Elio could snuggle into his side. They were like that for a while until Elio went to go take a shower.

He had just pulled on boxers and the Columbia sweatshirt when Oliver finished turning out the lights in the apartment and joined him in the bedroom.

“Is it warm enough in here for you?” He asked and Elio nodded. Oliver had a lot of ways of showing affection, but big among them were making sure that Elio was well fed and always warm enough.

They were quiet as they each got ready for bed and climbed under the covers. Oliver turned off the remaining light, but neither of them moved into a sleeping position. Instead Oliver held up his arm again and Elio cuddled into his side.

Elio knew Oliver was waiting for him to speak, but he waited patiently.

“I didn’t get to keep any part of you when you left.” Elio said finally. “The only proof I even had that you were there was your shirt. It hurt knowing someone else got to have all of you forever. I don’t know how to describe the feeling.”

Oliver didn’t speak, but he placed a gentle kiss to Elio still-damp curls.

“I tried not to think about her. I didn’t even know her name. But it hurt just knowing she existed.” Elio said.

Oliver wrapped his arms around him more securely.

“The weird thing is that, I don’t think of Rachel as that same person. Maybe because I never saw you two together as a couple or because I know more about your relationship now. It doesn’t bother me to get to know Rachel and I think it would be best for all of us.”

“I only want you to do it if you think it’s what’s best for you.”

“I think it is.” Elio said.

“Okay,” Oliver said. “I’ll stop being so protective.”

“What are you trying to protect me from?”

“I’ve asked a lot of you stepping into this life with two kids and an ex-wife. I just want to be sure you have everything _you_ need and you’re happy.”

“I’m happy.” Elio said. “I’ve never been this happy or . . . satisfied in my life.”

“Satisfied?” Oliver asked with a smirk Elio couldn’t see, but knew was there. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Elio said. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Sex?”

“ _Oliverrrr_.” Elio hid his face in his boyfriend’s chest.

Oliver laughed and pulled Elio on top of him. “I’ve never had this either and I didn’t know I’d been missing it.”

Elio puffed out a breath. “I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you too, baby. So much.” Oliver said in his ear and placed a kiss in his favorite spot.

+++

Despite what he had told Oliver, Elio was a little nervous as he walked to where he had agreed to meet Rachel. He knew he was in the right place when he saw the costumes in the window. He’d been waiting for almost ten minutes when he heard the click of heels on the pavement and looked up to see Rachel running toward him.

“I’m so sorry, Elio. I can never get out of work on time these days.” She was wearing a well-tailored suit and her hair was in a sleek bun.

“No problem,” Elio said. He opened the door to the store and held it open for her.

“Thanks so much for coming with me for this.” Rachel said. “Things have just been so busy. I’m sure all the other moms at Simon’s preschool have been planning their costumes for weeks.”

Elio didn’t know what to say to that, but he felt his nervous energy slipping away. Rachel’s self-deprecation was disarming.

“Here it is!” Rachel said. “She’d gone straight to one of the racks and was now holding up a little mouse costume.

“That’s so cute.”

“Isn’t it?” Rachel replied. “I hope he’s okay with the hood. He was a little pumpkin last year, but he was just a baby.”

“What about Simon?”

“I asked him this morning and he said he wanted to be a fireman. If we can find him a coat and hat, he’s got rain boots he can wear with them.”

They were able to find a fireman’s hat, but had to go to another store for the rest of the costume.

“Are we sure they only need one costume each? I want to buy all of them.” Elio said.

Rachel laughed. “It’s so hard not to buy every cute little thing, but they outgrow it all so quickly.”

“I can’t believe how much Noah has changed just in the last two months. He was a baby and now Oliver calls him his little teenager.”

“Any day now he’s going to start speaking in full sentences.” Rachel said. “That’s how it was with Simon.”

“I’m very curious what he’ll have to say.” Elio said.

“Me too, but he’s my baby. Part of me just wants him to remain little forever.”

“He’ll always be your baby.”

“Thank you, Elio. You’re sweet.” Rachel said. “Let’s go get dinner. I’m starving. The place next door has a bit of everything. Is that okay?”

They made their way next door and were quickly seated at a table. Rachel ordered a drink, so Elio did too. “So are you still liking New York?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he answered. “I still have no idea where I’m going most of the time. It’s very different from Milan.”

“Is that where you were living? I thought you were out in the country.”

“We have a villa in the country where we spend summers and some time in the winter too, but my father teaches in Milan and that’s mostly where I grew up.”

“Are you going home during your break from school?” Rachel asked.

“No, my parents are going to come here. I didn’t want to, um . . . be away from Oliver, and I really want them to meet Simon and Noah. I hope that’s not weird—.”

“Elio, no. Of course not. Oliver speaks so highly of your parents. They’ve come up a number of times when we’ve talked about how we want to raise the boys.”

“Really?” Elio asked.

“Yes,” Rachel said. “Especially about open communication.”

Elio smiled. “So, um, I know you’re a lawyer, but what kind of law do you practice?”

“It’s corporate law. We mostly stay out of the courtroom, but I actually had to go to court today.”

“Do you like it?” Elio asked.

“I’m really happy at my new firm.” Rachel said. “I had to deal with some assholes at my last one. They wouldn’t promote me because they said their clients wouldn’t want to work with a woman.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah,” she said. “By the time they told me what was really going on, I was almost relieved, because I was killing myself for that place and not getting anywhere. When I confronted them, they changed their reasoning and said that as a young mom, they didn’t think I’d be able to work enough hours. Like I wasn’t already working 70 a week! Sorry, it still gets me mad.”

“No, I don’t blame you. That’s bullshit.”

“Thank you!” She said, taking a sip of her drink. “Elio . . . ?”

“What?”

“Oliver was worried I’d scare you away before you even got here, so he’ll probably hate me saying this. But I just want you to know I’m really happy for the both of you. I know you probably weren’t dreaming in Italy of spending time with Oliver’s ex-wife, but I’m happy you’re here.”

Elio held up his drink to cheers and Rachel smiled and tapped their glasses. “Thank you. I’m really happy to be here. I hope we can continue to do things together like this and be there for the boys.”

“Of course,” she said.

They were on their second drink when Rachel made a joke about being single forever, and before he could think better of it, Elio asked, “You’re not dating anyone?”

Rachel was unfazed by the question. Elio was pretty sure he could ask her anything. “There’s a man I see sometimes when I don’t have the boys, but no, I’m not interested in anything serious. I’d like more kids some day, but a husband seems . . . superfluous.”

Elio laughed.

“I’m sure I’ll find someone eventually, but I’m not ready for all of that again.” She said.

“I hope it wasn’t rude that I asked—.”

“No, please,” Rachel interrupted. “Not rude at all. I’m just happy right now with my job and my kids. I don’t need anything else.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re happy.”

“Thank you, Elio. You’re really so sweet.” She said. “We should probably get going. I want to see the boys before bedtime.”

When they arrived at Rachel’s apartment, where Oliver was watching the boys, they found him on the couch with Noah in his lap and Simon at his side. The boys were already in their pajamas and Oliver was reading to them. It was a sight Elio should be used to, but it still took his breath away. Elio got a chance to hug the boys before he and Oliver left to let Rachel put them to bed.

He wished they could take the boys home, and by the look on Oliver’s face, he felt the same way. But it was Wednesday, and they would have the boys again on Friday.

“How was it?” Oliver asked as they walked home in the dark.

“It was fun!” Elio said. “We got the cutest costumes. I can’t wait to see the boys in them.”

“I found out today that the department is doing a little thing for the children of faculty where the kids go to each office to trick-or-treat.”

“Are you going to take the boys?”

“It’s 3-5. I don’t think I’ll have time after class to get them from daycare and bring them all the way back to Columbia.”

“I could bring them by if you want,” Elio said.

“Really?” Oliver said.

“Yeah, I could pick them up from daycare and bring them to Columbia. Then we can meet Rachel somewhere before we take them trick-or-treating in the neighborhood.”

“Okay,” Oliver said, squeezing Elio’s hand.

“Okay.”

+++

It was usually Oliver’s job to get the boys up and ready on Monday mornings, but it was Halloween, and Elio was excited to get them dressed in their costumes. Simon had insisted on wearing his fireman’s coat all weekend, but this was the first time he’d be wearing the whole costume with hat and boots. Rachel had tried the mouse costume on Noah to be sure it fit, but Elio hadn’t seen him in it yet.

He got Simon up first and brought him out to the kitchen for cereal. He then went back for Noah, who clung to Elio tightly while he reluctantly woke up. Oliver was out of the shower by then and put Noah in his high chair to feed him breakfast.

Once Simon was done with his breakfast, Elio got him dressed in his costume and he ran around the apartment putting out fires.

Noah was still sleepy when Elio put him in his costume. He didn’t seem to mind the hood that had little ears on it. He looked so adorable that Elio couldn’t help but use Oliver’s trick and tickle him to make him smile. The sight melted his heart and Elio’s own smile was so big when he brought mouse Noah out to Oliver.

Oliver put his coffee down and held out his arms. “Oh, my little mouse.” Noah looked confused at the way they were fawning over him as he rested his head on Oliver’s shoulder and yawned.

Elio and Oliver had put their own costumes together last minute. It turned out that Oliver had a small collection of hats that Elio had no idea about.He wore khaki pants, a kaki-colored shirt, and a wide-brimmed brown fedora. Elio told him if he wanted everyone to know he was Indiana Jones, he’d have to carry a whip. Oliver made no comment, but winked at him.

Elio’s costume was a little less inspired. He borrowed a cowboy hat and blue bandana from Oliver, and at the last minute on Sunday night, he’d run back to his room at Edna’s to grab his boots and a belt.

Oliver had not been happy with him leaving right after they put the boys to sleep, even when he promised he’d be right back. Oliver seemed to have grow weary of any mention of the room at Edna’s and didn’t understand why Elio didn’t just bring all his stuff over. But by the time Elio was home again and sliding into bed next to Oliver, he seemed over his annoyance.

Elio found it hard to focus on school that day, but he didn’t seem to be the only one. When his last class was over, he went to a practice room for an hour, and then finally went to pick up the boys from daycare.

Noah was playing with crayons, drawing on a large piece of paper they had stretched out across a table, and Simon was running around with some of the other kids. Elio thought he might be reluctant to leave his friends, but he ran towards the gate when he saw Elio.

“Ewio, can we go trick-o-treating now?” Simon asked.

“Yeah. We’re going to go to your daddy’s work first and trick-or-treat there, and then in the neighborhood after dinner.”

“Yay!”

The sound of his brother’s voice caught his attention and Noah started running towards them. It made Elio nervous the way he would take off on his unsteady legs with no ability to stop himself, but whenever he fell, it just took a little comforting before he was off running again. This time Elio scooped him up and they started their trip to Columbia.

He had never been to Oliver’s office before, and he was a little nervous to meet some of Oliver’s colleagues. Elio had been around academics all his life, but meeting his father’s dinner guests felt different than meeting the people his boyfriend worked with every day.

Oliver met them outside and then led the way to the philosophy department. He carried Noah and Elio held Simon’s hand. It was a bit of a blur to Elio when Oliver first started introducing him to people, but he quickly realized, “This is Elio” meant the person already knew who he was and “this is _my boyfriend_ Elio” meant that they didn’t.

There was at least one raised eyebrow from an older faculty member, but Oliver quickly moved on, pulling Elio with him. They stopped at each office, letting the boys walk in and say trick-or-treat. Elio felt proud watching the boys interact with everyone. Simon was often shy with new people, but the excitement of it all seemed to override that. Noah would say something that vaguely resembled “trick-or-treat,” but it appeared he was mimicking his brother and not understanding the words.

They walked into another office and Oliver said, “Jennifer, meet Elio.”

“Elio!” A very pregnant woman got out from behind her desk and walked toward Elio for a hug. “So great to finally meet you.”

Jennifer was Oliver’s closest colleague. They’d started at the same time and Elio had heard all about the ways they had worked together to keep each other sane and advance within the department.

“Wonderful to meet you!” Elio said. He already felt more at ease with Jennifer than he had any of the other people he’d met in the last 20 minutes.

Jennifer soon moved her attention to the boys, holding Noah for a bit and asking Simon about his costume. Before they left, Oliver showed Elio his office. It was next door to Jennifer’s and the same small size. Elio felt proud of Oliver, seeing him in his office where he was a professor at one of the most prestigious universities in the country.

Oliver had once been so mysterious to Elio, but now he thought of him mostly as his boyfriend. A father. The man who made him pancakes on Saturday morning and did not like to sleep without his little spoon. He knew that Oliver worked hard, but it was easy to forget he had this whole other life as a successful scholar and professor. It was something Elio admired and he liked for the boys to be seeing Oliver at work. He remembered so often playing in his father’s office as a kid, sitting down to do his own “work.”

“What?” Oliver asked, as Elio did a typically bad job of hiding his thoughts.

“Nothing. I just like seeing you here like this.”

“In my office, you mean? Or wearing this hat?”

“Both.” Elio said with a smile.

Oliver shook his head. “Let’s get out of here.”

The plan was that they would go home and order pizza and Rachel would meet them there. She arrived at the same time as the pizza, wearing a black outfit and cat ears. Simon ate quickly and Elio noticed him studying them all, his eyes moving between Oliver, Rachel, and Elio.

“Simon, come here. Let me button up your coat. It’s going to be cold outside.” Rachel said.

Simon slid off his chair and went to his mom. “Elio and I picked out this costume for you together. Do you like it?”

Simon nodded. “It’s like Teddy’s.”

Rachel smiled. “It is. Can you go grab Teddy?”

Simon ran to the boys’ room and quickly returned with his bear, who was dressed as a fireman.

“I want a picture of this!” Elio said and Simon smiled with his bear in his arms.

“Oh!” Rachel said. “I brought some face paint for our mouse!” She grabbed her purse and sat down in front of Noah, who was still in his high chair. He giggled, but mostly sat still as his mom gave him a mouse nose and whiskers “This will come off with just soap and water.”

“Are we ready?” Oliver asked, putting his hat back on.

“No, we need to take pictures first.” Elio said, picking up his camera again. He took a picture of Rachel with Noah, the boys together, Oliver with each of his sons and then the three of them together, and then finally Rachel insisted on taking a picture of Elio and Oliver with the boys.

When they finally got out of the apartment, their first stop was the friendly neighbors who lived down the hall and always said hi and talked to Simon when they ran into them in the elevator. Simon told them all about being a fireman and they added the first candy to his bag.

Out on the street, they stopped at a couple single-family homes and businesses that were heavily decorated. Between the three adults, they took turns carrying Noah and holding Simon’s hand.

The streets were crowded and loud, but Simon was excited and led the way. They had been out for almost an hour when Elio began to notice a change in him. He had grown quiet and was now walking beside Elio instead of pulling him along. When a loud group of teenagers passed them on the sidewalk, he gripped Elio’s hand tightly.

Elio leaned down as they walked, trying to get a read on Simon. “Are you okay, buddy?”

Simon nodded and gave a broken, “Yeah.”

“Are you sure?” Elio asked and Simon nodded again silently.

Looking back, Elio caught Oliver’s eye and motioned toward Simon.But Oliver did not understand. “What, baby?”

“I’ll take Noah,” Elio said. “Simon needs you.”

It was a surprisingly smooth handoff. Elio grabbed Noah with one arm and Oliver took Simon’s hand then quickly picked him up. Elio fell in line with Rachel, while Oliver walked ahead with Simon in his arms. Elio watched as Simon wrapped his arms tightly around Oliver’s neck.

“I hope he’s okay,” Elio said.

“He’s probably just overwhelmed and tired.” Rachel said. “Oliver’s good at calming him down.”

“He uses the same technique on me when I’m anxious.”

Rachel laughed. “Our mouse looks like he’s getting tired too.”

“This cowboy is as well,” Elio said.

“Yeah, this cat also. It’s been a long day.” Rachel said.

“Oh, I didn’t even put together that you’re a cat and mouse!"

Rachel laughed again. “To be honest, it was the easiest costume I could think of.”

“I threw this together last night,” Elio said, gesturing to his own costume.

“I recognize the hat!” Rachel said. “I can’t tell you how many times I tried to convince Oliver to get rid of it until I realized that I think it was his grandpa’s.”

“Really?” Elio asked. “He didn’t say.” Oliver had answered every question Elio had asked about his family, but it was rare that he volunteered information about them and there was a lot Elio still didn’t understand.

“When his bubbie died a couple years ago, he got some of his grandparents’ stuff. Whatever his mom didn’t want. I think the hats appeared around that time, so they were probably his grandpa’s.”

Elio held Noah with one arm and with the other, he pushed the hat down more securely on his head.

Simon rallied and when Rachel said it was time to go home, he successfully negotiated for one more stop. His bag was full of candy and Oliver had already told him he would only get to have a couple pieces a day.

After their final stop, Rachel hugged the boys tight. Elio could see it was hard for her to say goodbye to them and he understood. They parted ways and Elio and Oliver began their walk home. The families were slowly starting to disappear from the streets and more young people were just starting their evening.

“What are your friends doing tonight?” Oliver asked.

“I think Jenny and her roommate are having a party.”

Oliver nodded. “Well, I’m glad you’re here with us.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it. Oliver, you know—.”

“I know.” Oliver interrupted.

Both boys were exhausted by the time they got home. Elio wiped what was left of the mouse whiskers from Noah’s face and Oliver bribed Simon into taking his bath by promising he could have one piece of candy before bed.

After the boys were asleep, Elio went to change his clothes and he came back to the living room to find Oliver digging through Simon’s bag of candy. “I’m going to tell him about this!”

“He’s not going to notice one Snickers. Or a KitKat. It’s more responsible for me to eat it than let my growing boy have all this sugar.”

Elio laughed. “I can’t wait until he gets older and turns that logic on you.”

“What do you want? Butterfinger?SweetTarts?”

“Are you just making things up now?” Elio asked.

“No, they’re real candy.” Oliver laughed. “I forget sometimes that my boyfriend is Italian.”

“And French. And American!”

“Not American enough to know the candy.”

“Come on, SweetTart. It’s time for bed.” Elio said, walking down the hall and knowing Oliver would follow once he locked the door, turned off the lights, and checked that the thermostat was set correctly.


	11. The Last One at Daycare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio races to pick up Simon and Noah from daycare.

Elio was at home working on a transcription when Oliver called. Jennifer was sick and she had asked him to cover her class, but the class ran until six, so he’d need someone to pick up the boys. Elio had rehearsal until 5:30, but if he left as quickly as possible, he could make it to the daycare center in time to pick up the boys before they closed.

Rehearsal ran a few minute long, as it always did, and a classmate stopped Elio to talk about a project they were working on together for class. He finally got away after promising they’d meet the next day to talk more. Elio was already stressed about the time when he got to the subway station, and his anxiety only increased as fifteen minutes passed with no sign of the train.

He ran back up the stairs and searched for a cab, but traffic wasn’t moving, so he started walking and then running. He didn’t know what would happen if no one was there to pick up the boys by 6:30. They would probably call Rachel and Elio cringed at the thought of her knowing he had not been there. He finally was able to catch a cab that took him the remaining two miles.

When he walked into the daycare center, he immediately spotted Simon who must have been staring out the window and was now looking at Elio with big watery eyes. Elio apologized to the staff for being so late, though he was relieved to see there were still at least a couple other kids there. Having spotted him from his seat on the floor among the blocks, Noah held up his arms and Elio picked him up and then knelt down in front of Simon who was still watching him closely.

“Hi Buddy. Are you okay?” Simon nodded, but big tears started falling from his eyes. “I’m so sorry Simon. I know you were expecting your dad and I didn’t mean to get here so late.”

Simon nodded his little head again, but the tears continued to fall. Elio wanted to comfort him, but he knew they needed to leave the center, so he said, “Hold on buddy,” and stood up with Noah still in his arms, grabbed Simon’s hand, said goodbye to the staff who held the door open for him, and quickly led Simon outside. He held his hand tight as they walked to the park across the street.

Grateful when he spotted an empty bench, Elio sat down, propped Noah up next to him, and opened his arms to a still-crying Simon who walked into them. “It’s okay,” he said. Simon wrapped his arms around his neck, so Elio lifted him up into his lap and hugged him tight. He’d never held Simon like this before and was surprised at how small he felt in his arms despite his long limbs. “It’s okay,” he repeated.

They were like that for a few minutes before Noah, who had been quietly amusing himself by watching the other people in the park, started growing fussy. Simon was still upset and alternating between quiet whimpers and fresh tears.

“Hold on, buddy,” Elio said again, setting Simon back down on his feet. He picked up Noah who calmed down quickly, reached for Simon’s hand, and began walking quickly toward the crosswalk. Simon was still crying, but he allowed Elio to pull him along.

They were only two blocks from home, but Elio had never felt so helpless. He wished he was strong like Oliver and could carry both boys at once, but he was already struggling with his bag hanging across his body, Noah on his hip, and Simon clinging tightly to his other hand. He moved as quickly as he could with the two boys, trying to calm Simon down or at least distract him by talking continuously about how they were almost home and they’d have pizza for dinner and he’d see his daddy soon.

Elio was exhausted by the time they made it home, but he acted quickly, settling Noah on the living room floor with his trains and picking up Simon to hold him in his tired arms while he called in the pizza order. Once he hung up the phone, he sat on the couch with Simon in his lap. He was still crying and Elio held him tight and repeated, “You’re okay, you’re okay. We’re home now.” Simon turned his face into Elio’s shirt and continued to whimper.

“Did something happen at daycare?” Elio asked. Simon shook his head. “You were just upset because I was late?” Simon nodded into him. “You know I would never forget you?”

“Yeah,” Simon said quietly.

“Okay, well you just feel your feelings.” It was a rough translation of something his mother had said to him as a child.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when Oliver walked through the front door with a smile on his face to find Elio comforting Simon. His smile barely faltered as he put down his stuff and picked up Noah who had toddled towards him. “Everything okay?” he asked.

Elio gave him a pathetic look and said only, “I was late getting to daycare. Pizza’s on the way.”

Oliver nodded and bounced Noah on his hip before setting him down again on the floor.

“You want to go to your daddy?” Elio asked Simon.

He didn’t answer, but tightened his arms around Elio’s neck and turned his face into his chest again. He had at least stopped crying. Elio shot Oliver a helpless look, but Oliver gave him a reassuring smile and sat down on the floor with Noah.

Elio thought a change of scenery might help, so he said, “Come on, buddy. Let’s go change into some comfy clothes.” Simon didn’t object as Elio scooted to the edge of the couch and then stood up with Simon in his arms. They stopped first in the bathroom where Elio wetted a washcloth with warm water and wiped the tears from Simon’s face.

In the boys’ room, Simon was quiet, but cooperated as Elio changed him into his pajamas and then lifted his arms like Noah to indicate he wanted Elio to pick him up. Once he was in Elio’s arms, he said quietly, “You wear your pajamas too.”

Elio nodded and carried Simon into Oliver’s room and sat him down as he quickly changed into sweats. He then picked Simon up again and they stood at the window staring down at the street below. “Are you feeling better?” Elio asked. Simon nodded, but he still looked upset.

When the pizza arrived, they all took a seat at the table and ate quietly, Oliver making most of the conversation as he fed Noah small pieces of pizza. He tried to get Simon talking, but he gave only short, quiet answers. Elio couldn’t blame him as his answers to Oliver’s questions were much the same.

When they’d finished eating, Oliver asked, “Elio, will you give Noah his bath?”

From the bathroom, Elio could hear Oliver talking quietly to Simon in the living room and he strained to hear what he was saying, but he was quickly distracted by Noah splashing in the tub. Elio splashed some water on him and delighted in Noah’s giggle. They played for a while longer and then Elio wrapped Noah in a big towel. He tried to hold him tight, but Noah was wiggling in his arms.

Once they were out of the bathroom, he set Noah down and he instantly went wobbling towards the living room. “Naked baby on the loose!” Elio warned.

He heard Noah shrieking and turned the corner in time to see Oliver scoop him up. Oliver made an exaggerated kissing sound as he kissed Noah on the cheek. “Goodnight my naked baby,” Oliver laughed and then swung Noah down so that Simon could give him a kiss too.

Elio held out the towel and Oliver placed Noah back in his arms. He quickly took him to the boys’ room and got him dressed in his pajamas. With the lights dimmed, he walked around the room with him in his arms. Oliver had taught him it was the easiest way to get Noah to sleep. Once he was sure he was asleep, he gently put him down in his crib and crept out of the room.

In the hall, he could hear Oliver telling Simon it was time for his bath. Simon replied that he was already in his pajamas. But faced with the choice of taking his bath now or waking up early to do it, there was no more disagreement.

Elio wanted to give Simon time with Oliver, so he walked quietly to Oliver’s room and laid down on the bed. He was tired and his body was sore. Through the open door, he could hear Simon talking excitedly and sounding like his normal self. He couldn’t make out what Oliver said, but Simon’s laugh carried down the hall.

Elio smiled into his pillow with relief at the sound. Not long after, he heard Oliver hushing Simon so they didn’t wake up Noah. Elio turned over and scooted back, so he was leaning against the headboard. Following the sound of a few more hushed whispers, Oliver walked into the room withSimon in his arms. He acted like he was going to throw Simon onto the bed, but then gently set him down. Elio heard Simon giggle and then there were little arms wrapping around his neck. “Ewio! I love you.”

Elio was stunned and looked quickly to Oliver who was smiling at him. He quickly hugged Simon to him and said, “I love you, too.”

“Read me a story?”

“Of course.” Elio said. “You pick.”

“Daddy, is the train book in here?” Simon asked.

“I’ll go grab it from your room. You get settled, okay?”

Elio read one story and Oliver agreed to one more when Simon begged. Elio expected him to beg for another, but he was asleep on Oliver’s shoulder before they finished the second. Elio followed Oliver down the hall as he carried Simon to his room.

Once he was ready for bed, Elio went back to the bedroom to wait for Oliver, who was turning off the lights in the living room. Standing in the doorway to the bedroom, Oliver asked, “You have everything you need?”

Elio didn’t answer, but held out his arms toward Oliver, who quickly shut the door and made his way to the bed. “Oh, poor baby. You had a tough day.” Oliver laid down on the bed next to him and pulled Elio into his arms.

Elio moved his face into the crook of Oliver’s neck and took a deep breath. They were silent for a while and then he asked quietly, “Did you tell him to say that?”

“What?”

“Simon. Did you tell him to say he loved me?”

“No, baby. I told him you did everything you could for him today and you might need a hug. The rest was all him. He loves you.”

Elio suddenly felt emotional. Oliver tightened his arms around him and kissed his temple. Finally, Elio said, “I love you all so much. I never thought I’d have this.”

“We love you too. You belong here with us.”

Elio exhaled loudly to keep from crying. “I thought he was never going to forgive me.”

“No, no, no, no, no,” Oliver said in his ear. “He’s sensitive, but resilient.”

“He let me comfort him, but in the end he just needed his daddy.”

“No,” Oliver said again. “You did all the heavy lifting, Elio. It’s easy to swoop in late as the one who wasn’t there. Trust me. Rachel and I used to fight about it. She always accused me of trying to be the hero and I didn’t understand what she meant until I was on my own. I think Simon would save his biggest meltdowns for her. He trusts me with that now and he trusts you too.”

Elio nodded, but he felt too emotional to speak. Oliver turned off the bedside lamp and pulled Elio closer. “Are you okay?”

Elio nodded again. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just feeling a lot. Is this what it’s like being a parent?”

Oliver chuckled. “Yes. It will give you whiplash sometimes. But I always think that as hard as things can sometimes be now, eventually they’re not going to need me as much, and I’ll miss these days.”

Elio buried his face in Oliver’s chest.

“I used to think of how sad I’d be when that happens, but now I know I’ll be okay, because I’ll have you. The boys will grow up and have lives of their own, get their hearts broken, and we’ll be there for them whenever they need us, but we’ll have each other too.”

Elio looked up. “What are you picturing?”

“Us at the villa.” Oliver said.

Elio smiled. “You’re always thinking about the future.

“I guess I can’t deny that, but . . . I used to always be focused on the _next thing_. And now I have what I want and when I picture the future, it’s because I want this forever.”

Elio exhaled loudly. “Oliver, you can’t just say things like that.”

Oliver kissed his cheek. “Yes I can. I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.”

“There are going to be more hard days like this, but I’ll always be here at the end of them.”

Elio nodded into him.

“You should talk to your parents about this. I’m sure they’re full of wisdom. I called them once, shortly after Noah was born. I was just planning to say hello, because I hadn’t called at Hanukah, but your mom got it out of me in two seconds. I wasn’t ready to admit to them that Rachel and I were talking about divorce, but they helped me work through some of my fears.”

“Like what?” Elio asked.

“Wanting to give my boys the childhood I never had and fearing I didn’t have it in me to offer that.”

“Oliver, you know that’s not true. You’re a wonderful father.”

“Thank you, baby. I do feel bad that I put them through a divorce and now they have to go back and forth between two homes, but I’m so happy I could give them you.”

“ _Oliverrr_.”

“Okay, I’ll stop.” Oliver kissed his temple again. “No more tears tonight.”


	12. Elio Has Lost His Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Simon attend Elio's first concert in New York.

Oliver finished his lecture and a small line of students formed to talk to him. It was Friday afternoon, so most students seemed eager to leave and start their weekends, and he felt much the same.

He answered a couple quick questions about the material and recommended another student attend his office hours the following week. He was putting his books and lecture notes in his bag when he noticed him standing there.

“Goose, what are you doing here?”

Elio shrugged. “I wanted to see you in action. I only caught the last half hour, but I loved it.”

“Yeah?”

Elio nodded. “If I had you as a professor, I’d be in trouble.”

“If I had you as a student, I’d be in trouble.” Oliver said.

“I used to imagine that some day, I’d show up at one of your lectures. You wouldn’t recognize me at first, but then it would all come back to you.”

“Why wouldn’t I recognize you?” Oliver asked with a skeptical look.

“Because it’s been 15 years and I have a beard.”

“Oh, I see. So in this reality, you can grow a beard?”

“Hey,” Elio said, swiping at him.

They were joking, but it was obvious something was on Elio’s mind. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to see you. Can you be done for the day?” Elio asked.

Oliver nodded. “I need to stop by my office first. You have something in mind?”

“I was thinking we could get a drink before we pick up the boys.”

“Okay,” Oliver replied.

As they walked across campus to his office, Oliver said, “So you show up and I finally recognize you. Then what happens?”

“You invite me over for dinner to meet your wife and kids, but I say no, because it would make everything too real. It would make it obvious that I’m not over you. So we would get a drink at a bar instead.”

“And then?”

“Sometimes we would just talk and sometimes I’d imagine more.”

“Well I’m glad I didn’t wait 15 years for you to come find me.” Oliver said.

“Me too.” Elio replied.

When they got to the philosophy department, Oliver checked for messages and then stopped by his office to exchange the books he used in class for those he would need at home.

Elio quietly walked around the office, studying Oliver’s bookshelf before honing in on the framed picture on his desk of the two of them with the boys on Halloween. “You framed it?” He asked.

“I had the frame already. It had an older picture of the boys, so I replaced it.”

“I sent the other copy to my parents.” Elio said. “We could send the one of you and the boys to your parents, if you want.”

“They wouldn’t appreciate it like your parents,” Oliver said. “Come on, let’s go.”

Elio started talking as they walked to the bar. “So I had my one on one with Professor Min today. He said I don’t seem to have the passion I showed in my audition or the ambition I showed in Milan.”

“What? Where did that come from? How does he know what you were like in Milan?”

“He’s friends with one of my old instructors.” Elio said. “I guess they talked about me.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” Oliver took his hand as they walked.

“He’s not . . . _wrong_. You must have noticed. Be honest with me, Oliver.”

“I noticed you don’t have the intensity I saw at the villa, but you’re an incredibly skilled musician. You play beautifully.”

“He thinks I’m not fulfilling my potential. That I could be one of the best, but I’m settling for mediocrity.”

“Fuck,” Oliver said.

“Yeah. He was actually trying to be nice about it. I do believe he wants the best for me, but it was still really hard to hear. I walked out of his office and I didn’t know where to go.”

“I’m glad you came to me.” Oliver said.

They were seated at the bar with their drinks when Elio continued. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. Get my shit together or just give up?”

“Give up? Really?” Oliver asked.

Elio shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You know, before I came to Crema, a professor told me that if I didn’t completely rethink my thesis, I wasn’t going to graduate.”

“You never told me that.” Elio said.

“Of course I didn’t. I wanted you to think I was brilliant.” He knocked his elbow into Elio.

“Fooled me.” Elio gave him a weak smile.

“Your father gave me my confidence back. He helped me address some of the major problems with my thesis and he made me care again. I was doubting my intelligence and whether this was really what I wanted, but being part of your family for a while, it made me want it again.”

“Is that what you were thinking about every night when I thought you were with Chiara?” Elio asked.

Oliver laughed. “Sometimes. Mostly I was thinking about you.”

“We really did waste a lot of days.”

“We did.” Oliver agreed.

“So what your professor said worked? You finished your thesis and graduated.”

“And now I’m on the faculty with him.” Oliver said. “I’ve always felt like I needed to prove to him that I deserve to be there. I never felt that way with your father, even when he was critical of my thesis. That’s the kind of professor I want to be.”

“I hope you’ve told him that.” Elio said.

“I have, but I should tell him again.” Oliver said. “Despite his help, I still came close to not graduating on time.”

“Why?”

“I came home with a broken heart, completely lacking focus. It wasn’t until I found out Rachel was pregnant that I got my shit together, so I could graduate, get a job, and support a child.”

“I didn’t know any of this. I didn’t know you were brokenhearted.”

“Elio, come on. I was devastated.” Oliver said. “I didn’t sleep at all our last night in Bergamo. I just watched you sleep and dreaded morning.”

Elio opened his eyes wide and nodded the way he did when he was trying not to get emotional. He silently finished his drink and then looked at Oliver and said, “Let’s get the boys and go home.”

“Do you want to talk more about what happened today?” Oliver asked.

“No, I just want to enjoy the weekend.”

“Okay,” Oliver said. He had learned a lot in the last couple months about how Elio processed his feelings. Oliver, fighting his instinct to bottle everything up the way he had been required to as a child, preferred now to deal with things right away. Elio needed time and he would wait until he was ready to speak. He’d been allowed the space for this as a child, so now he could not be rushed.

They had a quiet night in watching TV. Oliver sat upright and Elio stretched out on the couch with his head on a pillow in Oliver’s lap. The boys started off playing on the living room floor, but eventually Simon stretched out on the couch next to Elio.

The change in their relationship was a beautiful thing to see. That little “I love you” from Simon had opened the floodgates. Oliver hadn’t realized until then how much Elio had been holding back. Simon was now treated to head pats and snuggles and hugs, and he took to these new displays of affection like they’d always been there.

Noah finally tired himself out and reached for Oliver to pick him up. It wasn’t long after that before both boys were asleep, and even though it was Friday night, they put them to bed in their own room.

Alone in their room, as soon as Oliver turned off the bedside lamp, he heard Elio murmur, “Oliver . . . “ and he knew what that meant.

“Come here,” Oliver said, pulling Elio on top of him. He secured one arm around his back and the other trailed up Elio’s neck and into his hair. Whenever Oliver held him like this, it reminded him of that very first night at midnight.

“The first time I got to hold you was one of the best moments of my life.”

“It was a dream,” Elio said into his neck.

“Yeah? Are we still dreaming then?” Oliver asked.

Elio nodded. “I am.”

“I feel like I’m finally awake.” Oliver kissed his temple. “What do you need, baby?”

“ _You_ ,” Elio said in a tone that Oliver understood to mean _you know what I need_. It amused Oliver that his boyfriend, who had once pursued him with the most startling boldness, now grew shy at the subject of sex.

Elio liked to be taken care of, and Oliver liked to take care of him. He pushed him a little sometimes, because he wanted to be sure Elio was comfortable asking for what he wanted in bed, but most days this seemed to be exactly what he needed—all of Oliver’s love and care and adoration.

Oliver rolled them over, pushing Elio onto his back and climbing over him. He grinned down at his boyfriend and placed kisses to his cheeks, his eyes, his nose, until Elio’s serious face broke and a breathless laughed escaped him.

“I love you, Elio Perlman.”

“I love you too. So much.”

Oliver grinned down at him again and Elio lifted his head to kiss him.

Later when Elio was snuggled up to his side and Oliver thought he had already fallen asleep, he heard him ask, “Do you know what I remember from the first night? I . . . “ He started, not waiting for Oliver to answer. “You held me and you kissed around my face like you’d been waiting weeks to do just that. The way you looked at me, I was so relieved that you liked me too. That it wasn’t just sex, though I could hardly think of anything else.”

“Baby, I loved you already.” Oliver said.

Elio leaned up to kiss his cheek and they settled back into silence.

It was Sunday before Elio was ready to talk. They had taken the boys to a park and were sitting on a bench watching them play when Elio said. “The hard part for me is that music has always been the most important thing in my life and it’s not anymore.”

“It doesn’t need to be the most important thing for you to still be passionate about it.”

“Maybe for me it does. I don’t know.” Elio said. “I loved it, but it was also the way I got love and approval from other people. Now I know that the people who love me love _me_ , and I don’t care that much what anyone else thinks.”

Oliver didn’t say anything, but he was thinking that it had taken him a lot longer to reach those same conclusions.

“How do you stay so motivated?” Elio asked. “I know you have a family to support, but there must be more to it.”

“I do it for them,” Oliver said, gesturing towards his boys. “And for you now too. Maybe always for you. I want you all to be proud of me, and I think being my own person with my own life and ambitions outside of my children, makes me a better father and partner.”

“I just worry that for me it’s all or nothing. That if music isn’t my number one, then I’ll never fulfill my potential.”

“Elio, can I say something?” Oliver asked.

“Yes.” Elio answered.

“You’re comparing us, but I’m almost 30. I had a lot of time to figure out who I was and what I wanted. When I was your age, I had no one but myself to worry about and I still had a crisis every week about what I was going to do with my life.”

“If you decide that music isn’t what you want, then you know I’ll love and support you. But I don’t want you to give up on it when your life has just changed so dramatically and maybe what was easy is hard for the first time.”

Elio thought about that. “I know you’re right. I just feel so unsettled about it.”

“That’s okay. Maybe now the boys and I can be the steady, constant thing in your life, and your relationship to music can be a little more tumultuous. Maybe you’ll find something more in it now that you don’t need it as much.”

“You could give my father a run for his money, you know?”

“I’m trying.” Oliver laughed. “I’m here to support you, baby. So think about what you need.”

“Thank you.” Elio said. “For now, I need to focus on the performance next week.”

“About that. I was thinking . . . .” Oliver started. “I have two tickets. What if I brought Simon with me?”

“Doesn’t Rachel have the boys next week?”

“Yeah, but I can make arrangements with her to take Simon to the concert. He would love to see you.”

Elio smiled and nodded.

+++

The night of the concert, Oliver left work right at 5, and got home as quickly as he could.He wanted to be there to help Elio get ready. The suit he’d unpacked from his trunk at Edna’s had been dry cleaned and was now hanging in Oliver’s closet.

Oliver had quietly made more and more room in his closet for Elio. On the day when Elio finally moved in, he hoped there would be nothing left at Edna’s but an empty trunk.

Elio was still in the shower when he got home, so he carefully laid out his own suit and stripped down to his boxers and undershirt. He then went into the steamy bathroom to shave. “Baby, I’m home,” he said over the sound of the shower.

Elio peeked around the curtain and smiled. “Is Simon with you?”

“No, I’m going to pick him up on my way.” Oliver answered. “I wanted to help you get ready.”

Elio disappeared behind the curtain again and turned the water off a few seconds later. He stepped out of the shower and dried himself off with a towel.

“Are you nervous?” Oliver asked.

“A little for the quintet. I just feel . . . I don’t know. Kind of weird. Like maybe tonight will help me figure some things out.”

“Don’t put too much pressure on it.” Oliver said. “Just think of Simon and I in the audience. We love you no matter what you decide.”

“Thank you,” Elio said and leaned into Oliver for a quick kiss. “Are you shaving? I like your scruff.”

“You want me to keep it?” Oliver asked.

“Yeah.” Elio said.

“Okay. Do you have an opinion on my outfit too? I was going to wear a suit.”

“Wear your suit pants and shirt with one of the sweaters in your closet.”

“Pick out which sweater and I’ll wear it.” Oliver said.

Elio smiled at that and left the bathroom with the towel around his waist. Oliver followed him and found him looking through his closet. “I want to see you in this cream one, but that would go better with jeans. Tonight, I think, this navy sweater.”

“Whatever you want.” Oliver said.

“This is a slippery slope, you know.” Elio said. “If you let me pick out your clothes every day, I will.”

“As long as you’re not trying to put me in silk shirts or whatever the latest Milan fashions are, then I’m fine with it.”

“That’s what you think everyone in Milan is wearing?” Elio asked.

Oliver shrugged. “Did you eat dinner?”

Elio shook his head. “No, I can’t eat before a performance.”

“I can make you toast or something really simple.” Oliver offered.

“I can’t.” Elio said. “I’ve never been able to eat before a performance.”

Oliver nodded. He regretted every performance he had missed.

Oliver went to get Elio’s suit from the closet and started pulling off the plastic from the dry cleaner while Elio lost the towel around his waist and pulled on boxers.

“I haven’t worn a suit in months,” Elio said as he watched Oliver set the jacket down on the bed and pull the pants off the hanger.

“I’ve never seen you all dressed up,” Oliver said, kneeling down and holding out the pants for Elio.

That seemed to be the moment Elio realized what Oliver meant when he said he wanted to help him get ready. He bit his bottom lip and placed his hands on Oliver’s shoulders as he stepped into the pants.

Oliver pulled the pants up his legs and then went to grab Elio’s white dress shirt. Elio lifted his arms, so Oliver could pull on his undershirt and then held them out again, so Oliver could put his dress shirt on. They both watched Oliver’s large hands as he moved from button to button.

After the last button, Oliver tucked the shirt into Elio’s pants, secured them, and zipped them up. Next Oliver wrapped the tie around Elio’s neck and tied it. Then he held up the suit jacket and Elio put one arm through and then the other. He turned back to Oliver, who ran his hands down the suit to smooth out any wrinkles.

“I think you’re ready.” Oliver said, breaking the intimacy of their silence.

“Kiss me before I go?”

Oliver smiled and leaned down to kiss Elio. “You’re going to be amazing,” he said.

“Where will you be sitting?” Elio asked.

“On the side where we can see the piano best, on the aisle. People always get grumpy when they have to sit behind me.”

Elio smiled. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” Oliver replied and kissed Elio one more time.

Once Elio had left, Oliver quickly finished getting ready before heading to Rachel’s to pick up Simon. When he arrived, Rachel asked him to watch Noah while she got Simon dressed. Simon ran back into the living room several minutes later, dressed in black pants and a gray sweater with his collar folded over the top.

When Rachel followed a few moments later, Oliver raised his eyebrows. She shrugged in response and said, “The suit I bought him for my sister’s wedding this Summer is already too small, so I took inspiration from your outfit. Elio will love it.”

“He picked out my outfit.” Oliver laughed.

“I assumed.” She said. “Simon, sit down, so we can get your shoes on.”

“Daddy, where’s Elio?”

“He’s getting ready for his concert.” Oliver answered. “We’re going to eat dinner and then we’ll see him.”

Simon sat down as his mom put his shoes on. “They’re a little tight,” she said. “Baby, you’re growing so quickly!”

“I’m going to be tall?” Simon asked.

“Yes,” Rachel said. “Maybe as tall as your daddy.”

“Whoa,” Simon said and Oliver and Rachel laughed.

“Come on, buddy. Time to go.”

They said their goodbyes and then Oliver took Simon’s hand. He was nervous that they’d be late if they ate in a restaurant, so they stopped at McDonald’s, which Simon was excited about.

As they made their way to Juilliard, Simon held on to Oliver with one hand and gripped his new Happy Meal toy in the other.

Oliver was a little nervous about how Simon would handle more than an hour of classical music. Before they went into the building, he encouraged him to run around a little to get his energy out. Simon ran in circles until he complained that his shoes hurt his feet.

They made their way into the auditorium and Oliver found seats where he would not block anyone’s view, but they would be able to see Elio playing. He pointed out the piano to Simon.

“Elio is not going to be on stage the whole time, so if you get bored, you can play quietly with your toy, okay?”

“‘Kay.”

When the lights finally dimmed, Simon’s head shot up and he looked toward the stage. “Daddy, I can’t see. I can’t see Ewio.”

“Shh, shh. He’s not on stage yet.”

“Daddy, I can’t _see_.”

“Simon,” he whispered, lifting him out of his seat. “You can sit in my lap, but you have to be quiet.”

Simon was quiet once he was in Oliver’s lap, but he was not still. He squirmed excitedly, especially when he saw Elio walk on stage. Oliver saw Elio subtly scanning the crowd and he grabbed Simon’s hand and held it up to get Elio’s attention. The minute he noticed them, Elio’s face relaxed into a smile.

Simon sat in Oliver’s lap for the whole performance. Even when Elio was not on stage, he paid close attention, sometimes interested in the music, but never wanting to miss Elio when he returned. He loved the quintet performance when it was Elio on stage with only four other performers. Oliver loved it too and was so proud of Elio, but he experienced the concert through his son, watching him closely as he took everything in.

He had been worried that if Elio decided not to continue performing that this might be the only time he got to see him play on a stage, but it was so obvious watching him that this would be far from his last time.

They hadn’t agreed on a place to meet when the concert was over, so they followed the crowd out into the lobby. Oliver got Simon’s coat on him and was just putting his own on when Simon took off running. He was already in Elio’s arms by the time Oliver saw where he went. In a few long strides, Oliver was next to them.

“I was playing just for you and your daddy,” he heard Elio say.

“I saw you!” Simon said.

Elio transferred Simon to his left hip and held out an arm toward Oliver. Without hesitation, Oliver stepped in, wrapping his arms around Elio and his son. “You were so good, baby.”

They stood like that in their own bubble amidst the crowd until some of Elio’s classmates came over. He held Simon in his arms and introduced him to his friends. Oliver talked briefly to Joey and then Elio took his hand and started pulling him away.

“Come on,” he said. “I’m starving.”

Oliver let himself be pulled away, waving goodbye to Elio’s friends. He didn’t ask if Elio wanted to go out with them, because he knew that wasn’t a question Elio wanted to hear and he didn’t want to see him go.

Oliver took Simon from Elio’s arms as they walked toward the subway. “What do you want to eat? I can make you something at home or we can go to a diner.”

“A diner if it’s okay to keep Simon out this late.”

“I’m not tired,” Simon interjected.

“It’s okay. We can sleep in tomorrow.”

Elio ordered a club sandwich and ate it as Simon excitedly recapped the whole concert for them. Oliver ordered a sundae and fed Simon a couple bites whenever he stopped talking long enough to take a breath. Just when it seemed like he’d run out of things to say, he showed Elio his new toy and started telling him all about it.

It was more than an hour after Simon’s bedtime when they got home and he crashed quickly, full of energy one moment and falling asleep in Oliver’s arms the next. They got him dressed in his pajamas, but he was too tired for a story, so they kissed him goodnight and left his room.

“I wish I got a picture of you two dressed as twins.”

Oliver laughed. “Rachel dressed him. She thought you’d like that.”

“I love it.”

Oliver showered and Elio jumped in quickly to rinse off his body. In bed, he kissed Elio’s cheek, told him again how brilliantly he’d played, and they were soon drifting off.

Oliver didn’t know how long he had been asleep when Simon’s voice broke through. “Daddy?” He said.

He opened his eyes to see Simon standing next to the bed.

“Yes, buddy. Are you okay?” Oliver asked.

“I can’t sleep,” He said.

“What’s wrong?” Oliver sat up, pulling the covers up around his waist. 

“I woke up and I can’t fall back asleep. I tried for so long. And Nohy isn’t there. I can’t—.” His voice was getting higher and more agitated.

“Okay, okay.” Oliver interrupted.

“Can I sleep in here with you and Ewio?” Simon asked.

Oliver nodded. “Go grab Teddy and then wait outside your door for me, okay? I’ll come get you in just a moment.”

Simon took off to go grab his bear and Oliver moved quickly to grab a pair of boxers and put them on. He grabbed a pair for Elio too and wondered if he could put them on without waking him up, but he didn’t want him to be surprised waking up next to a toddler.

Oliver climbed back on the bed and kissed Elio’s shoulder. He was sleeping face down, so Oliver ran his fingers up and down his back, finally settling on his ass. “Elio” he repeated until his voice or his touch finally woke up his boyfriend. Elio lifted his head and looked at him with a sleepy look on his face.

“Hi, baby. Simon is going to sleep in here with us. Can you put these on?” He held up the boxers and Elio grabbed them and maneuvered under the covers to pull them on.

Oliver walked out into the hall and returned with Simon and his bear in his arms. He put him down on the bed and Elio helped him get under the covers.

“This can’t happen every time, okay?” Oliver said and Simon nodded. It was an empty threat, but Simon seemed to take it seriously enough that he slept most nights in his own bed.

“Are you going to be able to sleep okay in here?” Elio asked.

“Yeah,” Simon answered.

“Snug as a bug in a rug,” Oliver said, pinning the covers around Simon while he laughed and squirmed until Oliver kissed his cheek and let go. “Good night.”

“Night, daddy. Night, Ewio.”

“Good night, Simon.” Elio said. “Love you.”

“Love you,” Simon said, already being pulled into sleep.

It was dark in the room, but there was light enough coming through the window for Oliver to see Elio’s face. He smiled at him and mouthed _love you_.

Elio made a kissy face and mouthed _love you_ back. Oliver settled an arm across Simon and held onto one of Elio’s wrists. He was asleep within minutes.


	13. Getaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio and Oliver take the boys on a trip upstate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fluff train has arrived! Thank you for all your kind comments on this story. In case you missed it, we are nearing the end (3 chapters to go after this). But, I love this family, so I plan to continue writing about them in occasional one-offs and maybe another longer story if inspiration strikes. Thanks for reading!

When they first started talking about a getaway, the idea was a romantic trip—just the two of them. But when they looked over brochures for different resorts they could reach by train, Oliver mentioned that the boys would really love the hotel pool, and Elio thought it would be fun to take them somewhere new.

They made a deal with Rachel that she would take the boys to her family’s for Thanksgiving and they would have them for the rest of the long weekend. It was their last chance to get away before the end of the semester.

Elio had not given much thought to the holiday except to look forward to the break from school. This wasn’t his first Thanksgiving, but it was his first with Oliver. There had been some debate about whether Oliver would cook a traditional meal for just the two of them, but Elio was not willing to lose him to the kitchen all day, so instead they slept in, read in bed for a while, and then ordered food from Oliver’s favorite Chinese restaurant.

They were making out on the couch when the intercom buzzed and Elio jumped in Oliver’s arms. Oliver laughed. “It’s just the delivery guy. I’ll go meet him downstairs.”

Elio reluctantly climbed off of Oliver’s lap. “We should give him a big tip. Do you have enough cash?”

Oliver slid on his shoes and grabbed his wallet from the table near the door. “I’ve got it covered.”

By now, Elio had learned how to contribute financially in ways that were not up for debate. He would simply declare that he was paying for the groceries or covering the phone bill or buying Noah a new coat. When they were choosing where to stay for the weekend, he had picked the resort with the nicer pool and a fireplace in the room, and he told Oliver he was paying.

When Oliver returned to the apartment with two large bags full of Chinese food, Elio eyed him suspiciously. “Are we expecting more people?” He asked. “A small army, perhaps?”

Oliver smiled. “You’re going to feel bad for saying that when you find out why I ordered so much food.”

“Because you’re trying to fatten me up?”

Oliver laughed. “No. I know you’re new to American Chinese food, so I ordered a bunch of stuff for you to try, so we can figure out what you like.”

“Well, that is very sweet.” Elio said. “Do you want me to get you a beer?”

“No, I’ve got it.” Oliver said, putting the food down on the coffee table. “You stay right there. I’m going to feed you 3 different kinds of egg roll.”

They ate Chinese food for lunch, dinner, and a late-night snack before falling asleep full and satisfied.

Rachel had to work that Friday, so she brought the boys over early. Noah looked like a sleepy little marshmallow in his new puffy coat. He was reluctant at first to leave the comfort of his mom’s arms, but quickly snuggled up to Oliver once he was handed over.

“Here’s where we’ll be,” Oliver said, handing the brochure to Rachel. “We’ll call tomorrow night, so you can talk to the boys.”

“No, no,” Rachel said. “You guys just have fun. Call me Sunday and tell me all about it.”

Elio waved as Rachel left for work. They then quickly finished packing their bags and headed for the train.

The plans had come together so late that there hadn’t been much time to tell Simon about their trip. Oliver always liked to talk him through and prepare him for everything, though things never seemed to register until they were happening.

He talked animatedly about everything that had happened on Thanksgiving and how much fun he’d had playing with his cousins until they were out of the city. Then he suddenly looked around and asked, “Daddy, where are we going?”

Elio bit his lips to keep from laughing. Oliver caught his eye for just a second and shook his head. “We’re going on a trip, buddy. The one I told you about.”

Simon took that in and leaned over Elio to get a better look outside.

The hotel was new, but designed to look like a rustic lodge. While Elio was getting them checked in, he could hear Oliver over by the large stone fireplace telling the boys they would go swimming that afternoon.

“And you’ll throw me high in the air?” Simon asked.

“As high as you want!”

“Can we go _now_ , daddy?” Simon pleaded.

“Not yet, buddy. But soon, okay?”

“Okay,” Simon said, quickly distracted by the bookshelf next to the fireplace that held some children’s books as well.

“Would they like to pick a toy from our toy basket?” The clerk asked as Elio turned back to the counter.

“Oh. Thank you. Yeah.” Elio answered. “Simon, come over here.”

The hotel clerk grabbed a basket of small toys and walked around the counter. Simon ran over to Elio, but suddenly grew shy as the clerk leaned down so the basket was at his level. He leaned into Elio and wrapped one arm around his leg, almost hiding behind him.

Elio patted the top of his head. “Do you want to pick something, buddy?”

Simon peered into the basket and studied every item before picking out a small plastic car.

“Do you think Noah would like this?” Elio asked, holding up a small toy.

Simon nodded.

“Can you say thank you?”

“Thank you,” Simon said quietly before he took off running back to his dad.

Once they were checked in, they quickly dropped their bags in the room and went out in search of lunch.

It was a cute town that to Elio looked distinctly American and quintessentially Fall. Most of the leaves were off the trees and covering the ground.

Noah had had enough of being held and squirmed in Oliver’s arms until he put him down. The first fall he took was softened by a blanket of leaves. With a little help from Oliver, he was quickly on his feet and running in front of them.

Elio was lost in the moment, walking down the sidewalk holding Simon’s hand with Oliver next to him. Oliver, his handsome boyfriend, who he had once assumed lived in an endless Summer, was dressed in a navy blue wool coat and taking long strides to keep up with his toddler.

His daydream was interrupted by the loudest shriek he had ever heard out of Noah. Elio panicked for a second thinking he was hurt, but then he saw the puppy. Oliver scooped up his little boy just in time and then knelt down with him, so Noah could see the puppy.

“Is it okay if he pets your dog?” Oliver asked. It was an older woman holding the leash.

“Of course, of course.” She said.

Oliver took one of Noah’s hands and gently pet the puppy’s head. It quickly maneuvered to lick Noah’s hand and he shrieked again.

Simon pulled Elio toward’s the dog. “What’s the doggy’s name?” Simon asked the woman.

“Patrick.” She answered. “I call him Pat.”

“Hi, Pat,” Simon said, petting the puppy’s back. The dog spun around, chasing Simon’s hand and he laughed.

Noah reached out a hand to pet the dog again and gripped his hair the way he often held on to Elio’s curls. “Gentle,” Oliver said, steadying Noah’s hand.

The dog was just as excited as Noah, and it took a couple steps forward and licked Noah’s face. He shrieked in delight again and looked up at Oliver with a smile that covered his entire face. Elio had never seen him look so happy.

“What does a dog say?” Oliver asked.

“Ruff, ruff,” Simon answered.

“Ruff, ruff,” Noah repeated quietly and with more spit.

“Good job, good job!” Oliver said, hugging him tight. He giggled and smiled up at his dad again.

“Daddy, can we get a dog?” Simon asked as he pet Pat again. Elio had been thinking the same question.

“Not right now, buddy. We live on the fifth floor and you’re not old enough to take care of a dog.”

“But I would feed it and walk it.” Simon said.

“A dog is a lot of responsibility. We can talk about it when you’re older. Why don’t you say goodbye to Pat.”

That seemed to distract Simon from pouting and he wrapped his arms gently around Pat’s neck and the dog squirmed and licked his face.

“You’re so good with him,” the woman said and Simon beamed.

Oliver stood up with Noah in his arms, but lowered him so Pat could lick his face one more time. Noah giggled again.

“Thank you,” Elio said to the woman and she waved before continuing her walk.

As they walked away, Noah stared over Oliver’s shoulder at the dog.

After lunch, they went for a walk around town and then returned to the hotel, so Noah could take his nap. Simon begged again to go to the pool, but they managed to distract him by reading some books they borrowed from the hotel lobby.

When Noah woke up, Simon could not be put off any longer, so they changed into their swim trunks and headed to the pool.

The pool was what had sold them on this hotel. Half of it was inside and then you could swim to the outside portion. Simon’s excitement carried him to the edge of the pool, but he hesitated until Oliver took his hand and they walked in together.

While Oliver conducted a mini swimming lesson with Simon, reminding him of what he’d learned in swimming lessons the Summer before, Elio dipped a toe into the water and, finding it warm, entered the water slowly with Noah in his arms.

He wasn’t sure how Noah would react and he stared curiously at the water and Elio. It wasn’t until he saw his brother splashing in the pool that Noah began to splash his own hands into the water, giggling and making Elio laugh.

“Is that my baby boy making all that noise?” Oliver asked, coming over to kiss Noah on the cheek.

“Daddy,” Simon said, treading water. “You said you’d throw me in the air.”

“Let’s swim outside and I will.” Oliver said. Elio followed them with Noah still in his arms. The air was cold outside, but the pool was heated.

Oliver threw Simon in the air and he landed in the water, already begging to be thrown again before he’d wiped the water from his eyes. Oliver tossed him again, this time higher. Elio was impressed by Oliver’s strength and Simon’s bravery at being thrown that high.

Noah seemed alarmed at first by all the noise, but he laughed when he saw Simon pop up out of the water. After Oliver had tossed Simon a few more times, Noah whined and reached out toward him.

“You want to fly too?” Oliver asked, taking Noah from Elio’s arms. He tossed him in the air, but caught him long before he hit the water. He shrieked with laughter, so Oliver did it again. But, after that, he whined and reached back towards Elio.

“I think twice was enough for him.” Oliver said.

In Elio’s arms, Noah clung to him and shivered. Elio dipped lower into the heated water and they watched as Oliver threw Simon several more times.

“My little barnacle,” Elio said, kissing the top of his head.

“Ewio, watch me!” Simon shouted as his dad threw him in the air again.

When Oliver finally said he needed a break, he went to join Elio and Noah, and they all watched while Simon swam around the pool.

“He’s going to sleep well tonight,” Oliver said.

On their way back to the room, the clerks at the reservation counter only had to ask Simon if he had fun in the pool to hear all about how many laps he’d swam and how high his dad and thrown him in the air.

As shy as he could be sometimes, nothing could mask Simon’s curiosity or excitement. Observing him, Elio wondered if Oliver had been just the same as a child. With both of them, there was a distinction between who they were at home and who they were with other people.

One of the most intriguing things about Oliver that first Summer was the quick glances Elio got of who he was when he was completely himself. It happened sometimes on long afternoons by the pool or when there were no guests for dinner, but plenty of wine.

After Elio and Oliver had both showered and given the boys a bath, they ate dinner at the hotel restaurant and then went back to the room. In the early evening, a hotel employee stopped by their room to start the fire and give instructions on keeping it going.

The boys fell asleep early, exhausted from the busy day. There were two Queen beds that were separated from the rest of the room by sliding doors. Once they got the boys settled, Elio and Oliver opened a bottle of wine and sat in front of the fire. It was the first time they’d been alone all day.

“Had you ever heard Noah laugh like that or smile that big?” Elio asked. “We have to get him a dog.”

Oliver laughed. “Not you too! Elio, we live in an apartment.”

“Just something small and cute.”

“I have you,” Oliver said. “You’re small and cute.”

Elio swiped at him, but Oliver grabbed his wrist and pulled him close.

“When Simon is older and we have a bigger place.”

“Would you ever consider moving some place like this? Maybe a little closer to the city, but where we could get a house and have a yard for the boys?”

Oliver thought about that. “It would be hard if we still needed to go into the city every day. Maybe we could look for a place in Brooklyn. Not a house, but a bigger apartment. Some of them have a little outdoor space, even if it’s shared.”

Elio nodded into him. “I like that idea.”

“What has you thinking about it?” Oliver asked.

“Just being away for a bit, I guess,” Elio answered. “I’ve been thinking about what I want to do.”

“Have you made any decisions?” Oliver asked.

“I don’t know exactly, but . . . I know I don’t want to be performing every night, to have to travel and be a way from you all to make a living.”

“Elio, if you want to be a concert pianist, we’ll find a way to make it work.”

“I don’t want to make it work.” Elio said. “It would be really hard to get a job unless I was willing to go anywhere, and I’m not.”

“What do you want to do instead?” Oliver asked.

“Teach, maybe. Compose in my spare time. Perform sometimes, but not as my main gig.”

“I can see you teaching,” Oliver said. “I just . . . I don’t want you to give up on your dream, at least not yet.”

“It’s not my dream.” Elio said. “It was what I and other people assumed I wanted, but it was never specifically my dream. I always just wanted to be left alone with my music. Unless _you_ were around.”

Elio looked up at Oliver with a smile and Oliver kissed him before pulling back quickly and snapping his head to the side as if listening for something. Elio whined as Oliver got up and quickly opened the sliding doors to walk into the bedroom.

A few seconds later, he emerged with Noah in his arms. The little boy looked tired, but his eyes were open and his face was red. Elio didn’t know how Oliver had known he was awake. He had a sixth sense as a parent that Elio hadn’t developed yet.

Oliver closed the sliding doors behind himself and paced around the small living area trying to sooth Noah.

“Is he okay?” Elio asked.

“Yeah. I think he’s fine.” Oliver said. “I’ll just keep him with us for a bit.

Noah’s eyes were drooping shut and his face had relaxed. He looked so small in Oliver’s arms. Both boys did. The way Oliver carried them, they looked like part of him.

Oliver finally returned to his spot on the couch with Noah still in his arms. Elio couldn’t stop himself from reaching to touch Noah’s little foot. He ran his finger across the arch, and Noah opened his eyes to look at him and then snuggled in closer to Oliver and closed his eyes again.

“I was just thinking,” Elio started. “They’re both growing so fast, but they still look small in your arms.”

Oliver smiled at Elio and kissed Noah’s temple. “I want them to remain that way for a little bit longer.”

“They must have been so little when they were born.” Elio said.

“Noah, especially, He was born a couple weeks early and he was so precious. I’ll show you some pictures when we get home.”

“I wish I could have been there.” Elio said.

“Me too. But, baby, you’ll be in all of his memories.”

“ _Oliverrr_ ,” he quietly whined, feeling emotional and burying his face between Oliver’s arm and the back of the couch.

“Is that something you want some day?” Oliver asked quietly. “To have more children?” 

Elio pulled back to look at him. “What? Oliver, how?” Elio suspected this question was not as spontaneous as it sounded.

“There are ways,” Oliver answered. “And I’m sure there will be more by the time we’d be ready for that.”

“Is that . . . is that something you want?” Elio asked tentatively.

Oliver nodded.

Conscious that his reaction was very important in this moment and he had never been good at hiding his feelings, Elio bit his lip to fight his smile and then buried his face against Oliver’s shoulder again. Elio couldn’t even begin to unpack his own feelings, but knowing Oliver wanted that with him warmed his heart.

Oliver let him hide for a little longer and then lifted his arm, so Elio could snuggled up next to him as they watched the fire. Noah was now asleep in Oliver’s arms.

“I love this,” Elio said.

“Me too, baby.”

“We need a fireplace at our next place.”

"Okay," Oliver said, kissing the top of his head.

+++

After breakfast the next morning, they went to a local history museum. When Simon had enough of staring at exhibits with his dad, Elio took him next door to the toy store and let him pick out a toy. For Noah, they selected a small stuffed dog that he did not let go of for the entire day, except when they went to the pool, and that had been a fight.

They took the train home on Sunday afternoon. Elio was pretty sure Oliver had been the only one awake for the trip.

As soon as they were back in the city, Elio began to feel the stress of everything he had to do to finish the semester. He wanted to retreat into the comfort and safety of their weekend upstate or at least hold onto what was left of it.

Oliver knew exactly what he was feeling and what he needed. They gave the boys their bath and then Elio put Noah to sleep while Oliver read to Simon. Once Oliver had carried Simon to bed, he returned to their room and quickly had Elio in his arms.

“Let’s go to bed early and you’ll wake up tomorrow ready to dive into your work.”

Elio nodded into him and Oliver reached back to turn off the bedside lamp before wrapping his arms tight around Elio again. “Focus on finishing the semester, and then we’ll have a month off together. Your parents will be here. They’ll see the boys for the first time. Maybe we can take another short trip . . . .”

Elio drifted to sleep on the dream that Oliver described. It would be real soon enough.


	14. Hanukkah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone calls to wish Oliver a Happy Hanukkah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next are a little heavier, but you know this story is all just one long happy ending, so have no fear. Warning that there is some discussion of general shitty parenting and some implied homophobia ahead. If you want to skip that, jump to the end of the chapter.

The call came in on his office line late on Friday afternoon. Oliver had been packing up his stuff, anxious to go meet Elio for dinner.

He didn’t give his normal greeting. Just a “hey,” because he assumed it was Elio calling. His colleagues had left to start their weekends hours ago and even with finals looming, students did not call this late on a Friday.

“Oliver?”

He recognized the voice instantly. “Hi . . .” He said. And then trying again, “Hi, mom.”

His first thought was that something was wrong. His mother hadn’t called in months, and she had never called him at work. He couldn’t even remember giving her the number. Unless . . . she had saved his business card? The one he’d mailed his parents when he first started his job at Columbia. Proof of his achievement.

“Is everything okay?” He asked.

“Yes. Your father’s fine.” With his bubbie gone, there was no one else Oliver could be asking about. “How are the boys?”

“They’re good. _Very_ good. Simon started preschool this Fall and Noah is walking now.”

“That’s good. Do they have everything they need?” She asked.

“Yes,” he answered.

“Good,” she said again.

Oliver had no idea what to say next, so a moment of silence passed between them.

“Listen, I’ll be busy tomorrow, so I wanted to call and wish you a happy Hanukkah. I was thinking about my mother, and I know she would have called you.”

This is how his mother spoke. He’d nearly forgotten since it had been almost a year since he’d last heard her voice. She couldn’t be calling because _she_ was thinking of him.

“Thank you.”

“Well, I better get going.”

“Okay. Goodbye.”

He hung up the phone and it immediately rang again. He half expected it to be her, calling to say more. Maybe to acknowledge this time that they hadn’t spoken in a year.Silence had always defined their relationship, but a year of it without even one of these pointless calls had been new. His punishment for embarrassing his parents with a divorce.

The voice he heard instead was one of light and love and happiness. “ _Oliver_ , I’m just leaving school now. Running a little late, but on my way. I’m sorry. Rehearsal ran over.”

“It’s okay, baby. Meet me at the bar on our block.”

“I thought you wanted to try the new place?” Elio asked.

“Next time.” Oliver replied. “Tonight, I want something familiar.”

“Okay, see you soon. Love you.”

“I love you.”

Oliver left his office immediately. He didn’t think about anything as he walked through campusto the subway station. It was dark and cold.

As he waited for the train, he began to process what had happened. He wanted to brush it off, let it go. What _had_ really happened anyway? His mother had called to wish him a happy Hanukkah. It probably wasn’t even worth mentioning to Elio. He spoke to _his_ parents every week.

This had always been the issue. Friends would ask why he didn’t go home for the summer. Girlfriends wondered why they weren’t invited to meet his parents. Rachel, who should have known better by then, in disbelief when they didn’t come to see him graduate. Elio asked questions, but Oliver knew his answers did not amount to anything close to a full picture.

What could he say? His parents didn’t yell. His father hadn’t hit him since Oliver was 13 and already two inches taller than him. He always had what he needed and he didn’t ask for anything more.

He started boarding school at 14, coming home only for Summer and winter break. When he left for college, that was it. He never came home again for more than a week. When he married Rachel, she put an end to him staying in his parents’ house. It wasn’t good for him, she insisted, so on their annual visit, they always stayed in a hotel, even in the early years when they could barely afford it.

He was so lost in thought by the time he emerged from the train station that he was on autopilot as he made his way to the bar. As soon as he walked in out of the cold, Elio was smiling at him. He was sitting at the bar and had obviously been watching the door, waiting for Oliver to arrive.

Oliver hugged him tight and said, “Hi, baby.”

When Elio pulled back he asked, “What’s wrong?”

Oliver wasn’t so good anymore at hiding himself. Not from Elio. “Let me get a drink and I’ll tell you.”

“I ordered you a beer. It’s on the way.” Elio said. “Is everything okay? The boys—?”

“Everything’s okay,” Oliver interrupted. “My mom called this afternoon. That’s all.”

Elio couldn’t hide his surprise at that. “What did she say?”

Their drinks arrived just then and Oliver took a sip of his beer before responding. “She wanted to wish me a happy Hanukkah.”

“Did she invite you to dinner next week? If you want to take the boys, that’s okay. I can stay here and work on school stuff.”

“No. They don’t celebrate Hanukkah.” Oliver said.

Elio nodded. “I know it’s not that significant, but we always celebrated. You know my parents will use any excuse to have people over.”

“It’s not that,” Oliver said. “They don’t celebrate any Jewish holidays. We never did growing up. My father’s not Jewish. We celebrated Christmas.”

“What?” Elio said. “But you . . . ?” He reached up to put his hand over the necklace hidden under his sweater. If they hadn’t been in public, he probably would have reached for Oliver’s.

“I didn’t really start getting in touch with Judaism until I went to college. I joined an organization there. What I knew was all from my bubbie, but things weren’t always good between her and my mother, so I didn’t get to go to her house all the time.”

“What did your mother say, Oliver?” Elio sounded protective.

“Just asked how the boys were doing, if they needed anything.”

“When was the last time she saw them?” Elio asked.

“After Noah was born, we went to visit them in Connecticut.”

“How many times have they even _seen_ Simon?”

“Three or four. We used to take him once a year until we got divorced.”

Oliver saw Elio’s nostrils flare, but his expression soon changed to a pleasant and determined smile. He tapped Oliver’s knee. “Let’s get dinner here and take it home. I’ll order you a nice steak and we’ll get dessert to share.” It wasn’t a question. Elio was already flagging down the bartender and quickly put their order in. He also requested another round and the bill.

Elio changed the subject and caught Oliver up on his week. He’d come home late several nights, hours after Oliver had gone to sleep, so they hadn’t had much time together. There wasn’t much of a question of what they’d be doing that weekend. Elio had one more week of class and then final exams. Their only plans were to go to Rachel’s on Saturday night and light the menorah

They ate their dinner out of to-go containers while sitting on the couch. Oliver’s steak was so good, he fed Elio a piece. Elio ate it and smiled. He offered him another, his last piece, but Elio insisted he eat it.

After dinner, Elio made them each a mug of tea and they watched TV for a while before heading to bed. As instructed, Oliver went to the bathroom to get ready for bed while Elio turned off the lights and checked that the door was locked. He was taking care of him.

Oliver brushed his teeth and then walked into their room where Elio helped him take off his shirt and dress pants. He was perfectly capable of doing so himself, but with Elio helping, he didn’t have to think about anything except the decision he had made.

When Oliver woke up the next morning, Elio wasn’t his little spoon and he wasn’t sleeping next to him on his stomach as he sometimes did. Instead, at some point in the night, he had ended up on top of Oliver, his weight a welcome comfort. Oliver wrapped his arms around his sleeping boyfriend and Elio burrowed further into his chest.

He watched him sleep, felt him breathe. His face was hidden by a mess of curls. When Oliver pushed some of them back, there was a small whine from sleeping Elio and he leaned into the touch. Oliver watched him for another half hour before Elio began to stir.

“Morning, baby,” he said when he opened his eyes and found Oliver watching him.

“That’s my line,” Oliver said with a smirk.

“We can share it, “ Elio replied. “Are you feeling better?”

Oliver nodded. “I want to talk to you about something, but not until we have coffee.”

“You stay here,” Elio said, pulling himself up and off of Oliver. “I’ll get it.”

“No, no, no, no, no,” Oliver said, picking Elio up under his legs and carrying him out into the hall.

“ _Oliver!_ ” Elio shouted, but he wrapped his arms around Oliver’s neck and held on.

Once they had their coffee, Elio looked at him expectantly. Oliver raised his eyebrows back at Elio, as if he had no idea what he was trying to say.

“ _Oliverrr_ ,” Elio said again.

“Let’s sit down,” Oliver said, pulling Elio toward the couch. They set their mugs down on the coffee table and then Oliver took a seat and motioned for Elio to sit in his lap. He needed him close.

“I’m going to tell my parents about us,” Oliver said.

Elio took this information in and didn’t respond immediately. Finally, he leaned his forehead into the side of Oliver’s face and said, “Okay.”

They sat with that for a moment and then Elio opened his mouth to speak, but seemed unable to land on one question to vocalize.

“Ask whatever you want, baby.”

“What does this mean?” He asked quickly, now that he’d been given permission.

“They probably won’t speak to me again, but I’ll leave that up to them. I don’t want to see them or let them near my children unless they’re accepting of us.”

“Why now?” Elio asked next. “Because your mom called?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. Not just telling them about us. Before there was an _us_ , I thought about cutting ties once and for all. There’s almost nothing connecting us now anyway.”

Oliver shook his head. “I wasn’t ready before. I know I should have been. Especially . . . especially when my choice was to be with you or lose my family. I wasn’t ready then. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Oliver.” Elio tightened his arms around Oliver’s neck.

“All my life I thought I was defying them. I’d find a way to rebel and do what I wanted, but I had to be exceptional. My dad wanted me to play football. I ran cross country instead and was All State by sophomore year. They wanted me to go to Yale. I chose Harvard. They wanted me to be a lawyer. I got a doctorate. They wanted me to get a real job. I found a tenure-track position at an Ivy League university. They wanted me to marry a good Christian girl. I found the most accomplished, likable Jewish woman in the tri-state area. A _lawyer_ , for god’s sake, who gave them two grandsons.”

“I thought I was defying them, but I was playing right into their expectations every time. I thought if I could be exceptional in every way, I’d be free.”

“Were they abusive?” Elio asked quietly.

“No. Not like you might be thinking. They were neglectful, withholding, never loving. Nothing I did ever mattered unless it was the wrong thing. Nothing was ever acknowledged for what it was. I’m not trying to say I had it worse than anyone else. Just . . . when Simon was born, I couldn’t imagine ever treating this precious little person the way they treated me. Like an _inconvenience_.”

“They weren’t the parents you deserved.” Elio said. “But you’re the most loving, patient, giving father to your sons. They are completely themselves with you, because they know you accept them and love them.”

After all of what he had confessed, it was Elio’s words that made Oliver emotional. He nodded into him.

“I know it doesn’t make up for what you’re losing, but Annella and Samuel Perlman love you unconditionally. They loved you even when you broke their _only_ son’s heart.” Elio was emotional too, but he was speaking with humor. “I understand that even less now than I did at the time. If anyone breaks Simon’s heart or Noah’s, they’re dead to me. I’m not going to call them at the end of every semester to see how they’re doing or send them a holiday card.”

Oliver let out a laugh that broke the tension. “I love you, baby. I’m able to do this because of you. I’ve always been scared that if I was myself, I’d end up alone without anyone. You give me courage and make me feel safe.”

“Oliver,” Elio said, tightening his arms around Oliver’s neck again and moving his face in close. “There are so many people who love you.”

Oliver turned his head to give Elio a quick kiss and then smiled against his lips.

When they pulled back, Elio asked, “I know you think it will never happen, but what will you do if they accept us? Can you forgive everything else?”

“No,” Oliver said. “It won’t . . . baby, it’s not going to happen. I’ll let the boys decide when they’re older if they want a relationship with my parents, but when they’re this young, I’m not going to let them be hurt by grandparents who show no interest in getting to know them. They have Rachel’s parents, who are not perfect, but they love the boys. And I hope they’ll have your parents too.”

“Of course.” Elio said. “I think my parents are trying to be respectful and not overstep, but there’s nothing they would love more.”

“Tell them there’s no reason to hold back.”

Elio smiled. “I will.”

“Have you asked all your questions?”

“What did Rachel think of all this?” Elio asked. “I have a hard time believing she kept quiet.”

“She was the first person to ever say my parents were awful. It was implied a lot with other people, like friends’ parents and stuff, but she said it without hesitation and it made me feel so . . . validated. That was when we were still in college. After we got married, she was always polite to them, but we mostly kept our distance. Ask her anything you want to know, baby. You know she’ll tell you anything.”

Elio nodded. “When are you going to tell them? How?”

“I don’t know. I’ll probably call my mom, but I’m worried she won’t tell my dad the truth, so I might write him a letter. I want to do it soon. This week.

“Do you want me to be there when you do?” Elio asked.

“Maybe not with me in the room, but close.” Oliver said. And then rushed to add, “If you have time. I know you’re busy with finals.”

“I always have time for you.”

Oliver smiled. “Okay. Let’s get to work. We have to leave for Rachel’s by four-thirty.”

Elio worked diligently and Oliver tried to focus on his research, but felt more useful making tea for Elio and then lunch, so he could keep working.

Later he dressed in the outfit Elio had picked out for him—his cream-colored sweater and dark blue jeans with brown loafers. Elio took his hand and held it tight as they walked to Rachel’s.

Oliver hadn’t realized how vulnerable he was feeling until Rachel opened the door and Simon ran toward them and Noah followed. Oliver picked up Simon and shifted him to his right hip and then scooped up Noah with his left arm. Elio gave both boys a kiss on the cheek and then went to help Rachel in the kitchen.

“Did you have a good day, buddy?” Oliver asked Simon.

“Yeah! We went to the park and museum with Nomi and her mommy.” Naomi, _Nomi_ as Simon called her, was his best friend from school.

“What did you see at the museum?”

“We did an art project. I can show you!” He squirmed and Oliver reluctantly set him down. He ran down the hall to his room and quickly returned, holding up a painting for Oliver to see.

“Wow, buddy. This is so good. I love the colors you chose.”

“You can have it, daddy.” Simon said. “If you want . . . .”

“Thank you.” Oliver replied. “I’m going to put it up in my office at work, okay?”

Simon grinned at that and jumped up and down.

“Well,” Rachel said. “It looks like we missed sundown, but let’s light the candles!”

“I want to do it!” Simon said.

“You can,” Rachel agreed. “But your daddy is going to help you.”

None of them were sticklers for the details of the holiday, and Oliver was realizing he would need to brush up on things before Simon was old enough to start asking a lot of questions he couldn’t answer. For now, it was enough that Elio held Noah, Rachel read the blessing, and Oliver helped Simon use the shammash to light the first candle.

It had been Elio’s idea for them all to celebrate together, and Oliver was grateful for that.He and Rachel had done a lot of things together as a family in the first several months of their separation and divorce, but they had eventually started to go their own ways in the interest of moving on.

Something about not just Elio’s insistence, but his presence made doing things as a family feel like something new, a way forward, instead of holding onto the past.

They ate latkes and then Simon and Oliver read aloud from a kid’s book that told the story of Hanukkah. Simon sat on his lap as they worked through the big words together.

When Simon asked for another story, Rachel said he would have to wait until after his bath. Then she turned to Oliver and asked, “Do you want to get them ready for bed?”

“Yes.” He said. “Come on, buddy. Time for your bath.” He scooped up Noah again and Simon followed him to the bathroom.

Simon told Oliver more about his day at the museum until Noah grew tired of being ignored and got their attention by splashing his hands in the water. When Simon splashed him back, Oliver said, “Be gentle,” but Noah just giggled.

“Daddy, he likes it!”

They splashed for a while longer and then Oliver scrubbed them clean and washed their hair. Once the boys were dressed in their pajamas, he brought them out to say goodnight to Elio and Rachel, who were sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea.

In the 10 minutes they chatted, Noah ran around the living room, getting out the last of his energy, was passed from Elio to Rachel for goodnight hugs, and then fell asleep on Oliver’s shoulder.

Oliver instructed Simon to pick out the book he wanted to read, while he walked next door to Noah’s room to put him down. His baby boy was getting bigger every day, and he wanted him to remain small at the same time that he couldn’t wait for him to start talking more.

He read Simon a story and when he begged for another, Oliver was tempted to give in, but Simon looked tired, so he said no. Simon pouted for only a minute and then climbed under the covers that Oliver held up for him.

“Daddy, are you going to come over again tomorrow to light the candle?”

“No, buddy. Your mom will help you with that. I’ll pick you up from daycare on Friday, though, and we’ll light the final candles together, okay?”

“Okay,” Simon grumbled, disappointed or tired, it was hard to say.

“Will you stay until I fall asleep?”

“Yes,” Oliver said, pushing Simon’s hair back from his face. He was still very blonde, but his hair was slowly growing darker like Oliver’s. He leaned in and kissed Simon’s cheek. “Love you.”

“Wuv you.” Simon said.

He sat on the floor next to Simon’s bed until he was sure he was asleep and then he went next door to check on Noah before joining Rachel and Elio in the kitchen.

“Thanks for putting the boys to bed,” Rachel said.

“Of course.” He responded. “Thanks for giving me some more time with them.”

They got up and made their way slowly toward the door.

“Elio told me your mom called.”

“Yeah.” Oliver replied. “I wanted to give you a heads up that I’m going to tell them about Elio and I. If they contact you or anything, please ignore them. If they tell your parents, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about that,” she said. “Oliver, I’m proud of you. I know this has been a long time coming.”

Rachel raised her arms and he leaned down to hug her. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Of course. Let me know if you need anything.”

Elio handed Oliver his coat and they said their goodbyes to Rachel before heading home.

“Feeling okay?” Elio asked.

“Yeah,” Oliver said. “Just being with the boys . . . I know I’m making the right decision.”

“Good,” Elio said. “I talked to Rachel.”

“What did she say?”

“A lot of the stuff you’d already told me.” He said. “But we talked about her parents too, and your relationship makes a lot more sense to me now.”

“How so?” Oliver asked.

“Just understanding better what you both got out of it and why you married. I mean, I know she was pregnant with Simon, but . . . .”

“It kind of felt like our only option at the time, but it’s not a decision we made lightly.”

“I know.” Elio said.

“Does it still upset you?” Oliver asked.

Elio shrugged. “I guess just that I don’t get to have that.”

“Marriage?” Oliver asked.

Elio nodded.

“With me?”

It was dark on the street, but Oliver could see the whites of Elio’s eyes as he rolled them.

He laughed and leaned in for a quick kiss. “Baby, if you want to get married, we can get married. It might not be legal yet, but we can still make a commitment to each other.”

Elio bit his lips, but couldn’t hide his smile.

Oliver grinned back. “Where do you want to get married?” He asked. And then quickly added, “ _Never mind_. The villa, of course.”

“ _Oliverrr_.” Elio whined, leaning his face into Oliver’s shoulder as they kept walking.

“Too much?” Oliver asked. “You let me know when you’re ready to talk about it. I’ll ask properly when the time comes.”

Elio stopped walking and lifted his face for another kiss. They were still on the street, so Oliver gave him another quick peck and smiled at him. Elio gave him the sweetest smile back.

They continued their walk home in a comfortable silence, but Oliver’s mind was spinning. He was thinking next Summer at the villa. They were already planning on taking the boys. He would want them to be part of the wedding.

Though, Oliver thought, he would understand if Elio wanted to wait until he finished school. In that case, they’d do it the Summer after. It would be hard to wait that long.

Oliver had only been thinking about marrying Elio for 10 seconds now, and already he didn’t want to wait any longer.


	15. Elio is All In (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio is all in, but first . . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight change of plans! This was supposed to be the penultimate chapter, but it was shaping up to be 2-3 times longer than a normal chapter, so I decided to break it up. This is part 1. Part 2 coming soon. And then a final chapter. Enjoy!

Elio thought he could just skip over it. He now had everything that he had once lost and so much more. But when he woke up early on the last day of Hanukkah, he felt bereft.

And somehow Oliver just knew. At the very first sound of a small sniffle from Elio, his eyes flew open and he turned toward his boyfriend and pulled him into his arms.

“It’s okay,” he said. And when Elio opened his mouth to say something and nothing came out, he replied, “I know.”

Oliver talked to him in his steady, calm voice. Elio climbed on top of him and rested his ear against his chest just to feel the vibrations. He wasn’t aware of everything Oliver said, but the message was clear.

Elio hated himself for crying, for making Oliver feel bad for making that call. He struggled to catch his breath trying to get himself under control. “Breathe,” Oliver said. “Take your time. It’s okay. Breathe through your feelings.”

“I’m sorry,” Elio said into his chest.

“You have nothing to apologize for, baby.”

Elio’s breathing slowly calmed down. He was able to catch one deep breath and then two.

“I just remember . . . sitting . . . in front of the fire.” He took another deep breath to steady himself. “And trying to make sense of what was happening while it was all crashing down on me. I don’t even know what I was thinking. We had barely spoken in months. I guess I thought that if I came here for college, I could convince you . . . .”

“Yeah?” Oliver asked. “And how would you have done that? Same subtle moves you used in Crema?”

Elio laughed. He couldn’t help himself and Oliver knew exactly when and how to lighten the mood. “ _You_ kissed _me_ ,” he argued, raising his head to look at Oliver.

Oliver smiled at him and took his face in his hands, wiping away his tears with his thumbs. “How could I resist?”

Elio leaned forward and Oliver pulled him into a better position and gave him the grounding kiss he’d been after.

“Baby,” Oliver said when he pulled back, still holding Elio’s face in his hands. “Is it just the memories or is it something more?”

What was closest to the truth was that Elio didn’t know. It was more than the memory of what had happened five years ago, but he didn’t understand what was happening now, why he still felt haunted by all of this, why he couldn’t let go of it the way Oliver had.

He should have told Oliver the truth. It felt wrong not to. But he was still feeling very protective over Oliver, who only days before had come out to his parents.

“Just the memory, I think,” he said, quickly leaning in again for a kiss. They would talk about it later.

Elio kissed Oliver’s collarbone and then rested his face in the crook between Oliver’s neck and shoulder. He liked to breathe him in and replace all the air in his lungs with Oliver.

He felt Oliver’s hands on his back, skimming down his sides, before he pulled the comforter up over them. They were like that for several minutes before Elio rested his lips gently against Oliver’s neck and then stuck his tongue out for a kitten lick.

“What are you doing?” Oliver asked. Elio could hear his smile.

“Nothing,” he said, but he kept kissing up Oliver’s neck and rocked his hips forward with a small grunt.

“What do you want, baby?”

 _You_ was his normal answer, but today he only managed, “ _please_.”

“One of these days,” Oliver started as he rolled Elio onto his back and climbed over him. “I’m going to get you to tell me in very specific detail what you want.”

Elio ran his hands through Oliver’s hair and leaned up to kiss him. He thought he heard something then, but Oliver was now kissing the spot just under his ear and he didn’t want him to stop.

“Daddy!” They heard a yell from outside their door. “I’m up!”

Elio’s only reaction was to purse his lips in a small pout. Oliver smiled at him and gave him one last quick kiss before saying, “You knew that was going to happen.”

Oliver got up and pulled on a pair of boxers before throwing Elio a pair. Once Elio had pulled his on and the Columbia sweatshirt too, Oliver opened the door and he heard him say, “It’s early, buddy. Are you trying to wake the whole neighborhood?” He heard Simon giggle and he knew Oliver had scooped him up and was tickling him.

This was typical. The three of them, Elio, Simon, and Noah, demanding Oliver’s attention just about every second of the day, sometimes crying or yelling for it when he hadn’t magically anticipated their needs. And he responded with a smile, with love.

In a comically loud whisper, he heard Oliver say from the hallway, “Go give Elio a hug while I get Noah.”

And then Elio heard the patter of feet on the wood floor before an _oof_ as Simon jumped onto the bed. He laughed and leaned over to pull the boy up. “Good morning, Simon.”

“Morning,” Simon said, wrapping his arms around Elio’s neck.

“Did you sleep well?” Elio asked, gently pushing the hair back from Simon’s face.

“Yeah,” he said.

They heard a cry from the other room and then Oliver appeared in the doorway with Noah in his arms. He let out one more cry before Oliver was able to calm him down.

“I think someone would like to go back to sleep on his favorite pillow,” Oliver said. “Do you have time?”

Elio nodded and Oliver brought Noah over to his side of the bed and set him down on Elio’s chest before collapsing onto the bed himself and tickling Simon some again.

Noah grabbed fistfuls of Elio’s sweatshirt, insurance against any attempts to remove him from his spot prematurely. His eyes drifted closed again and his breathing evened out.“My little barnacle is tired.”

“He’s just like you,” Oliver said. “He’d prefer to sleep through the morning.”

“Daddy, can we go to the park today?” Simon asked.

“For a little while, but not long. It’s too cold.” Oliver answered. And then to Elio, “I’ll take them out this morning, so you can study here. We’ll come back in time for Noah’s nap. Did you book a practice room?”

“Yeah, for the afternoon. What time do you need me home?”

“Rachel’s coming over at 5. We’ll eat shortly after that.”

“Ewio is going to practice?” Simon asked. “I want to come.”

“Not this time, buddy.” Oliver said. “Elio has a lot of work to do.”

“But Ewio, I want to see you play.” Simon pouted.

“I’ll take you soon,” Elio said. “And I’ll let you listen to my Walkman, okay? It has a tape of me playing.”

“‘Kay,” Simon said, not fully satisfied, but soon on to the next thing, asking Oliver what park they were going to.

Elio looked down at Noah, who was sleeping peacefully on his chest. They remained exactly in that position for almost an hour until he started to wake and Oliver took him out to the kitchen for breakfast. Oliver fed Noah and Simon cereal and made eggs for himself and Elio.

He had his plans and a lot of work to do, but there was nothing Elio wanted more than to head out into the city with Oliver and the boys. Today, especially, he did not want to be alone. Elio was counting down the days until he would be done with school for the semester. His last exam was on Thursday and there was too much to do before then.

+++

It was Tuesday night and Oliver had put the boys to bed while Elio studied at the desk in the living room. Just as Oliver had suggested the very first time Elio had been in the apartment, it had become his workspace. A place where he could leave his notes and books scattered about.

Oliver brought him a cup of tea, setting it down on the desk before wrapping his arms around Elio from behind and kissing his cheek, his temple. “You’re working so hard, baby.”

“I can’t wait to be done,” Elio said for what had to be the 100th time.

“What are you going to do with all your free time?” Oliver asked.

“Spend it with you and Simon and Noah and my parents. Maybe read a novel or two.”

“Yeah?” Oliver asked. “Which ones?”

“I’m not sure. I can’t remember what I have in my trunk at Edna’s. I’ll have to bring some over.”

“When do you want to bring everything over? Before your parents get here? We won’t have much time to clean out your room after that.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I told Edna I wasn’t sure.” Elio said.

Oliver’s arms, which had been holding him tight, went slack for a second and then he let go and stood up. “But, this month, right? You only paid through December.”

“I wasn’t sure, and there was so much going on, so she said I could go month to month.”

“Elio, what? Why?” Oliver asked, his voice raising.

“I just didn’t know what you wanted and we hadn’t talked about it—.” Elio said, twisting in his chair to look at Oliver.

“We agreed a long time ago on December.” Oliver interrupted.

“Oliver,” Elio said, trying to calm him down. “It isn’t a big deal. I didn’t know it was so important to you.”

“It _is_ a big deal, Elio. And I think you knew _exactly_ how I felt about all of this.” Oliver ran a hand through his hair.

“Oliver, you’re going to wake Simon . . . .”

“I can’t _believe_ I’ve been talking about marriage and more kids, and you don’t even want to move in with me. You must think I’m completely ridiculous. _Fuck_.”

“ _No_ ,” Elio said. “Oliver, calm down. Please, I—“

“ _Don’t_ tell me to calm down,” Oliver yelled and then after a deep breath, he added more calmly: “Just admit that you knew how I felt and you’ve been avoiding this whole subject. God, I’m so stupid. I knew something was wrong.”

“ _No_ ,” Elio said again, barely holding back tears. He had never seen Oliver angry like this and he didn’t know what to do.

“You haven’t slept there in months, almost all of your stuff his here. Why do you need that place?”

“I don’t know . . . “ Elio started, feeling defensive. “I just wanted to—.”

“I don’t think you know _what_ you want.” Oliver said.

Elio could not hold back his tears any longer and he couldn’t stand Oliver being this angry at him. He gathered up his papers and his Walkman and quickly moved around Oliver to grab his backpack, which was sitting by the door.

“Where are you going?” Oliver asked.

“I think I should leave,” Elio said, his voice shaky.

Before Oliver could respond, they heard the door to the boys’ room open and Simon was there. “Daddy?” he asked, confused.

Elio used that moment to open the door. He feared that Oliver would try to keep him there, but the only thing he did was say, “ _Elio_ ,” one last time before going to comfort his son.

“Where is Ewio going?” Simon asked just before Elio pulled the door shut behind himself.

He was wearing jeans and the Columbia sweatshirt he’d been living in for days. He had managed to slip on his sneakers, but he didn’t have a coat. It was only 10pm. Not that late, but still very cold. Even New Yorkers had been complaining about how it was.

Luckily, his keys were in the front pocket of his backpack, where he always kept them. He hugged his arms tight around his body as he waited for the subway. When he was back on the street, he walked quickly toward Edna’s.

He let himself in the front door and his roommate Dan peered over the top of the stairs, the phone in his hand. “Yeah, he’s here. Just walked in. Do you want to talk to him?” There was a pause and then Dan said, “Okay. Yeah, you too. Night!”

Elio just looked up at him and he asked. “What’s wrong? Oliver just called to ask if you were here.”

“We had a fight,” Elio answered as he trudged up the stairs. “I’m going to bed.”

“Well, hello to you too. Long time no see.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just been a long day.” Elio said, unlocking the door to his room and throwing his bag inside before making his way to the bathroom.

“Apologize tomorrow. Everything will be okay.” Dan said.

Elio nodded. He didn’t want to talk about any of this. “Thanks, Dan. Night.”

He washed the tears from his face and brushed his teeth with the stale toothbrush he hadn’t used in two months. He’d stopped spending even the occasional night in this house sometime in October.

Once he was done in the bathroom, Elio walked into his room and shut the door. He didn’t even bother to turn on the lights. He just pushed off his jeans and climbed into bed.

He’d told himself when he left the apartment that he was leaving because he had an exam tomorrow and he needed to study. Now he was telling himself he would study in the morning. But if he was hoping to fall right to sleep, he was disappointed.

Elio could not stop himself from playing the fight over and over in his mind. Oliver was right. He had known how he felt about this space.So much that Elio had hardly mentioned Edna’s name in weeks, because he knew it bothered Oliver.

Oliver had also made it clear from the beginning that he wanted Elio with him in his bed every night. And Elio had loved that, loved being wanted and needed, but he’d held out, trying to preserve something, a piece of himself that did not belong to Oliver.

He’d seen that first Summer in Crema that if he tested Oliver, if he pushed him to his limits, he would fight back.But that had been before they were together, when Oliver was still questioning his motives. There had been nothing like that since, even when Elio had done things that hurt him. He carried so much responsibility, took care of them all, and he made it look easy.

Oliver had asked for so little, but what he had asked for, Elio had been unwilling to give, at least completely. He’d kept this space for himself in case he ever needed it, but having it had _created_ the need for it. If he’d given it up when he’d started to think of Oliver’s apartment as home or even been willing to give it up at the end of the year, as Oliver had expected, then right now he would be finishing his studying and climbing into bed with Oliver, who would wrap his arms tight around him and kiss the nape of his neck.

He started crying again, tears slowly leaking from the corners of his eyes.

When he woke up the next morning, it took Elio a moment to remember where he was. He pulled the comforter tight around himself, because it was cold and he didn’t have Oliver to keep him warm.

Elio soon pulled himself out of bed and put on his jeans, which were sitting on the floor. He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. And then he grabbed the hallway phone and pulled it into the closet they used as a makeshift phone booth.

He punched in the number on his calling card and then the phone number, trying to reach his dad in his office at the university. If he wasn’t there, he’d try to reach him at home.

Elio was relieved at just the sound of his dad’s voice when he heard, “ _pronto_ ” on the other end of the line.

“Dad,” he said. “It’s me.”

“Elly, is everything okay?” He asked.

“Yes, it’s fine. I’m fine. I just . . . Oliver and I had a fight, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay,” Samuel replied. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“He’s mad at me,” Elio said, emotional already. “I . . . he thought I was going to officially move in this month, but I decided to keep the room I rent for a little while longer.”

“Why did you decide that?”

“I just . . . I don’t know. I needed to tell Edna, my landlord, by December 1st if I wanted to move out, and things were just so busy and I decided this would be easier.”

“Didn’t you know this decision was coming?”

“Yes,” Elio admitted.

“But you weren’t ready?”

“I don’t know. We practically live together already, but the idea of giving up this place . . . .” Elio trailed off.

“What are you afraid of?” His dad asked.

“That I’ll get hurt again.” He admitted quickly.

“I thought things were going well with you guys.”

“They _are_ ,” Elio said. “I just . . . Oliver . . . what happened before with us doesn’t seem to bother him. But I can’t let it go. I’m scared I never will.”

“What will happen if you can’t let it go?” Samuel asked.

“I’m worried it’s going to sabotage things _later_.”

“How does keeping the room fit into this?”

“I don’t know . . . .” He said again. “I guess . . . I was thinking about it last night, and I think that I’m scared to give all of myself, that I’m trying to protect a piece of me. The room is the only thing I have here that’s just mine.”

“You don’t think your heart is safe with Oliver?”

Elio thought about that. “No, I do.” He answered. “I think he was hurt that I hadn’t moved in, but what was worse was that I didn’t tell him. I didn’t understand enough to tell him, but we both knew there was _something_.”

“Have you apologized?” Samuel asked.

“No, I . . . I left. I came here to my room for the night. I haven’t talked to him . . . .” Elio started to get choked ups at the confession.

“Elio . . . ?”

“Dad, I think I really messed up. I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t overthink this. Just apologize. Tell Oliver how you feel.”

When Elio didn’t respond, his Dad continued: “I know you love those boys, Elly. It’s obvious every time we talk to you. You don’t have to let go of your pain until you’re ready, but maybe you can start to accept that in losing Oliver for those years, you now get to have this life with him and his sons.”

Elio exhaled loudly and tried to hold back his tears.

Samuel chuckled at his son’s dramatics. “Does that help?”

“Yeah.” He said. “Thanks, Dad. I need to go study for an exam, but I’m going to take your advice.”

“Call if you want to talk some more, okay? Good luck with your exam. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Elio continued to think about his dad’s advice as he walked to the library to study. His exam wasn’t until early afternoon, so he studied all morning. Oliver was on his mind the entire time, but he was still able to focus.

After the exam, which he felt quite good about, he went back to the library to type up the final version of a paper both Oliver and his friend Erin had given him feedback on. Just seeing Oliver’s handwritten notes in the margins made Elio miss him. He finished the paper and turned it in just before the faculty offices closed at 6pm.

He didn’t know what to do then. All day Elio had assumed that he would go home to Oliver, but now that seemed impossible. He couldn’t show up like nothing had happened, but they couldn’t really talk until the boys were asleep.

Elio finally convinced himself to go back to his room at Edna’s, so he could call Oliver from there. As he walked, he practiced what he would say. He wanted to apologize and explain himself. He didn’t want to cry again, but he was tearing up just rehearsing the conversation.

It was dark and he still didn’t have a proper coat with him, so he was hunched over to make himself small and try to protect himself from the wind. Elio was on the first step up to Edna’s building when he noticed him sitting on the stairs in front of him, a cigarette in his hand.

“Oliver,” he said, immediately falling into him, his arms wrapping around Oliver’s shoulders. He seemed to have startled his boyfriend, but he recovered quickly, wrapping his left arm tight around Elio’s back and stamping out the cigarette with his right hand before wrapping that arm around him too.

Elio was sobbing almost instantly and Oliver was quiet, but he held him tight, moving one hand up to cup the back of his head.

Soon Oliver said, “Come on, baby. Let’s go inside.”

“We can go home,” Elio said.

“Elio, you’re shivering. It’s too cold. Come inside.”

Oliver stood up and pulled Elio to his feet and then took his hand and pulled him into the building. Once they were inside, Elio was shocked when Oliver knocked on Edna’s door.

“Come in.” They heard and Oliver opened the door wide enough to stick his head in.

“He’s here. Thanks, Edna. We’re going upstairs.”

“Okay, thanks honey. I appreciate the update.” Edna said.

Oliver shut the door to Edna’s apartment and then headed for the stairs, stopping briefly to pick up his duffel bag by the door before heading up, Elio still in tow. He was confused about what was happening, but he decided to hold his questions.

At the top of the stairs, Oliver let go and motioned towards the door to Elio’s room. He quickly swung his backpack from his shoulder to reach for his keys to open the door.His fingers were almost numb, so it look him a second to get the right key in the door.

The room was dark and Oliver quickly moved to turn on some lights and then set his bag on the bed and started rifling through it. Elio recognized a pair of his boxers and sweats as Oliver handed them to him and said, “Go warm up in the shower. You can change into these.”

“What? Oliver, I want to talk. I . . . where are the boys?”

“They’re with Rachel,” Oliver answered. “And we’re going to talk, but you need to warm up first. You’re still shivering and your hands are freezing.”

Oliver removed his own wool coat and then with a hand on Elio’s back, he gently guided him into the bathroom, shutting the door behind them and turning the water on before he started lifting the Columbia sweatshirt up.

Elio was freezing. He could feel his lower jaw quivering and it had been a challenge to speak clearly. He cooperated as Oliver helped him remove all of his clothes, but before Oliver could steer him towards the shower, Elio wrapped his arms tight around Oliver’s chest and hung on until he felt Oliver’s arms coming around him.

“I’m sorry,” Elio mumbled into his chest. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Oliver replied, kissing the top of his head. “Baby, even your hair is cold. Please get into the warm water.”

“You too,” Elio said.

He started unbuttoning Oliver’s shirt, but it was a struggle just to get the first one undone with his numb fingers, so Oliver said, “Okay, okay,” and quickly unbuttoned the rest of the buttons and in another quick move, pushed down his pants and boxers. He urgently motioned towards the shower again and Elio finally stepped in, knowing Oliver was right behind him.

It was a shower-bath combo and not quite big enough for the two of them, which was fine by Elio. Even as the water started to warm him, he didn’t want Oliver getting too far away. They stood under the water in silence until Elio finally started thinking clearly again and asked, “Why are _you_ sorry?”

“I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. I was trying to be patient and understanding about this place, and not take it personally that you still kept some things here. I told myself I could make it through December, but when I found out you were planning to stay . . . I just lost it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Elio replied. It bothered him to see Oliver upset. “A lot of what you said was true. I did know how you felt, even if we didn’t talk about it. I should have said more, but I didn’t understand my own feelings and I didn’t want them to hurt you.”

“What is it?” Oliver asked. “Why don’t you want to live with me?”

“I do want to live with you,” Elio rushed to answer. “And I want to marry you and raise children with you. It’s hard for me to think about those things, because they just seem so unreal, but I want them with you so badly.”

“Then what is it?” Oliver repeated his question, more desperate than Elio had seen him before.

Elio rested his forehead on Oliver’s chest as the water continued raining down on them. “I . . .” he started finally, lifting his head. “I’m just scared of this going away, of getting hurt again. And so I guess I was trying to protect a piece of myself. I don’t know . . . .”

“Okay,” Oliver said. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Elio shook his head. “I hurt you.”

“Elio. What hurt worse is that you left. I _hate_ that you left. I hate that we didn’t have the time to work this out last night. That I couldn’t apologize right away. I could have given you space if you needed it. Instead you were just gone and I worried about you all night.”

“I’m sorry,” Elio repeated, looking up into Oliver’s eyes, blinking to keep the water out of them. “It felt wrong. I just panicked and was stressed about school on top of everything else.”

“How did your exam go today?” Oliver asked, as if he just remembered.

Elio laughed at the abrupt change of subject. “Are we done talking? The exam went well and I finished the paper you gave notes on. Just my performance piece tomorrow and I’m done.”

“Good,” Oliver replied. “We should get moving or everyone is going to suspect we’re up to something in here.”

“Who’s everyone?” Elio asked.

“Jeff is in his room. Dan is upstairs. And Edna knows everything.”

“She does?” Elio asked.

“Yes,” Oliver replied, putting soap on his hand and running it over Elio’s chest. “I had tea with her while I was waiting for you. Then I found a cigarette still in my bag from Crema . . . .”

“How did you know I would come here?” Elio asked.

“It was just a guess. I waited for you this morning, but you didn’t come home. So I left a note for you there and decided to wait here for you to either call or show up.”

“I was going to call from here,” Elio said as Oliver massaged shampoo through his hair. “I’m sorry about the boys. What did you tell Rachel?” As close as he’d grown to Rachel, Elio hated the idea of her knowing he’d let Simon or Noah down in any way.

“Just that things were really busy with school and we could use a night to ourselves. Simon might tell her more, though.”

Elio closed his eyes and winced as Oliver gently tipped his head back to rinse out the shampoo.“Keep your eyes closed,” he said. “And stop worry about everything. It’s all going to be okay.”

Elio did as instructed and then took care of washing Oliver. They shared the only clean towel and then Elio dressed in the boxers, sweat pants, and long-sleeved shirt Oliver had brought into the bathroom for him and went to go grab from his room the clothes that Oliver had packed for himself.

“Let’s order pizza,” Oliver said after he was dressed. “I’m starving.”

“You don’t want to go home?” Elio asked.

“It’s 5 degrees outside, baby. And I think it would be better for us to spend the night here.”

Elio wasn’t sure exactly what he meant by the last part, but he couldn’t argue with the temperature. He put in an order for pizza at the place down the street and then they called Rachel’s to check in with her and talk to the boys.

“Yeah, everything’s okay,” Oliver said into the phone. “Thank you for taking care of the boys. I’m still planning to pick them up tomorrow night. What do you think?” Oliver waited for an answer Elio couldn’t hear and then said. “Okay, good. Yeah, put him on. Thanks.”

“Hi, buddy,” Oliver said a moment later. “Did you have a good day at school?”

Elio waited patiently, but felt anxious until he heard Oliver say, “Yeah, he’s right here. I’ll put him on. Love you.”

Oliver handed the phone to Elio. “Hi, Simon,” he said enthusiastically.

“Ewio, I didn’t see you this morning.” Came a small voice on the other end of the line.

“I’m sorry.” Elio said, his heart breaking. He almost added that he had been studying, but he didn’t want to lie. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, okay?”

“Will you come with daddy to pick us up?” Simon asked.

He’d never asked for that before and Elio knew he would be very busy the next day, but there was nothing more important than this. “Yes,” he answered. “What do you want to have for dinner?”

“Pizza!”

“You’ve got it,” Elio laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay. Bye Ewio.”

“Bye, buddy. I love you so much.”

After he hung up the phone, Elio found Oliver in his room, reading the book that had been sitting on his nightstand since September.

It was weird to see Oliver in this place. He made it feel like a home when Elio had never thought of it as more than a room. It was so obvious to him now that his home was with Oliver. It didn’t matter where they were.

They ate their dinner in Elio’s room and then, despite how early it was, got ready for bed. Elio stripped down to his boxers before climbing under the covers. He was cold again until Oliver joined him a minute later. With a little whine, Elio lifted Oliver’s shirt up and over the top of his head. Oliver cooperated with little more than an amused laugh before reaching back to turn off the bedside lamp.

“I have to tell you something,” Elio said, giving himself away with his smile.

“What’s that?”

“I promised Simon we could have pizza for dinner tomorrow.”

“ _Elio!_ ” Came Oliver’s fake outrage.

“He also asked me to be there for daycare pickup tomorrow.”

“He missed you this morning.”

“Was he okay last night?” Elio asked, looking more at Oliver’s neck than in his eyes.

“He was confused,” Oliver answered. “We’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Elio nodded, finally looking up at Oliver. He wanted a kiss.

Oliver saw his need and placed a gentle kiss to his lips and then nuzzled his neck. “I missed you. I couldn’t stand the thought of another night without you. I barely slept.”

Elio knew better than to apologize again. Instead he rolled onto his back, pulling Oliver with him, so he was pressed up to his side with one long arm across Elio’s body and his head on Elio’s shoulder. Elio then pulled the blankets up over them.

Oliver snuggled in closer and asked quietly, “What time is your exam tomorrow?”

“11.” He answered. “I need to warm up before.” His last exam was a performance for Professor Min, who earlier in the semester had questioned Elio’s passion for the piano.

“Are you ready for it?” Oliver asked.

“It would have been smart to practice tonight, but I think he’s looking for more that proficiency, so maybe it’s better not to over prepare. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway.”

Oliver chuckled softly. “I’m sure you’ll be amazing. You’ve been working so hard.”

“Thank you, baby.” Elio said, running his hands through Oliver’s hair. “Sleep now.”

Oliver closed his eyes and Elio watched him in the faint light as he fell asleep. He remembered the first time he had watched Oliver sleep. How surprised he’d been at how young he looked when he wasn’t carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Elio knew that Oliver was a light sleeper, but he couldn’t stop himself from gently skimming his fingertips around his beautiful face. There was no reaction when he traced his eyebrows or swooped down his nose, but when he placed his thumb on Oliver’s chin and then slowly moved up his jaw line, he smiled. That sweet little smile that was usually reserved for intimate moments.

He kissed that smile, rousing Oliver for a moment, who used the arm draped across Elio’s body to pull him closer and then fell back asleep, taking Elio with him.


	16. Elio is All In (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio is all in, but first he has to start telling people what he wants.

He woke up to find Oliver watching him and quickly turned back into the pillow, a smile on his face.

“Hey,” Oliver said, placing a large hand on Elio’s neck and running a thumb across his cheek. “Why are you hiding from me?”

Elio turned his head to look at Oliver again, smile still on his face. “You don’t know what it’s like to wake up to you with your scruff and your blue eyes. It’s just a lot first thing in the morning.”

Oliver laughed and leaned in to kiss Elio’s forehead. “You’re my angel and I love waking up to you every morning.”

Elio resisted the urge to turn into his pillow again.Instead they just stared at each other a moment until he saw something in Oliver’s face and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Oliver looked hesitant for a second and then leaned in again, resting his forehead against Elio’s. “You scared me,” he said.

“I’m _sorry_.” Elio replied immediately. “There is nothing I have ever wanted more than to be with you.”

He felt Oliver nod into him, but he was quiet.

“ _Elio_ , Elio, Elio, Elio, _Elio_.” He repeated.

And finally Elio felt a gentle kiss to the spot under his ear and a deep, “Ol-i-ver.”

Elio sighed and rolled onto his back, so that he could see Oliver’s face again. He was relieved to see a small smile there and that look that always made him feel not just loved, but adored.

Oliver relaxed next to him, draping an arm over Elio’s body. “I’m sorry too . . . I think I’ve been trying to make up for the time we lost by pushing for you to move in. I was looking at it as a sign of your commitment when there are more important signs, like how you love me and my boys and how they love you.”

Elio grinned. He couldn’t help it.

Oliver huffed a laugh. “Why are you _smiling_? I’m being serious!”

“ _Fuck!_ ” Elio laughed. “I’m sorry. I’m just so fucking relieved that you’ve been dealing with this too. I thought it was just me who was still struggling with what happened before.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” Oliver said. “I _want_ to live together, but I can wait until you’re ready.”

Elio nodded. “I thought . . . ” he started and then trailed off.

“What, baby?”

“I know I’ve never been in a serious relationship like this, but I thought we were doing such a good job communicating?”

“We were. We _are_. This is part of it.” Oliver said.

“Yeah?” Elio asked, wanting to believe Oliver.

“Yes.” Oliver confirmed. “We can’t avoid every bump in the road. Good will come from this. It already has.”

Elio nodded again.

“I haven’t been in a relationship like this before either, you know. Never had this kind of heart-soul connection before. It’s kind of overwhelming sometimes.”

“Especially when you wake up to your heart and soul staring at you.”

“ _Hey!_ ” Oliver said, snaking his hands down to Elio’s sides to tickle him.

Elio squirmed away, laughing but trying not to make noise. As soon as Oliver stopped tickling, he cuddled up next to him again.

They were quiet for a while and then Oliver said, “This is a comfortable bed. I should have slept over before.”

“I like _your_ bed.” Elio replied. “But this place isn’t so bad when you’re here with me.”

They cuddled in bed for a while longer, but when Elio started growing antsy about his exam, they got up to get ready for the day. Elio dressed in the jeans, shirt, and Juilliard sweatshirt that Oliver had packed for him. He hadn’t fully appreciated the night before that Oliver had packed them both everything they needed for the night.

The only thing he had not brought was Elio’s coat, but Oliver insisted Elio take his, and wouldn’t take _no_ for an answer. Elio finally put on the long wool coat. It smelled like Oliver.

At a diner nearby, Oliver ate breakfast and Elio sipped coffee. He never could eat before a performance of any kind. They danced around outside for a moment, not wanting to part, but not wanting to stand in the cold either. Finally, Oliver kissed Elio quickly on the cheek and whispered, “Good luck. You’ll be amazing.” He then turned and walked away.

Elio had a lot on his mind, but before he could get to any of that, he had his exam. He’d booked a practice room for the hour before and spent the time before that going through everything in his mind. He pulled Oliver’s coat tightly around himself and didn’t remove it until he walked into the room for his exam.

He played for 20 minutes, repeating a couple sections as requested. He tried to focus on the music and not think too much about what his instructor was thinking. It was brief, but for a moment, he felt himself get pulled into the music, lost in it. Then he reached the most difficult section and came back to himself, wanting to hit every note perfectly.

“Good, good,” Professor Min said. “That’s enough.”

Elio stopped playing and put his hands in his lap before looking up.

“You’re doing better. Did our conversation help?”

“It made me think about some things,” Elio said.

“I hope it wasn’t discouraging.”

“You were right about everything. It just made me question if this is what I want. I’m not the same person who auditioned in the Spring. A lot has changed in my personal life since then.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that . . . .”

“ _No_! It’s good. Um . . . .” Elio debated how honest he should be, but finally decided to trust his instincts. “My partner . . . we met years ago, but couldn’t be together then. We reunited late this Summer, and moving here gave us the opportunity to be together again. He has two young boys, so I’ve been trying to figure out life with toddlers. It’s been really, really good. It’s just left me unsure about my plans and what I want from music. I guess you saw that.”

“I see,” his professor said. “Do you mean you’re considering dropping out?”

“Not very seriously, but I have considered it.”

“Do you want my advice?”

“Yes,” Elio answered.

“There are more reasons to be here than a singular goal. Right now you have the opportunity to get a world-class education, and I would encourage you to take advantage of it, whatever you end up doing.”

Elio nodded. “Thank you. I intend to.”

“Very good. Now, enjoy them while they’re toddlers, because tomorrow they’ll be teenagers.”

Elio cracked a smile. “Do you have teenagers now, sir?”

“19 and 21. And this age is good too. But when I’m feeling nostalgic, I always remember them as toddlers.”

“I’m enjoying them very much. Thank you for the advice, sir.”

Professor Min nodded. “You have met the requirements, so I’ll be submitting your grade as a pass. I am going to continue holding you to a high standard. Enjoy the holidays and we’ll talk again in January.”

“Thank you.” Elio replied. “Thank you very much. Happy holidays!”

Elio grabbed Oliver’s coat and pulled it on. On his way out of the building, he stopped to talk briefly to some classmates before leaving campus.

He wanted to go to Columbia. Maybe bring Oliver lunch. But he knew he would be busy trying to finish his grading and Elio had some things to take care of on his own, so he reluctantly made his way back to Edna’s instead.

When he got there, he ran upstairs and looked around his room, uncertain about what to do first. He opened his trunk and threw in the few books that were sitting on his desk. He packed the suit hanging in the closet.

Then he heard some noise downstairs and leaned over the balcony to see Edna letting herself into her apartment.

“Hi Edna. Can I talk to you?” Elio asked.

She turned to look at him and smiled. “Of course, Elio. Come in, come in.”

He ran down the stairs and followed her into her apartment. Edna hung up her coat and then took a seat in her favorite chair before motioning to Elio to sit on the couch.

He took his seat and then said. “Um, I wanted to give you my notice that I’ll be moving out. I know I missed the deadline, so I’ll pay rent for January, but I’m planning to move out . . . today.”

“Okay. We’re sorry to see you go, but that’s no problem. I’ll just ask you to put that in writing when you get a chance.”

Elio took a deep breath. “Thank you. Yes, I will.”

“Are you moving in with your Oliver?”

Elio bit his lips to hold back his smile. “Yes.”

“Well, I’m not surprised. He’s handsome, isn’t he?” Edna asked.

Elio laughed. “Yes, he is.”

“Do you want me to see if I can find someone to rent out the place early? That would save you some money.”

“Yes,” Elio answered again. “If it’s not a lot of trouble. I actually might have a friend who is interested.” Joey was living with his parents in New Jersey and was talking about moving to the city.

“Why don’t you talk to him and have him give me a call if he’s interested?” Edna said. “If I don’t hear from him by Monday, I’ll go ahead and put an ad in the paper.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

“Of course, of course.” She said. “I know you said you’re planning on moving today. That’s fine, but I’ll need you to stop by again before the end of the month for us to close everything out. Just as soon as my son can get over to inspect the room.”

“Yes, okay. Oliver’s number is the one listed as my emergency contact. You can call me there when everything is set and we’ll come by.”

“Sounds good, sweetie. Bring those little boys with you. Oliver showed me pictures yesterday when we had tea.”

Elio smiled. “Okay, we will.”

He chatted with Edna a while longer. Though he’d spent only a handful of nights in his room here, he started to feel nostalgic talking to her. Back before Oliver returned to Crema and Elio was trying to plan a life for himself in New York via long-distance calls from Italy, Edna had been his first contact.

Things had gone so well with Edna that when he left her apartment, Elio was motivated to have another conversation he was nervous about. He walked upstairs, grabbed the phone, and pulled it into the closet.

“Hi, mom.” He said when she picked up.

“Tesoro, is everything okay?” This wasn’t the normal time he called and his father had no doubt told her about the conversation they’d had yesterday.

“Everything’s good. It’s great. I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

“What is it?”

“Um . . . .” He started. As open as he was with his parents, money felt like such an awkward topic. He was more willing to tell his mom about his sex life than ask about money. But his mom knew the details of his trust better than anyone, and she had always been in charge of the family finances.

“I’ve decided to move in with Oliver,” he said. It was real now that he was telling his mom. “And I’d like to contribute to his rent. I’m wondering how that would work with the way everything is set up?”

“Elio, that’s wonderful! You talked through everything?”

“Yes,” he said.

“We knew you would.” She said. “Now, how much is his rent?”

“I don’t know. I’ll ask. I just . . . I want to cover my half.”

“Of course. It’s a simple process. They’ll probably cut a check for six months or a year, especially since it’s international.”

“Do I need to do anything?” Elio asked. “Do I have to be on the lease? And what about utilities? I didn’t have any here I had to pay, but I know Oliver does.”

“No, no. Unless it’s an abnormally large amount, there shouldn’t be an issue. At most, we would need a statement from his landlord about the rent, but I don’t even think that is necessary. Talk to Oliver and then let me know the monthly total, including utilities, and I’ll send a check or we can wire it to you.”

“Thanks, mom.” He said. “What about . . . well, I have enough right now, but I’d like to be able to help out with the boys. Their care and everything.”

“The money is intended to support you while you’re in school, so it can be used to cover any of your expenses. Whatever is left will be turned over to you when you’re 25. There will be fewer restrictions on it then.”

“And is there enough . . . ?” He trailed off.

Annella knew what her son was too uncomfortable to ask. “It’s a very healthy trust. By the time you have full access to it, I think there will be enough at least for a down payment on a place if you choose to buy. Of course, your father and I could help you with anything you need too.”

Elio nodded, which his mother seemed to register through the phone.

“Have you and Oliver talked about money?” She asked.

“A little bit. I’ve been covering a lot of the groceries and some other things here and there, but I’d like to split everything equally. I think we’ll look for a 3-bedroom to rent when Oliver’s lease is up, but that’s not until the Summer. He wants the boys to have their own rooms the way they do at Rachel’s.”

“It’s important to talk about and make sure you’re on the same page. Money is an issue in a lot of relationships. Of course, having enough of it usually makes that easier, but it’s still important to talk about.”

“We do. We _will_.” Elio said. “Oliver doesn’t want me to worry about any of this until I graduate, but I don’t want to wait that long. I know he worries about money.”

“You’re doing the right thing.” His mother would always tell him when she agreed with his decisions.

“I want to be a true partner to Oliver and not another person he has to take care of.”

“Tesoro, he doesn’t think of you that way. Oliver likes to care for others, but you take care of each other. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”

“I hope so.” Elio said.

“You never let him open his own soft-boiled eggs. You won’t even let Mafalda do it for him.”

“He always gets shell inside and Mafalda doesn’t open the top wide enough for the spoon.”

“I see the ways you look out for him, anticipate his needs, put him at ease.”

Elio smiled at that.

“It’s true, tesoro.” She said. “You just talked to us days ago about what Oliver needs from us. He is lucky to have you. It’s a beautiful thing to watch you take care of each other.”

“Thank you, mom.”

“Of course, my baby. We’re going to be seeing you very soon, you know. It’s only a week now.”

“I can’t wait,” Elio said.

“I’m bringing gifts for Simon and little Noah. I know they’re still young, but we want to spoil them rotten like grandparents should.”

“They’ll love you no matter what, but gifts won’t hurt. Noah likes anything soft and Simon likes books. I wonder if you could bring some French or Italian children’s books we could read to him?”

“I will. Don’t tell your father or next thing you know he’ll have 50 books shipped to your door.”

Elio laughed. “I won’t.”

“We love you, tesoro. We can’t wait to see you and your little family. Keep taking care of each other.”

“We will,” Elio said. “Love you.”

Elio hung up the phone and went back to his room. He knew what to do now. He threw the rest of his books in his trunk, stripped the sheets from the bed, and gathered together the few things he had in the bathroom.

Packing was the easy part. Cleaning was more work. He borrowed what he needed from Edna, sweeping the floor of his room and dusting for the first time. Disuse had taken more of a toll than anything, but with a little elbow grease, the room looked almost exactly as it had the day he moved in.

By the time he was dragging his trunk down the stairs, his roommate Jeff was just returning home from work. Edna saw him off and Jeff helped him carry his trunk to a waiting cab.

He could have waited until the weekend when Oliver would have been available to help him, but it was important for Elio to take care of this today. So he dragged his trunk by himself into their building, up to the fifth floor, and down the hall to the apartment.

Elio was exhausted and starving by the time he got the trunk inside, so he paused to make himself a sandwich and then started unpacking his trunk. The sheets and towels he put in the laundry basket, the books he stacked artfully on his desk, and the clothes he hung up in the closet where Oliver had silently been making more and more room for him over the months.

He wanted to make it look like he’d always been there, because that’s how he was starting to feel. The only thing out of place was his large trunk. Elio searched the apartment for the key to Oliver’s storage area in the basement, but he couldn’t find it, so he left the trunk leaning up against the wall by the door and ran to meet Oliver at daycare. He wore his own coat and carried Oliver’s with him.

When he arrived outside daycare, Elio could see Oliver making his way toward him, long legs moving quickly up the sidewalk and a big smile on his face as soon as he saw Elio. He’d worried that morning that it would take them a while to move on from their fight, but here was his happy Oliver.

They hugged briefly before Elio pulled away and held up Oliver’s coat, so he could slip in one arm and then the next. “Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

“Of course, baby. Come on,” he said, holding open the door to the daycare.

Simon was playing with a group of friends when he spotted his dad and then Elio. He ran to the gate and then waited impatiently for a daycare staff member to open it for him. Elio squatted down and Simon ran into his arms. He laughed when Elio squeezed him, but his arms were very tight around his neck

“Oh, you’re such a good hugger. I missed you!” Elio said. Simon giggled when he squeezed him again. “Ready for pizza?”

“Can we go to the place with the games?” He asked.

“We’ll talk about it,” Elio said. “Go grab your coat, okay?”

Elio turned in time to see Oliver pick up Noah, who was reaching for him with his arms outstretched.

It was a small fight to get Simon’s coat zipped up, because he wanted it open, but Oliver insisted it was too cold. Noah didn’t seem to mind being fully encased in the puffy coat Elio had purchased for him

They went to the pizza parlor that had a small arcade that Simon liked, even though he was too young for most of the games. After the short walk there, they decided to get their pizza to go, so they could take it home and get out of the weather for the night.

Elio carried their pizza, while Oliver held Noah in one arm and Simon’s hand in the other. They hadn’t made it half a block before Simon complained, “Daddy, you’re going too fast!”

“I’m sorry, buddy.” Oliver said, stopping and leaning down. “Can you climb on?”

Simon wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck and Oliver stood up with both boys in his arms. That allowed them to move much faster.

Once they got inside the lobby of their building, Oliver set Simon down and he went running to push the elevator button. Oliver and Elio followed close behind. “This weather has me dreaming of Summer in Crema.”

“What’s that, daddy?” Simon asked.

“It’s a wonderful place in Italy where Elio’s family spends their vacations. We’ll take you and your brother there this Summer.”

Elio beamed at that. He couldn’t wait.

When Oliver unlocked the door to the apartment, he pushed it open wide, and it hit against something. “What was that?” he asked, turning on the lights.

Elio had been thinking about how to talk to Oliver about everything, but in his haste that afternoon, had not fully considered that his trunk in the living room would give it all way. He froze in place while Oliver, with Noah still in his arms, closed the door to see the trunk.

He whipped around quickly to look at Elio and asked, “Does this mean . . . ?”

Elio just smiled and nodded. Before he could so much as blink, Oliver had stepped up to him and pressed their lips together. It was chaste, but more than a peck on the lips. He could feel Oliver smiling into the kiss and he couldn’t contain his own grin.

They both seemed to remember they weren’t alone when Noah started giggling and Simon asked, “What? What happened? Daddy, what happened? Ewio?!”

Oliver gave Noah a big kiss on his cheek, which made him giggle more, and then he looked down at Simon and said, “Elio is moving in with us!”

Simon looked confused at that, but was soon distracted by the pizza. Once they finished dinner, Oliver started cleaning up and said, “Simon, bath and jammies now, and then you can have some extra stories, okay?”

“‘kay,” he said. They both knew that’s what he said when he wasn’t paying attention, but to Elio’s surprise, he didn’t try to fight taking his bath. While he splashed in the tub with Noah, Simon told them about the party they’d be having at pre-school the next day, the last day of school before the holidays.”

While Oliver let Noah run around to get out the last of his energy, Elio helped Simon get dressed in his pajamas.

“I want to wear my sweatshirt like yours,” he said, pointing at Elio’s Juilliard sweatshirt.

Elio smiled and went to find it in the closet. Simon held up his arms as Elio pulled the sweatshirt over his head. As soon as it was on, Simon pushed up the sleeves like Elio was wearing his.

He let Simon pick out three books and then they went to the couch to wait for Oliver. Elio started reading the train book, which was Simon’s favorite. They all had it practically memorized, but Elio took comfort in the familiarity of it. Oliver joined them as soon as he’d put Noah to bed.

“Can we read Corduroy next?” Simon asked as soon as they finished the train book.

“Of course, buddy, but we want to talk to you first.” Oliver said.

Simon looked up at his dad.

“I’m sorry I yelled the other night. Elio and I had a disagreement, but we talked everything through, and we’ve forgiven each other.”

Simon was silent as he took that in and they waited patiently until he asked, “Where did Ewio go?”

“Until today, I had my own place that I rented, so I went to stay there.” Elio said. “I’m sorry I left. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“You live here now?” Simon asked.

“Yes, buddy. I’ll be here every night for stories and every morning too, okay?”

Simon nodded dramatically, which made Elio laugh. “Your daddy and I love you very much.”

“I love you,” Simon said.

“How much?” Oliver asked and Simon extended his arms as wide as he could. Oliver laughed and pulled Simon into his lap to tickle him. Elio was merely a witness to this until Oliver whispered something in Simon’s ear and then suddenly they were both tickling him.

Elio tried to fight off their hands, little and big, but finally jumped up to get away.

“Come back, baby. We won’t tickle you any more. Right, buddy?”

Simon dramatically shook his head _no_ , but Elio wasn’t so sure about that. He told them to continue reading, and he made tea for himself and Oliver, and some warm milk for Simon.

After two more stories, Simon started struggling to keep his eyes open, but he denied it through an encore of the train book. Finally, Elio said it was time for bed. Simon insisted that both of them stay in the boys’ room until he had fallen asleep, which took no more than 2 minutes, but they waited five to be sure.

It was still early, but Elio went to get ready for bed, quickly rinsing off his body in the shower, while Oliver did his normal routine of checking that the front door was locked, turning off the lights, and setting the thermostat for the night.

While Oliver brushed his teeth in the bathroom, Elio went to their room to pull on a fresh pair of boxers and then sit nervously on the bed.

“What is it?” Oliver asked when he walked into the room and Elio looked at him expectantly. He shut the door behind himself and started stripping down to his boxers.

“I want to talk to you about some things.”

“Okay,” Oliver said, pulling back the covers and sitting on the bed in his normal spot. “You’re so far away over there . . . “ He said, motioning toward the space that separated them on the king sized bed.

Elio scooted a little closer and when Oliver frowned at that, he said, “I don’t want to be distracted.”

“I’ll be good, I promise. I just want to hold you.”

Elio stopped resisting and climbed into Oliver’s lap. The way Oliver smiled up at him so sweetly, he knew he’d made the right decision.

“What do you want to talk about, baby?”

Elio hesitated a second. It had been a day full of the kind of conversations that made him nervous, but they had all gone so well that he decided to say everything he had been thinking about. “There are some things I need to I feel like your . . . _partner_ and not just, like, a roommate you sleep with.”

Oliver laughed at that, but quickly recovered. “I don’t agree with that description, but tell me what you need.”

“I want to pay half of rent and utilities and food and stuff for the boys, their care, and whatever other expenses you have.”

“Elio—.”

“It’s important to me to feel like I’m contributing _equally_!” He interrupted.

“Okay, I’m not objecting to that. I just want to be clear that we’re equal partners regardless of who is paying for what.”

“Oliver, I _have_ the money. I checked everything with my mom.” Elio cringed at how immature that must sound to Oliver who had been paying his own way for so long.

“Elio, I’m not saying _no_. With you contributing, we’d have enough to start planning for the future in a way I haven’t been able to. I just mean that if at some point in the future one of us isn’t able to contribute financially in the same way, we’ll still be equal partners.”

Elio nodded. “Yes, you’re right.”

“Good,” Oliver said. “We can sit down soon and make some plans.”

“This weekend,” Elio insisted.

“This weekend,” Oliver agreed.

“There’s more . . . .”

“Okay,” Oliver said, nodding for him to continue.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready for this right now, but I want . . . when the boys are with us, I want to share responsibility for taking care of them.”

“We do already, baby. You do so much for them.”

“I want it to be equal. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to do all the hard parts while I handle 50% of the cuddling.”

Oliver laughed. “You’re doing at least _60%_ of that now.”

“Oliver, I’m serious.”

“I think you’re doing more than you’re giving yourself credit for, but I would love to share that responsibility with you. And I want you to be included in the decisions that Rachel and I make together.”

Elio grinned widely at that.

“Anything else?” Oliver asked.

“Yes . . .” Elio started. He decided to just put everything out there. “I know you want me to be more vocal . . . in bed.”

Oliver looked concerned. “I just want to be sure you’re getting what you want and need. Our first Summer, I regretted not checking in with you more about how you felt about what we were doing.”

“I love everything we do and I like when you . . . take the lead.”

“You do?” Oliver asked, now clearly amused at the turn this conversation had taken.

Elio nodded, collapsing into Oliver to hide his face in his neck.

“Why does talking about sex make you shy?” Oliver asked. “I’ve never understood that.”

“It’s not sex.” Elio mumbled. “It’s you.”

“What?” Oliver asked.

“It’s you. I want you so much all the time and have since I was 17. You’re overwhelming.”

Oliver kissed his cheek. “You’re so adorable. I hope you were telling all those Italian boys exactly what you wanted.”

Elio pulled back to look at him. “I was kind of bossy. And a bit of an asshole. I just wanted you.”

Oliver tightened his arms around him and Elio nuzzled into his neck. “Goose, you know it’s the same for me. I could barely get through a night without you.”

Elio sighed.

“What changed, baby? You know you don’t need to move in until you’re ready.”

“I’m ready,” Elio said. “My home is with you, wherever you are, and with Simon and Noah.”

He felt Oliver smile. “You’re just as cheesy as me.” He said, tickling Elio’s sides.

“Stop,” he said breathlessly as he squirmed. As soon as Oliver relented, Elio leaned in for a kiss.

“I love you, Elio Perlman.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! One more chapter to go. All too happy to chat and answer questions on tumblr.


	17. Oliver is Optimistic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1988 ends with a visit from the Perlmans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story. Stay tuned for more of this family to come.
> 
> And thank you to elibabette-oo on tumblr, who did these beautiful illustrations: [Elio and Noah](https://elibabette-oo.tumblr.com/post/634319892022263808/new-york-1988) and [Oliver/Elio/Noah/Simon](https://elibabette-oo.tumblr.com/post/634252989115334656/new-york-1988).

Oliver woke up exactly as he had fallen asleep, with Elio in his arms as his little spoon, his legs tucked up under his boyfriend’s, so he could feel every inch of his soft, warm skin. It was a tough decision whether to enjoy this moment or risk waking Elio up by kissing the nape of his neck and skimming his fingers across his tummy.

It wasn’t much of a choice. Oliver couldn’t resist pulling Elio tighter to himself and pressing his lips to his neck, breathing him in.

Without opening his eyes, Elio turned around, buried his face in Oliver’s chest, wrapped one arm tight around his back, and hitched a leg up over Oliver’s hip before falling back to sleep.

Oliver enjoyed this new position for a while before he pushed Elio’s hair back from his face to kiss his forehead. “Elio, baby. We need to get up. Rachel’s going to be here with the boys in less than an hour.”

“Five more minutes,” Elio mumbled, tightening his arm around Oliver’s back to keep him there.

It was Monday morning and they’d had a full weekend to reconnect and catch up on sleep. Oliver had finished his grading while Elio deep cleaned the apartment and got it ready for visitors. The Perlmans would be staying at a hotel nearby, but they’d be spending plenty of time at the apartment.

It was Rachel’s week with the boys, but since both Elio and Oliver had wrapped up their school and work commitments for the year, they decided to take the boys for the day instead of sending them to daycare.

Elio whined when the five minutes was up and Oliver started pulling away. “Come with me,” Oliver said, kissing his lips. “We’ll take a shower and then I’ll make you breakfast.”

With one more tiny whimper, Elio got up and followed Oliver into the shower. He seemed to come to life while standing under the warm water, his green eyes opening fully for the first time that morning.

An infectious grin spread across Elio’s face. Oliver laughed, unable to resist smiling back. “You happy, baby?”

“Yes.” Elio said, smile still on his face. “I get to spend the day with all my boys. And my parents are going to be here in a couple days. I’m happy.”

“Good,” Oliver said, leaning in for a kiss. “Me too.”

Despite how important it had been to him, Oliver wasn’t expecting Elio finally moving in to change much about their day-to-day life. They’d already spent almost every night together since Elio moved to New York. But he was taking his cues from Elio and for him it clearly made a difference to call this apartment home.

Over the weekend, they’d done some things to make it feel more like _their_ place. First to go was Oliver’s plastic coffee maker, which Elio replaced with a french press. They sorted through their books and Oliver decided to get rid of some of his and take others to his office, so that Elio had room on the shelves above his desk for all of his books.

They’d also taken some time over the weekend to talk about their finances. Oliver had felt spread pretty thin since the divorce, so he was excited that they would finally be able to save for their future. First priority was a larger apartment where the boys could have their own rooms and Elio could have a piano. He thought living with a piano again might reawaken something in Elio, and he wanted the boys to grow up in a house with music.

They took their time in the shower, dressed in casual clothes, and then Oliver started on breakfast while Elio made the coffee. They had only just finished eating when they heard the buzzer, and Oliver pushed the button to let Rachel into the building.

As usual, Simon was full of energy early in the morning while Noah was practically asleep in Rachel’s arms. Oliver took him, which he fussed over for a second, before resting his head on his dad’s shoulder and calming down.

Elio offered Rachel coffee, but she had to run to work, so she kissed the boys and left quickly.

“Simon, we’re going to run some errands this morning, okay? If you’re good, we’ll take you to McDonald’s for lunch.”

“I get a toy?” Simon asked, struggling to get out of his coat.

“Yes,” Oliver answered as Elio helped him pull off his coat. “Can you play for a bit while Elio and I clean up?”

“Yeah,” Simon answered, running to his room.

They made it out of the apartment an hour later and went first to Columbia where Oliver dropped off all the papers he had graded, so his TA could add them to the grade book and submit the final grades for all his students.

Then they made their way to Edna’s to finalize everything with Elio’s move out. Now that he was fully awake, Noah chattered the whole way there. Almost overnight he’d gone from saying a few select words—dada, mama, juice—to babbling non-stop in a language all his own. Occasionally he would say something and then look at them like he expected his meaning to be clear.

“I know, I know,” Oliver would say.

During breaks from Noah’s monologues, they were trying to prepare Simon for the Perlman’s visit. “Elio’s mom and dad are going to come visit us from Italy very soon, and we’re going to do lots of fun things with them.”

“What things?” Simon asked. He had spoken to Samuel and Annella on the phone a couple times, but didn’t seem to fully grasp who they were.

“We’ll go to museums, parks . . .” Elio said. “Maybe we can swim in their hotel’s pool. They can’t wait to meet you.”

Simon got quiet after that, but when they arrived at Edna’s, he cheerfully answered all of her questions, telling her about his favorite books. Noah was happy to sit on Edna’s lap while they chatted, but finally said “dada” and reached for Oliver.

As promised, they went to McDonald’s for lunch. There was a small indoor play center with a slide and ball pit. Usually Simon begged to go play before he had finished his meal, but this time he sat quietly nibbling on some fries, lost in thought.

“Are you excited to go play, buddy?” Oliver asked.

“Yeah,” Simon said quietly.

Elio gave Oliver a look before turning to Simon. “Eat two more of your chicken nuggets and we’ll go down the slide together, okay?”

Simon cheered up a bit at that and ate two more nuggets. Even though he was in the middle of his own meal, Elio took him to go play. It was a joy to watch Elio with the boys. He could hear Simon’s laughter echoing before he came down the slide with Elio quickly following.

Oliver watched the boys in the ball pit while Elio finished his lunch. Noah seemed completely confused by the whole thing. Simon was giggling as Oliver threw plastic balls toward him until he suddenly grew serious and asked, “Where’s Ewio?”

“He’s right here,” Oliver said, moving so he wasn’t blocking Simon’s sightline. “He’s finishing his burger.”

Simon reached out for his dad and Oliver extended a long arm to pull him closer and then pick him up. He set Simon down on the ground and reached for Noah.

“Daddy!” Simon said, standing in front of him with his arms outstretched.

“Hold on, buddy.” Oliver said. “Elio, can you take Noah?”

Elio shoved two more fries in his mouth and stood up to pick up Noah, so Oliver could pick Simon up.

Elio shot him another concerned look, but Oliver smiled reassuringly as he shifted Simon on to his hip. “Lets go home. I think Noah is ready for his nap.”

As soon as they got home, Elio encouraged Oliver to go for a run. Elio always seemed to know what he needed better than he did, so Oliver quickly changed into his running gear and headed out the door, leaving Elio to put Noah down for his nap.

When Oliver walked back into the apartment an hour later, it was very quiet. He walked down the hall to their bedroom and found not just Noah, but Simon and Elio asleep on the king-sized bed. If he wasn’t sweaty, he might have curled up next to them, but instead he draped a blanket over them and went to take a shower.

When Oliver walked back into the bedroom after getting out of the shower, he pulled on a pair of jeans and t-shirt. He could see Simon starting to wake up, looking a little disoriented. He had a frown on his face as he looked around the room.

Oliver quickly pulled the Juilliard sweatshirt over his head and went to pick Simon up from the bed while Noah and Elio continued to sleep. “Come on, buddy.”

Simon still looked upset as they walked down the hall to the living room. “Why are you wearing Ewio’s sweatshirt?” He asked in a whiny voice.

“It’s ours. We share it.” Oliver answered.

Simon was quiet for a moment and then asked. “When Ewio’s mommy and daddy come, is he going to go with them?”

“What do you mean?” Oliver asked.

“Is he going to live with them now?”

“What? No, buddy. Elio lives with us. That’s not going to change.” Oliver said.

“Really?” Simon asked, frown still on his face.

“Elio’s parents are just coming to visit. Elio isn’t going anywhere. He lives with us permanently.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

“Forever. Always.” Oliver said, hugging his son tighter. “Have you been worrying about this?”

Simon nodded and started crying, wrapping his arms tight around his dad.

“Oh, buddy. It’s okay. It’s okay.” Oliver sat down on the couch as Simon cried into his chest. He kissed the top of his head and said, “Elio is part of our family now. He’ll always be with us.”

Oliver knew that when Simon got like this, he just needed to cry it out, so he held him tight and let him cry. It took him a few minutes to start calming down.

“Will it make you feel better to talk to Elio when he wakes up?” Oliver asked.

Simon nodded into him.

“Okay.” He held his son for several long minutes. “You know that your mommy and Elio and I are always here to help you. You can always tell us if something is bothering you.”

“I know, daddy.”

“Good,” Oliver replied. “You feeling a little better?”

“Yeah,” Simon answered.

“Can you take a deep breath?” Oliver asked.

Simon sat up and took a dramatic breath, puffing out his cheeks as he filled them with air. Oliver laughed, so Simon let out the breath and took another one. He had to let that one out when Oliver started tickling him and he burst out in laughter.

“You want some water?” Oliver asked when he finally relented.

“Can I have juice?” Simon asked.

Oliver got him juice in his favorite cup. Once they sat down on the couch again, Simon crawled back into his lap. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while and then Oliver asked, “Tomorrow, will you help us pick out some things for Elio’s parents to enjoy when they’re here?”

“What things?” Simon asked quietly.

“Some nice coffee and chocolates. I think we’ll get some wine for Elio’s mom and cigars for his dad. You could draw them a picture and maybe pick out some of your favorite stories to read with them.”

“They like stories?” Simon asked.

“Yes, they love to read.”

When Simon went quiet again, Oliver assumed he was thinking about which books to pick, but then he asked, “What about your mommy and daddy?”

Oliver took a deep breath before answering. He’d been thinking about what to tell Simon about his parents. He wanted to be honest with him, but he didn’t want to upset him. “They live in Connecticut,” he answered.

“What’s that?”

“It’s another state, but not too far away. Your mommy and I took you there a few times when you were little, but you probably don’t remember.”

“Are they going to come visit?” Simon asked.

“No. I’m not close with them the way that Elio is with his parents.”

“Why not?”

“They’re not loving and supportive the way parents should be. Your mommy and Elio and I love you no matter what and forever. My parents are not like that. They don’t like the choices I’ve made for my life.”

Simon looked up at him and frowned at that. Oliver knew they would have many more conversations about this in the future, but for now he wanted his son to know that everything was okay.

“That’s why I’m so happy I have you and your brother and Elio.” Oliver said, squeezing Simon until he laughed.

Simon tried to move within his tight grasp, twisting himself enough so that he could throw his arms around Oliver’s neck and pull himself up enough to kiss his dad’s cheek.

“Oh, thank you,” Oliver said, placing rapid-fire kisses to Simon’s face until he started giggling.

“Daddy!” Simon said breathlessly as he laughed.

When Oliver looked up, he saw Elio standing there with his bed head, smiling at the scene in front of him. “Come here, baby.”

Elio took a couple long strides toward them and plopped down on the couch next to Oliver. Simon was still catching his breath when Oliver asked, “You want to tell Elio what was bothering you?”

Simon nodded, but asked, “Daddy, will you say?”

Oliver turned to Elio. “Simon was worried that when your parent came, you were going to leave with them.”

“What?” Elio said. “No, no, no. Simon, come here.”

Simon launched himself into Elio’s arms and Elio hugged him tight. “You know I’m not going anywhere, right buddy?”

“Yeah.” Simon.

“I love you.” Elio said tenderly.

“Love you!” Simon shouted back. When he saw that made them laugh, he shouted, “Love you! Love you! Love you!”

+++

Oliver woke up on Wednesday morning to Elio snuggling up next to him, tucking his cold limbs into the warmth of Oliver’s body.

“Baby, why are you so cold?” Oliver asked sleepily, pulling Elio in closer.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I got up and made coffee.”

“Too excited?” Oliver asked

“I can’t wait for them to meet the boys and see what our life is like here. This is the longest I have ever been away from them and I’ve missed them so much.”

“Me too.” Oliver said.

Neither of them were able to fall back asleep, so they drank coffee and snuggled in bed until Rachel dropped off the boys.

Elio could not stand still as they waited outside the gate for the Perlmans to get off the plane. He was dancing around in circles with Noah in his arms. Simon watched them curiously for a moment before joining.

When Elio tried to lure Oliver in, he said, “I don’t dance.”

“I know for a fact that isn’t true.” Elio teased. “Simon, did you know your daddy likes to dance?”

“Come on, daddy!” Simon said, taking Elio’s side.

“That was when I was younger.” Oliver replied.

Elio stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. “I only ever got to watch you dance with someone else.”

“Fine!” Oliver gave in immediately. “But I’m not dancing in an airport. If you want me to dance, you’ll have to buy me a drink first.”

Elio grinned back at him and then turned his attention to Noah, who was babbling at him.

Oliver was the first one to spot them, but it was Annella shouting “Tesoro” that got Elio’s attention. He watched as she hugged Elio and then started cooing at Noah.

“Ol-i-ver!” Samuel said and gave him a hug. “And this must be Simon. Hello! I’m Sammy and this is Annella.” He gestured toward his wife.

“Hi,” Simon said shyly. And then louder: “I drew you a picture!” He held the piece of construction paper up for Samuel to see, but as soon as he took it, Simon moved to his favorite hiding spot behind Oliver’s legs.

“Oh my goodness. Annella, come take a look at this picture Simon drew for us!” Samuel pointed at the drawing. “This must be your dad, then you, Elio with the curly hair, of course, and then is this your brother?”

“Yeah,” Simon said, peaking out from behind Oliver’s legs. “That’s Nohy.”

“I bet you’re such a good big brother.” Samuel said and Simon nodded.

Annella made her way over to them and gave Oliver a hug before crouching down to Simon’s level. “Elio says you give such good hugs. Can I have one?”

Simon smiled and leaned in to hug Annella, who wrapped her arms around him tight and said, “He was right! What a good hug!”

When Oliver looked up again, Samuel was holding Noah, and Elio was standing there taking everything in. Oliver wrapped an arm around him in silent comfort.

Soon they started making their way out of the airport, Noah still in Samuel’s arms, Simon holding Annella’s hand, and Elio and Oliver following closely behind with the luggage.

They grabbed lunch and then took the Perlman’s to their hotel to check in. It was getting to be early afternoon and they knew Noah would need his nap soon, so they decided to spend some time in the hotel room.

Samuel opened up a suitcase that was full of toys and books for the boys and explained to Simon what each thing was.

Oliver didn’t see it coming even though there had been many signs. He was in the sitting area of the hotel room when Samuel took the seat next to him and soon Annella joined them, sitting on the arm of Samuel’s chair. Elio was playing with the boys.

“It’s so nice finally meeting your babies, Oliver. They’re precious.” Annella said.

“Thank you. We’re so happy to have you both here.”

“We’re so happy to be here with you and your little family. It’s wonderful to be part of and brings us so much joy.” Samuel replied.

“Thank you,” Oliver said.

“Oliver . . .” Samuel started. “We want you to know that we are here for you. We love you.”

He felt emotional at those words, but was able to keep it together as long as he stared down at his lap for a moment. “Thank you. I love you both too. I remember telling Elio years ago that you both treated me like a son-in-law—.”

“We don’t think of you as our son-in-law.” Annella interrupted. “We love you as our son.”

Oliver nodded, trying less successfully now to hold back his tears. He felt Samuel’s hand on his back. “Anything you or your boys ever need, we’re here. You know we’ve always thought of you as part of the family, Oliver, but we hope you see yourself that way now.”

“I do.” Oliver choked out. He took a deep breath. “It means a lot to me and I’m so happy my sons will have you both.”

“Oh, Oliver.” Annella said. She came closer and put an arm around him. The three of them sat in a comfortable silence as they watched Elio play with the boys. At some point, Elio shared a look with his parents, and then Samuel patted Oliver’s hand and Annella kissed the top of his head before they went to join the boys and Elio came to Oliver.

He knew this had been Elio’s doing. Something he had no doubt planned with his parents. And he shouldn’t have been surprised, because Elio always checked with him before sharing personal details with his parents and he had found many subtle ways to ask Oliver what he needed from them, even before he had effectively severed ties with his own parents by telling them about Elio.

As soon as Elio was close enough, Oliver wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him into his lap. He was feeling so emotional that he hid his face in Elio’s side. Elio didn’t seem surprised at all by this. He wrapped an arm around Oliver and gently scratched at the nape of his neck.

“Thank you,” Oliver mumbled.

Elio leaned down close to Oliver’s ear. “Everyone here loves you so much.”

He kept his face hidden as he cried. Oliver had been alone most of his life. He had found people to love, who loved him back, but none of them had been parents.

Elio held Oliver’s head against head body and gently smoothed down his hair. When Oliver finally lifted his head and looked up at him, he grinned and took Oliver’s face in his hand to wipe away his tears with his thumbs. Then he kissed his lips.

Simon interrupted their quiet moment by yelling from the other side of the room, “Daddy! Nella and Sammy are gonna read me a new book!”

“That’s great, buddy.” Oliver replied.

“Ewio, come listen!” Simon pleaded.

“We’ll be there in a minute. You guys get started, okay?”

They watched as Simon and Annella settled in to read, while Noah laughed at the faces Samuel made and reached to grab fistfuls of his beard.

Elio buried his face in Oliver’s neck. “It’s too cute. I can’t handle it.”

Oliver huffed a laugh and tightened his arms around Elio.

The Perlmans won the boys over quickly. Simon loved when they read stories to him, taking turns acting out the different parts. Samuel enthusiastically answered every question Simon could think up and Annella had long conversations with Noah, often speaking in French or Italian, which seemed to delight him.

It was Elio and his mom who came up with the idea of throwing a small party on New Year’s Eve. It would be an opportunity to see their friends and introduce them to the Perlmans.

Oliver’s friends stopped by and left early to get their kids home to sleep. Elio’s friends stopped by and left before midnight so they could celebrate downtown. They had put the boys to sleep in their room, hoping the noise of the small party wouldn’t keep them up, but when Simon kept waking up, afraid he was missing out, they decided to let him stay up.

By midnight, Simon was asleep in Rachel’s arms. He didn’t wake up, despite the noise outside on the street. Rachel put him to bed in Elio and Oliver’s room again before heading home.

When it was just the four of them, Samuel made them each one final drink and they rang in the new year together.

“What are you two hoping for this year?” Annella asked, raising her eyebrows first at Oliver and then Elio.

“A bigger apartment,” Oliver said.

“And a puppy,” Elio added.

“You were serious about that?” Oliver asked, tickling Elio’s sides.

“Yes!” Elio answered. “Mom, you should see the way the boys act when there’s a dog around. They would love it.”

“They would.” Oliver conceded. “Can we wait until we get a bigger place?”

Elio nodded with a satisfied grin.

The Perlman’s left for their hotel a short time later. After sending them off, Elio and Oliver collapsed again on the couch.

“What are you thinking about?” Elio asked after a moment of silence had passed.

“About the things I want for us. Not necessarily this year, but . . . eventually.” He gave a small shrug as if to downplay what he was saying.

Elio climbed into his lap and when Oliver looked up at him, he said, “You want to get married.”

Oliver nodded.

“And you want another baby. More than one?”

Oliver nodded again, but then quickly added. “Only if you want those things. I don’t need anything more than what we have right now.”

Elio stared down at him for a moment and then a sweet smile spread across his face. “Oliver, I would marry you tomorrow. But I would like to wait until I’m a little more . . . established before more kids.”

“Of course,” Oliver replied, so delighted that they wanted the same things.

“It’s just . . . “ Elio continued. “What makes you so sure these are things that we can have?Doesn’t it concern you that the world isn’t exactly friendly to people like us?”

“It concerns me,” Oliver admitted. “Especially that our children might be treated differently because of who their parents love. But five years ago, I thought there was no way we could ever be together and now here we are. That will always make me optimistic about the future.”

“Okay,” Elio said.“If you’re optimistic, then so am I.”

“So cheesy,” Oliver responded, shaking his head.

“Hey!” Elio swatted at him in fake indignance.

Oliver grabbed his hand and kissed it. “Happy New Year.”

Elio leaned in for a kiss. “Happy New Year.”

They made a half-hearted attempt to clean up the living room before giving up and heading to bed. Noah fussed for a moment when Elio sat down on the bed next to him. His eyes were still closed, but he was making a face like he was going to cry, so Elio picked him up and patted his back.

Oliver took in the scene of Simon sprawled on the bed, his long limbs taking up most of the available space, and a fussy Noah in Elio’s arms and asked, “You sure this is what you want, baby?”

“Eh, it’s not bad,” Elio replied.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: [December1983](https://december1983.tumblr.com/).


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